To the Top of the Rock!

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Dear readers, if I develop Covid symptoms in the next week to ten days, I’m pretty sure it will be because of this game. Fingers crossed. I hope this doesn’t become a common theme in my football travels this season.

Once the current season began to take shape—and it still is taking shape with each passing week—I staked out a few places in the “lesser” conferences that I wanted to visit. Some of them were out of necessity, due to weird scheduling, ticket prices, and distances. But the University of Southern Mississippi, in the Conference-USA, was one that I wanted to make sure to visit. I drove through Hattiesburg about five years ago, on a trip to Texas, but I remember thinking how nice the campus looked and how big the stadium was (they call it The Rock, for some reason), compared to the conference the school played in. Even at that time, I had hoped to attend a football game there at some point. And now that we’re in bizarro world, it seemed like the thing to do.

One factor I haven’t mentioned about my game choices yet is the quality of the matchup. Since I’m not attending many games this season where I have a rooting interest in either team, then I try to find games where the outcome isn’t virtually predetermined. In Week 1, I didn’t have many options, and that game certainly turned out to be a better contest than the lopsided predictions indicated. On paper, however, the game for this week looked like it would be a better option for drama. Vegas gave the home team a 5-point advantage, but the ESPN computers gave the visiting team a 54% chance to win. Those are both pretty good odds that it’s gonna be a close game. And I’m glad it was.

Due to prior commitments on Friday night, I didn’t get to leave for Hattiesburg until the morning of the game. That wasn’t too bad, since the game didn’t start until 7:30 (6:30 local time). Despite being a six-hour drive, the trip really didn’t feel like it took that long. I arrived at my hotel in Laurel, MS, just before 1:00 PM (local time), and they let me check in early. Sounds good, right? But the room they gave me hadn’t been cleaned up since at least the day before (they told me no one had slept in the room last night, but it was still a mess). So I got a “free upgrade,” which I assume means a king bed instead of a double. That room was nice, but the tub was horrid. So I determined that I’d just avoid the shower altogether for this trip. I wasn’t there for very long, anyway. I got some gas for $1.69/gallon (OMG!) and then headed south to Hattiesburg.

Before I left the hotel, I had looked for fun eateries in town, since I do like to sample the local cuisine. I found a few, but they were all forgotten when I got off the exit and saw Ed’s Burger Joint—the atmosphere looked like so much fun, and it had a decent amount of customers, so I thought it must be worth a trip. Not being hungry yet, however, I went to park my car and pay a visit to the campus swag store before it closed at 4 PM.

If I’m being totally honest, I have no idea how the gameday parking at Southern Miss works. I looked on their website before I left the hotel, and they listed a few places, but the only “free” parking was downtown, via a shuttle. And this was all 2019 information, since 2020 has left us all in the dark about making any plans anymore. At any rate, I found what looked like a place about half a mile from the stadium, called “Open Parking.” It didn’t say “free,” but it also didn’t say how much it costs. No one was there to take money, or anything. So I parked and set out on foot toward the campus bookstore, which was in the Student Union, adjacent to the football stadium.

The campus was oddly quiet, but perhaps that’s the normal situation here, not just indicative of pandemic days. There were some students in the Student Union, eating Subway or Chick-Fil-A, but the rest of the place was shut down and unoccupied. I got some Southern Miss swag—frankly I do like the color yellow, even if it’s masquerading as “gold.” They are the Golden Eagles, and everything in the store was black or yellow, with a little white thrown in there for good measure. It was all very expensive, as well. I got a face mask, which was on display right after you walked in the door (which touted the need to be wearing a mask if you wanted to enter). I also got a little pennant for my wall back home. I had set my heart on getting a yellow hoodie here, so that took the longest amount of time to decide on the design and price. I lucked out that the brand I bought was on sale, unbeknownst to me, so it was actually less expensive than I thought. Once I got all my new stuff, I put the hoodie on over my shirt, and voila—I’m just like one of the natives.

Since it was still nearly 4 hours before kickoff, I meandered around the campus-y part of campus—the old buildings, the gardens, the fountain, the walkways with banners on the lamp posts, etc. It was rather compact, but it looked like it would be a decent place to stroll through. Traffic bouncers were located at various intersections throughout the campus, and one lady had a radio that was playing some Whitney Houston. As I approached, I couldn’t help but start singing it to her. She was already standing up and looking in my direction, so I didn’t take her by surprise. I think she enjoyed my mini concert. I hope so.

