Will you people please step the hell off

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When I travel around the world, I try to do things the local way. It's a shame everyone doesnt. I would appreciate it if the rest of the world would figure out the concept of personal space. Hispanics crowding up on one side. Asians on the other. Sorry old Japanese man. You would not have gotten hit if you were not standing in my butthole. Is 6 inches of space really too much to ask for? Its bad enough I gave up my fast passes to ride soarin and decided to go on and stand in the 80 minute long wait, just so I could go on and get it over with. We all have to stand here. I may appear to be a wall because you are a tiny little asian and I am a very large american. But I am not a wall and I do not want you all up on this. Back the fuck up. You can stack your family on top of each other and still not be big enough to take me down. Unless, of course, if you all really are ninjas.
That may or may not be the end of todays racism.
Today was just another typical day of disney. I should make an attempt at figuring out how many days I have spent at a disney park. Its alot. A hell of a lot over the last almost 4 decades.
We left Jax beach around 8am sometime. I wanted out earlier. But oh well. After grabbing some good ol Chick-Fil-a for brkfast, we drove straight through to Epcot. The wifes only request seemed to be to ride Soarin. Getting it over with in the beginning was the only sure way it was going to get done. We grabbed fast passes for it as soon as we got there. But they were not good until 430 in the afternoon. After riding the boat ride in The Land, Eating an over priced lunch in France, A pina-colada in Morroco, Riding the Mexican Small World Boat Ride (I know that isnt the name of it. But that is what it seems like. I dont know, or care, what it is really called.) and walking farther than I really had any intention of walking, it was still hours before the passes were good for Soarin. We decided to go on and just wait in the hella long line with people from all over the planet that obviously never went to a public school on the northside of Jacksonville where they could have learned the hard way what happens when you just keep crowding up on someone.
I was nice enough to give the fast passes to what I think was a gay couple that looked very upset that all the fast passes had been given out.
Soarin is pretty cool though. I just wish Disney could figure out a way to get people through it quicker.
We left EPCOT after Soarin, then went to Animal Kingdom where I reached an all time low on the scale of laziness. Did you know it is only 12 bucks to rent a wheelchair at Disneys parks? I didnt either. If I had, I probably would have reached this all time low much earlier in life. But my foot hurts like a mother fucker and I really needed to get off of it. Dont judge me. I had no idea wheelchairs could actually be so much fun. Sorry about running over the kid. But if I paralyzed her, she can now have the same fun I was having. Its also a great workout for the arms. Now my foot AND my arms hurt. anyhoo. The kid (mine. not the one I ran over.) and the wife rode Dinosaur while I chilled in my new Rollin Lazyboy. Followed by dinner at the rainforrest cafe. $15 for a bacon cheeseburger might be the stupidest thing I have ever seen. Thanks for the gift card, Merrill Lynch.
With that, today is over. We are finally crashed out in a much swankier hotel than I expected it to be. I'll never understand why the nicer hotels always charge for wifi. I dont understand why anyone charges for it. But I flirted a free promo code out of the desk clerk. Now I can write this and upload the inappropriate pictures I took at the parks to facebook.
Special thanks to the Longhorn fan that actually let me take her picture. Go Gators.
From the Happiest Place on Earth (as long as you are not standing in my butthole)
MLB out.

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