RIHLA #15

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Twenty-six things I want to do before I'm twenty-six:

1) I want to learn to let go of the past. Holding on to all the hurt that I've been put through, all the pain-filled years have just taken a toll on me. A smile never comes by easily anymore. I want to wake up one day with all the pain offand shoulders and be able to smile just because I'm alive. I want to be able to look back eventually and not feel like I'm about to drown. My past is dark. I want to become stronger because of it.

2) I want to grow one single white rose in my backyard right over where my first pet was buried. This one is kind of hard to explain. A white rose is so pure-- completely untouched by the evil around it. But, for being a rose, it wilts and dies after such a sort period of time. I feel that a white rose is the perfect symbol for childhood. And when my kitten die in my arms, the first time I ever truly was face to face with death, I feel as if my white rose died. So I'd honor my short childhood and my first pet in this way.

3) I want to cry in front of all my enemies. Wow, this is a weird one. It's not that I want their sympathy or pity--far from it. I want them to see that I am so sure that nothing they can do will ever hurt me in any way. I will let them see me at my weakest just to show them that I'm not scared of them seeing my weaknesses. I know I'm not perfect. I know I have a lot to hide from. But I'm not going to hide anymore. They can think and do what they want. I'm moving on with my life.

4) I want to save someone. I don't mean in the whole superman-to-the-rescue kind of way. I mean in the they-will-alway-remember-me-and-think-about-how-I-touched-their-lives-in-some-significant-way type of way. I just want to know that I made a difference in someone's life. I've always believed that a persons life doesn't have meaning unless someone else in the world finds meaning in it. I want my life to have had meaning before I go.

5) I want to sing a song of peace among people who have only known war. I want to let them know that they is more to life than guts and blood. Life may have a dark side but you can't ignore the bright side either. You have to look on the brightside sometimes. It's the only way to move forward.

6) I want to trust people for a whole day. Trust them completely. I am so tired of just keeping everything in and never letting people see my--the real me. I want to give everyone a glimpse of someone they've never been given the opportunity to know. The person I never let them see.

7) Skydive

8) Dance under the cresent moon

9) Love myself

10) Get my fish a mate

11) Go to Thialand

12) Swim to the deepest part of the sea

13) Buy a dress I'll only wear one

14) Become an aunt

15) Buy a dog

16)Read 1,000 books

17) Find a soul mate

18) Teach kids something new

19) Bungi jumping

20) Record a song

21) Climb a montain

22) Fly in a blimp

23) Backpark through Europe

24) Get married

25) Go to Hawaii

26) Cut all my hair

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