Now that I had seen the campus and got my hoodie, I felt a bit peckish. I went to see the main entrance to the campus and then down the main drag in front of the school, which headed back to the interstate and Ed’s Burger Joint. I cross the road and found myself in front of Campus Book Mart, so I took a look inside. Not only did it have zero books, but it also had a bouncer at the door. Despite the “mandate” to allow only ten people in the store at a time, there were probably twice as many. It wasn’t a tiny store, but it was packed with Southern Miss swag, so it definitely felt full. I can’t imagine what it would look like if more than twenty people were inside; probably like sardines. I walked in without checking with the bouncer, but she stopped me and asked how many in my party—just me—and then gave me the okay to enter, since a couple of people were checking out at the register anyway. As I was browsing, I overheard her talking with other patrons, mockingly referring to the mandate not to allow so many people inside but not worrying about it too much. At least a few people were wearing masks. I ended up getting a cheap Southern Miss cap to compliment my new hoodie. I also decided I could get away with spending a little more at places this year, since I would only be going places every OTHER week instead of every week.

My stomach dictated my next stop: Ed’s Burger Joint. It took about 20 minutes to walk there, during which time I began to question the wisdom of buying and then wearing a hoodie. It was only 70 degrees, but the humidity sucked. When it got windy during the game later that night, I was very happy to have my hoodie, though.

At Ed’s Burger Joint, the crowd had grown since I last saw it. And there was a long line at the counter to order, which I hadn’t really expected. So I got in the line and waited my turn, all the while fearing the non-socially distant, maskless customers. I’m fine with you not wearing a mask at the table to eat, but in line? Am I getting paranoid? Just wait!

I ordered a turkey burger and tater tots, both of which were scrumptious. And the sweet tea was actually pretty amazing. But while I was eating, I began to wonder about my car—maybe I had parked BEFORE the parking people showed up to take money, and it was supposed to be gone by then, and maybe they towed my car in the meantime. The Covid paranoia was getting to me. So after I finished eating, I made a beeline to my car. I needed to drop off some stuff, anyway.

Luckily, my car was still there, unharmed. And no parking attendants could be seen. I tossed my bag into the car and headed for the stadium. I hoped to be there around 5 PM, since the game started at 6:30.

Despite the nearing kickoff, campus was basically as empty as it had been when I first arrived. A few frat guys, a couple small families, but that was it. I got to the gate around 4:50, and the gate opened at 5:00.

I don’t know if this applies to the entire stadium, but my section and those surrounding me were all General Admission—no assigned seats, only assigned sections. This was made clear at the boundaries for the sections leading toward the center of the stadium. I was in Section C, which abutted Section D at the 25-yard line. So I sat at the very edge of my section, which was a good choice for the beginning point of many of the drives of the game. I bought my souvenir soda ($7, but free refills, which I didn’t get) and sat there for the entire game. I do wish I had a seatback, since I woke up with an unpleasant back pain the next morning. Alas.

In spite of the stadium supposedly limited to 25% attendance, I would be surprised if it was less than 50%. I sat on the home side, and it was pretty much like what I would expect in a normal game situation. The visiting side looked a little sparse, but that’s to be expected. And the band was up above in the upper deck on the visiting side, nice and spaced out and socially distanced, but no fans were on that level. The student section, I think, was directly across from my section, and it looked like a Covid petri dish. Zero personal space, never mind social distancing. But it didn’t have to be like that; they had chosen to be packed in like sardines in various spots, but closer to the end zone, there were gaps in between some groups. To be so young and so stupid again…

But the stupidity wasn’t confined to the young. Many of the people around me were 50+, and maybe two masks were there in a fifty-foot radius. It was unnerving. At least no one sat directly behind or in front of me; I did have a row in between. But about ten minutes before kickoff, a group of three ladies sat next to me. In normal times, I would say they were considerate and left a space between me and them. But these are not normal times, and they only left a single space between me and them. And did the one closest to me wear a mask? Hell no. One time during the game, she even got up to get a drink at the concessions and almost fell on me as she exited. Ugh.

I only left my seat once in this whole time, before the game, to make one last pit stop. As I entered the bathroom, I saw that two other guys had walked in just before me; as they approached the wall of urinals, one of them jokingly said to his friend, “Make sure you stand six feet away from me.” My first thought was, Isn’t that the normal way this is done when you have an entire wall of urinals? Do these guys not know the law of the men’s bathroom? As I was thinking that, I walked to the far end of the wall, and before I could even begin, some other guy walked in and took the urinal right behind me, the only one on the wall perpendicular to the long urinal wall. Maybe 3 feet from me. Oy. Ve.

There was little in the way of pregame show, except a moment of silence for racial equality (and I didn’t hear any bitching from the crowd, at least). The band played a couple of cheer songs, but that was it. And that brings me to the most colorful woman in my section: I have no idea what her name was, but she was the one who knew everything and had an opinion about everything. She was obviously a long-time Southern Miss fan, probably in her late 60s, but her voice was piercing. You couldn’t help but hear it in the midst of anything going on. During the singing of the alma mater, she knew every word and pitch. If there was a questionable call, she voiced displeasure. And at one point in the 4^th quarter, she tugged the hood of my hoodie and asked me where I got my mask from. At least I had some value to her.

