Atomic in Albuquerque

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Most of you know just from reading this blog that I'm a romantic - everything in my life is oozed over. I'm no neutral gal - everything's amazing or awful. People or places are polarised by my imagination. But usually they're sent towards the positive - even if they don't deserve it!

Well, New Mexico deserves it. I fell in love at first sight. Exhausted as I was from flying here via Chicago, landing at sunset, seeing the red sky over the desert and the Sandia Mountains (means "watermelon" as it reflects red so much), I was simply dumb-struck. Beauty beyond belief.

There has been a lot of that on this trip - in terms of buildings, art, people's kindness, smiles. I am aware of it - all the incredible sights I've seen - but I think it won't really settle in my heart until I'm home, nosing the tons of shots I've taken.

But New Mexico is in my heart already. Not Albuquerque so much - much of it is the usual bland sprawl of new Americana - but the light which is as pale and slanting as an O'Keefe painting and the magical mix of cultures: Hispanic, Anglo, Native American and Asian too. I just long to run out into the desert and see the sunset bring all its velvets. I will one day - I've decided that I'm coming back to travel more here.

Yes, I wish I had a car as I feel there is so much beyond the city limits. Again, I'm trapped by being a two legs. I must learn to drive before I come back - I feel so vulnerable without a car. I got the last bus back from the Old Town, but it dropped me in the middle of nowhere and, having no credit on my mobile, I had to go into a car dealership to use theirs and call a cab. Scary, but I'm learning to keep calm. That's one major lesson from this trip - don't panic! Most, if not all, things are somehow sortable. I'm getting good at holding my cool and considering my options. However, I am a bit worried that my hotel In Houston doesn't exist and my booking agent has yet to get back and re-arrange stuff. I'm concerned that they won't find me an alternative - I don't think I could afford rooms at a higher prices and such short notice. It will be okay, it will be okay ... breathe. At least, I'm in a palatial Sheraton now - with tow double beds to myself and treated like royalty!!

So, anyhow, I, like (everyone says "like" constantly here - something I'm picking up from living with the guys in DC too!) went to like the Old Town as I said - and although it's small and touristy (but where isn't?), I liked the old plaza and its two-spired church screened by the square's silver spindly trees. I liked the older adobe buildings and blue-painted doors too. I found a wonderful antique turquoise ring .... be warned! NM is full of arts and crafts - and delightful cowboy boots! It is such a place to shop!! I am doing very well though ...

I even got a free lunch! Really! I went to the lovely Church Street Cafe and a lady on a nearby table noticed I was English - she emigrated here from Lancashire - and so I ended up eating with her - Chris - and her husband, Kirk. They're a really interesting couple - working as management consultants for the military and he writes books about freemasonry, linking it to Renaissance thought. Of course, that fascinated me. Quite by chance - synchronicity again! - they are friends with Kathy Sullivan, a famous shuttle astronaut. They're going to put me in touch with her!

We also had a good chat about my feelings about England vs. America - the US still wins, I think - and how I'd like to live here. I just love the friendliness of the people - and the positive attitude to doing stuff. Dreaming is practically illegal in England. Here people want to succeed - and, okay, make money. I've always thought that was such a dirty word, but now (esp. as I've been struggling) I'm starting to think I should get some. So long as it doens't cost me my life or soul! I'm having fantasies of coming over here and starting again, becoming utterly rich so I can do lots of good things for me and others. It seems like the educated middle class here are loaded - second homes, the lot. Something most gifted people in the Uk could never afford. But, hey, maybe the capitalist ideology has got to me ...

The darker side of US politics was certainly on display at the Atomic Museum which I visited this afternoon. I had a very interesting guid who worked in the weapons industry here take me and another man around. The size of Trident bombs is staggering. I didn't know much about the whole business - for example, the second bomb on Japan was not supposed to hit Nagasaki, but the pilots missed their smaller primary target ... Of course, there were also ironic/ sick anecdotes about people drinking radon water to cure themselves - makes me puzzle about what dreadful things we are doing to our bodies now which are supposedly good for us!

Although I know there are issues about saving lives by forcing the Emperor to surrender, there really was no recognition in the exhibition of those who lost their lives so horrifically. The sheer bloody nastiness of the whole business was elided. Innocent people perished, whole cities were decimated and had an awful legacy to face - and yet, all we got here was the glorification of the science of the Manhattan Project. Okay, I didn't face that major decision - but it seemed that the ethical dimension, the consequences to the world of such a terrible invention were absent and I noted that in the visitors' book, as did some others. Shockingly, so many were pro-war in their comments ...

I also met a Chinese student on the bus who I think was called Bing - how cool is that! - and swapped e-mails. People seem to be coming out of nowhere at me today! It's nice as I have felt lonely from time to time. I must write to the very first travel pal I made - a guy called Mark who I met on the plane over (seemingly ages ago) who has a space-mad toddler. He made my flight over much more fun. Incidentally, the plane journeys here yesterday were pretty bumpy at times - I chanted, oh, yes, I chanted.

Anyway, I've said enough and am tired. I'm trying to work out if I have enough cash to get a snack ... hmm. I wish I didn't love to eat so. I'm so rubbish at this starving artist stuff. I need a patron! Or a HUGE bestseller!!! This book better fly or I'm gonna write porn!!!

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