Day Nine

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The kids have arrived. At 2pm the speakers boomed into life. 'All counsellors to the lodge, campers incoming!”. Twenty minutes later, three buses pulled up, unleashed a squirming mass of energetic children, and pulled out again into tranquility. Choas ensued. Campers with bags twice as big as them stumbled towards the sign we had drawn up to welcome our group of campers. Staff yelled, campers yelled; the tannoy crackled. Slowly the bags piled up, and the chattering campers converged into their groups.

We went down to the cabins, and met the campers we'd be assigned to. They rushed in, and within seconds our beautifully swept and unpacked oasis of calm was turned into a battlefield, with the sort of destruction only possible by a ten year old boy who has been trapped on a bus for seven hours (or perhaps a low grade nuclear missile). We promptly left the hut for dinner.

The process for dinner is as follows. We go to our allocated table, and wait for everyone to shut up. This takes a while. After this, announcements are made and hats removed. Then a very serious grace is said – typically 'dear god thanks for the food... and can the yankee's beat the red sox tonight!!”. Having paid this sincere respects to the omnipotent, benevolent being believed responsible for the creation of the infinitely complex universe, the billions of unique creatures living within it, the moral and natural laws (and the outcome of sporting events) we are called up by groups to get food for the table. The kitchen staff help us out in this by only putting enough food on each tray to feed about two and a half people – so one must go up three or four times for 'second helpings' to be able to actually feed everyone. The children then fight to secure the food, plates, cutlery and cups. Periodically, one dashes up to the 'juice' (read high calorie sweetened, flavoured and chilled water) machine to mix and match the twelve or so flavours – the most suspect of which is 'blue raspberry'. Frantic shovelling of food (and as many cups of coffee I can manage) is then crammed into the brief window of time before tidying commences – which takes some time given that the kids operate a subconscious 'one spoon for me, two spoons for the table' policy. Everyone then tumbles down the hill, back to the huts and had 2 minutes to get ready for the evening activity.

Come evening I was exhausted, and relieved to see that the job of being in loco parentis has been delegated to the Nintendo Corporation; and their double screened box of wizardry. Entertainment aside, the box also provides the best incentive for a child to do something he doesn't want to do. namely 'do it, or i'll take it for the day' – who needs 'positive reinforcement?!'

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