marmite

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luke here, I neglected to sign my most recent instalment and in the event my biscuits and gravy discourse draws a vehement reaction from TEABAG (The Established Association of Biscuits and Gravy) then it's only fair and reasonable I take the backlash.
I'm figuring my supporters, however, although silent at present, are many and varied and are simply waiting to "snap", and take up arms at breakfast eateries throughout the US.
We had another great day roaming around Platte County. The quintet visited a bona fide, lock'em-up, fair-dinkum prison. It looked just like a bought one.
As the evening wore on, news of my biscuit-slurry campaign reached local ears and I found myself yearning for the comforts of home. It wasn't so much the safety of my mother's arms which tugged at the heartstrings, it was more a hankering for Marmite.
I'm not much of a Marmite fan. Marmite (for the unititiated) is a yeasty, gooey, black gloop kids with no sense of smell or human decency smear on their toast in the absence of roading bitumen and hot tar. Like premix asphalt, Marmite has several industrial adhesive qualities yet smells a damn sight worse. It is one of our country's most dubious icons. I imagine it's kind of like England and boiled sausages, or Russian cars.
I needed Marmite to show my American assailants we too have (barely) edible produce which should be legislated against. Biscuits and gravy should have joined slavery in the post-Civil War era, Marmite should have been hunted to extinction instead of the hapless Moa bird. Missouri's just grand, I imagine it would rival our own country in the paradise stakes, but there's those biscuits and gravy holding it back.

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Comments

[jamie oliver]

biscuitsth and gravy
nah way geezer, biscuitsth and gravy isth way worsth. I'm an international chef and prize-pain-in-the-backsthside, I know food. Biscuitsth and gravy isth sthsimply insthsufferable. sthso there

[Moa hunter]

Marmite
Just for the record, marmite is so 'insthsufferable' it is used to smear on faces and exposed limbs to protect bounty hunters from the fierce weta - which is known to bite adventurouse cavemen and women (unless marmite is generously applied to EXTERNAL body surfaces). And to avoid any confusion - vegemite is just as effective against the weta!