I'm Not 17.

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Dear Friends and Family,

It's been awhile since I've written. In some ways I'm sorry for that, in others - you're welcome for me not loading up your inboxes 😉 To some, I just added you in order to provide a long-overdue update that I've promised multiple times. Feel free to remove yourselves and to hate me for violating your privacy 😉

These 2 months have been fascinating, despite my imprisonment in my own boredom and frustrations with feeling like I've grown down and not up... the fact of the matter is, I'm not bored thanks to working literally 7 days a week and having this elaborate schedule that spans over 5 different jobs that I am working. And the truth is that, by returning to my roots and starting over, I've made one of the more mature decisions that I've made in awhile.

At least once a week, often more than that, I actually have to consciously remind myself that I am not in high school. I am not 17. I've had to tell myself, out loud, "I lived in Boston for 4 years; Europe for 3 months." And the realization of that is sometimes shocking to me. It's all surreal in some light.

Being back in Colorado and depending on my parents for transportation, food and other financial support has thrown me back into many of the same mindsets that I had during high school. In short, it seems as though none of the last 5 years ever happened. When I WAS 17, there were times (many, many times) that I wished that I could just go to bed and wake up in my 20s, skipping over all of the clutter in between. Granted, I'm glad that that DIDN'T actually happen as my experiences during that time were more valuable than I ever could have imagined... and yet, it feels like it DID happen. In just over a month I will be 22 years old. I'm waking up 5 years later.

Strange things make me miss being in Boston. The weather may remind me of some day that I walked down Huntington. Someone's tone of voice may remind me some friend or mentor. Some song may come on that I haven't heard since I played it WAY too many times one day while folding laundry... Some inside joke that I had back then may fly right over someone's head and I'll just chuckle to myself. Will I find myself back there again someday? I certainly hope so. But, I have no idea in what capacity nor when that may be.

For the less philosophical update: 5 jobs. 7 days a week. Lifeguarding, teaching group swim lessons, private swim lessons, tutoring math (yeah, I'm laughing about that, too) and assisting in a 7th grade classroom. My bosses at the Rec Center just offered me a Head guard position (not too unlike an SRA position...) which may throw all of that into an interesting twist. I'm counting down the days until I have my sub license, I just don't know how many days I'm supposed to count. But when that goes through, my schedule will likely reset altogether. My social life is all but nonexistent, but I'm fortunately working with great people and am developing those working friendships that I like so much.

Despite not getting paid for it, I really like going down to the middle school. I'm there two days a week and I spend the entire day with one teacher (I mentioned her in one of my previous posts). Working with her is fabulous because we have wayyyy too much in common. Her teaching style, therefore, has taught me - not a whole lot about HOW to teach, so much as that my own teaching style would work. Her humor with the kids, her approach to the subjects, her passion and interest in the quirkiest things. It works. And I've also seen her deal with things in a way that I probably would, which is teaching me to maybe reevaluate how I might handle certain issues. That's all very vague, but I don't really know how better to describe all of that. It's just been really great and I'm thrilled to wake up early on Mondays and Fridays to go!

Anyway, that's that for now. No, I'm not back in any classes just yet. I'll need to be soon so that I can teach legally. But, we'll also see how long my drive for teaching lasts, as I may find myself with some deep passion for something completely different in just a few years - it wouldn't be the first time. I'm not opening or closing any doors with this path... just going with what fits on the road that I'm on. For the moment, I am excited about teaching. I like what I've seen and feel that it's something that I could get really involved with. But, we shall see what steps are to come.

I hope that this finds all of you well! Please use this as an excuse to send along your own updates!!
Boston folks: I'm looking at March. No guarantees yet, but I'm looking at it.

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