Heading somewhere fast

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I had been waiting for years for something to come along and wake me up, and I didn't even know it. I spent my days plugging away, working hard, struggling to finish school, get a good job, and then. . . and then what? In September 2010 I realized that I had no idea what I was going to do after I did all of the things I was supposed to do. I also came to the conclusion that I wasn't happy. I worked as a waitress to put my self through college. And after changing my major, and my mind, several times I was still there 8 years and tens of thousands of dollars later. I was miserable. I suddenly became restless, and angry, and emotional. I knew I had to get away. I just had to go somewhere, anywhere, get out of my routine and do something different. Maybe I would figure something out, maybe even find myself. As cliche as that sounded I knew it was what I needed.

I have always believed that I have lived a life blessed with a special kind of good luck. I have never really talked about it until now. I have known a kind of luck that brings you what you need, when you need it, even if you don't necessarily know that you need it. "The universe provides" is something I have said many times. Now I guess, after thinking about it, and after reading some literature regarding travel, coincidence, and personal journeys, that it's not really luck that I have been experiencing all along, but a kind of order, a path that we all follow that brings us to the things we need. I believe that I have finally stepped on the right path. I guess it's sort of a granola, hippie, "things-happen-for-a-reason" way of looking at things, but being a believer in something is better than believing in nothing.

Anyway, I thought about the times I had been really happy. Hiking Mt. Katahdin in autumn in Maine, driving out to Michigan or Tennessee to go music festivals, waking up in my tent in the White Mountains in New Hampshire on a cold morning. I wanted more of that. I needed an adventure. The day I signed up for a volunteer trip to South Africa made me nervous, but I knew I was changing my path. I understood a trip like that would effect me, but I had no idea how intense the impact would be. I spent almost month and a half in several different countries in southern Africa and it changed me so much that when I got home I quit my job, sold my stuff, packed my car, and drove to Florida. For the first time in my life I had no plan, no idea what I was doing tomorrow, no job, no classes to attend, no money, and It was the most freedom I have ever felt. It was reckless, sure, to quit my job in this economy. In fact it is nearly suicidal, but I couldn't return to my old life. I was scared to death, but I left everything behind because I felt the time was right. I know this all sounds a little neurotic and mid life crisis-ey, but who hasn't wanted to quit the shitty office/waitress/tele/sales job, leave the daily grind behind, and go traveling? There's a little wanderlust in everyone, I think.

I don't know where my path will take me, perhaps Hawaii, or Australia, or South America, but I know it will be radically different from the path I was on. I also know it will be a hard journey. There will be good days and bad ones, but in an endeavor to continue traveling I will be happy seeing beautiful new places, meeting amazing people, and making memories. I will walk on down my road, and I will be smiling . . .

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