Home?

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Some discontent has been shared about how I never "officially" returned from Nairobi. I apologize for not updating my blog, but let's be honest...nothing too exciting happens to me in med school. That said, I finish my 2nd year (out of 4) this week and then progress to take the STEP 1 Board Exam and take a year break from med school to earn a Masters in Public Health (MPH). Yes, I'm going to add another year of school, but it will be worth it and my reasons are best saved for another place & time.

So, you might be wondering why I've chosen to update my blog today of all days. Well, first, my exam doesn't start until 12:30 and I'm just sitting here twiddling my thumbs. Next, I went for a run this morning. Finally, I've had some thoughts and questions running through my head over the past month. Two words are the theme of this entry: reality and home.

Reality. I went running this morning through the Missions Hills area of KC this morning. It's a beautiful area with rolling hills, golf courses, perfectly manicured lawns, sweeping & majestic homes, etc... It made me sick to my stomach (or maybe running up the hills did that, I can't be sure). I've thought a bit recently about reality and, honestly, this life we live in the US is a bit of a fantasy land. Very few people in the world live as we do. I'm sure you've heard the statistics about "xxxx number of people live on less than a dollar a day." And I'm sure you've heard that so much that you, like me, have become numb to that stat. The bottom line is that great inequalities exist all around us whether in KC, McPherson, St. Louis, Greenville, Nairobi, Ascuncion, Guam, Cairo, Mumbai, Khartoum, ... Great injustices occur every day around us whether on Southwest Blvd, Grand Ave, in Sri Lanka, in Darfur, ... What can we do about it? What can I do about it? Is it enough for me just to be aware? Is it enough for me to attend all the events in the KC area that I can to hear from real "Lost Boys?" Or should I sell everything I have and give it to the poor? Or should I just ignore it and live my life? Or should I just try to succeed in my life and try to make as much money as I can? Or maybe I should just stop asking these questions and focus on my exam in 2 hours? I'm sure the answer lies somewhere in those questions. I'm just not sure where. All I know is that currently I'm not living in reality. Someday I will.

Home. A lot has changed since this time last year. New babies, new house, new friends, new knowledge. Among those changes was Dad & Mom moving to Greenville, SC. I think it's fair to say that McPherson is not the same "home" that it used to be. Neither, though, is Greenville or KC or St. Louis. Looking back at my first entry from Nairobi, I said that when I arrived I felt like I was home. That statement rings more true now than it did back then. In light of not having a home here in the US, I feel that my home is in Nairobi, or maybe Umri, or maybe Kandahar...just not here. I hope that nobody is offended by that because I still love McPherson and KC and Greenville dearly. They just are not home. Well, enough rambling. It's time to prepare for my exams.

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