But she coughed loudly multiple times, and the only time I ever saw her wear a mask was after the game, when she was leaving. Then the lady next to me sneezed one time, directly into her hands, and then laughed about it. I was mortified.

Also, can I ask why it’s ALWAYS the case that the people complaining about having to wear masks are the same ones who talk about how involved they are in their local church?

But what about the game? The opponent today was Louisiana Tech, and this particularly rivalry is called the "Rivalry in Dixie." Before this game, Southern Miss had an advantage in the series of 34-16 despite having lost last year at Louisiana Tech. I’ve already mentioned that it was expected to be close. Southern Miss got the ball to start the game and drove down to the 24-yard line but stupidly chose to go for it on 4^th-and-7 instead of kicking the field goal. So Louisiana Tech got the ball and scored a touchdown. Nothing so far had gone over well for the people around me. But early in the second quarter, the home team managed to find the end zone. Then they went for two, for some unknown reason (I’m assuming this is because this was the head coach’s first game (after the previous coach resigned after the first game of the season!) and he wanted to make an impression on the team and the fans), but it failed. It turned out to be a costly error in the end. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Later in the second quarter, LA Tech got a field goal as the Southern Miss defense had finally shown up. Then on the next drive, the first play of the drive saw a 74-yard touchdown run by the home team to give them their first lead of the day. This time, however, the coach opted for the PAT. And that’s how the first half ended, with Southern Miss ahead 13-10.

(One thing that is unique here is when the PA announcer says that it's a Southern Miss first down, the crowd is obligated to respond, “To the Top!” (emphasis on TO and TOP). I had seen the abbreviation SMTTT around campus, and now I know what it stands for.)

Prior to halftime, the momentum had shifted to the home team, and it really showed when they came out for the second half. The Southern Miss defense got an interception on the second play of the half, and the offense took it in for an easy touchdown in a single play. Then the defense forced another short possession for LA Tech, followed by another Southern Miss touchdown in less than 4 minutes. The home team was up by 17 points halfway through the third quarter. Some of the fans started to leave, thinking this was a done deal. Wrong. Louisiana Tech’s offense came alive after this, scoring two touchdowns in the third quarter (one of them thanks to an interception giving them a short field). Those who were still in the crowd—the majority, to be fair—were getting uneasy.

The fourth quarter consisted primarily of three drives: four minutes by LA Tech that barely made it to midfield and zero points, six minutes by Southern Miss that ended in a field goal (for a six-point lead), and a five-minute drive by LA Tech that was bonkers. So many timeouts, and a couple of Southern Miss penalties early on that kept the drive alive. Seriously, if they hadn’t missed the two-point conversion in the first half and had kicked the field goal instead of going for it on 4^th down on that first drive of the game, they’d have been up by ten with no worries at this point.

Everybody was holding their breath as LA Tech went for it on 4^th down at the Southern Miss 4-yard line with 14 seconds left. Louisiana Tech passed to the back of the end zone, and though their receiver caught the ball, the ref said he caught it out of bounds. When he signaled that it was no good, the Southern Miss fans erupted in wild cheers of joy. But the LA Tech fans were calling foul, and the replay booth decided to look it over. They played it on the big screen, and as soon as it showed in slow motion, the LA Tech fans went crazy (the few of them that were there), and the Southern Miss people said things under their breath. A minute later, and the ref confirmed what the new evidence had shown: LA Tech had made the touchdown. With the PAT, they would be ahead 31 to 30. They made the PAT.

Many people started to leave at this point. Fourteen seconds left, what can you do? Turns out they were right. Southern Miss got the ball, and they decided to throw it downfield and then lateral it to see what would happen. Again, a poor choice. They did get it about 30 yards, but that was still over 45 yards short. FINAL SCORE: Southern Miss 30, Louisiana Tech 31.

Definitely the better game of the two that I’ve attended this season, in terms of excitement and overall gameday experience. It helped that this game was in a stadium located on campus, with more people, and a more dedicated fan base. But I swear, the level of concern for spreading disease was much lower than it was at the last game. Is that because of the location, or because of the growing “normalness” of this pandemic?

Afterward, it was a quick walk back to my car, which was still there. And a very quick ride back to the interstate and to my hotel in Laurel. The next morning, I headed back to Georgia. My only stop was in Tuscaloosa (boo!), where I filled up with gas and stopped at my favorite addiction, Whataburger. Then it was straight home with no problems. If only all road trips were this easy!

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