Peter and Dinh's Travel Tips

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Tip No. 12 (or whatever, I lost count): If your driver has missed your exit on a major highway in Vietnam, do not panic. He will simply stop in the middle of the road and reverse a couple hundred feet back to the correct exit. He will not care that there are cars, trucks and mopeds heading straight for him because he is sitting in the front and they will have to plow through you and your family first. He will completely ignore your screaming, moaning and whimpering because you are a stupid American who does not realize what a hassle it is to go another mile and turn around.

Tip No. 13: When you get off the overnight bus in Malaysia to go to the bathroom in some hole in the ground (really) at 2 a.m., make sure you are awake and know which bus you were on. Alternatively, make sure your husband is awake to know that you are not on the bus. Because there will be 12 buses that look almost alike when you are half asleep. You will wander on to the wrong bus...multiple times. And when you finally begin to wake up and realize that you do not have your bus ticket with you, do not know the name of the bus company, do not have your passport or any other form of ID with you and have only about 20 ringitt (=$6 USD) in your pocket, you will begin to panic. Your panic will reach a fever pitch when buses begin to pull out of the parking lot and you realize you may be left in the middle of nowhere in Malaysia with no money, no passport, and no pork products. You will run around creating a scene, trying to prevent buses from leaving. Malaysians of all ages will wonder what the crazy Chinese girl is doing and be glad their daughter/mother/sister did not dare to go in public looking the way you do. Finally, some woman will ask you if "you are with the American (i.e., white) guy." You will say, "yes" and she will show you the bus that your snoring husband is on, which was right in front of you the entire time.

Tip No. 14: Beware of dating a girl from Hong Kong. Her bark is not worse than her bite. Because she will bite you. Literally. On your arm. Or your shoulder. Or somewhere worse. They will not be hickeys or love nibbles. They are actual bites with teeth marks. Of course, you will not be bitten unless you are as succulent and tastey as our friend "J" is. J is now looking to date only girls who leave scars that cannot be seen. (By the way, J is a very eligible single attorney who is used to being abused by women so if you are interested, email me).

Tip No. 15: Do not attempt to review your accumulated mail when you come back from a long trip. It is better to adopt a new identity and start over.

Tip No. 16: Do not expect the food in developing world countries to be as good as the food in the U.S. They may know how to cook, but they do not have the quality ingredients that we have. That is why they are thin and we are fat.

Tip No. 17: Do not tell people that your mother-in-law carried thousands of dollars in her underwear and then tell them you do not want to talk about it further. They will ask questions.

Some serious tips:

Tip No. 18: www.wotif.com is great for hotels in Asia and Australia/New Zealand. Much better than Asiarooms.com or Expedia and Travelocity.

Tip No. 19: If you are ever in Singapore, stay at the Hangout @ Mt Emily. It's an awesome hostel with double en suites, free internet, flat screen tv, book exchange. It's well designed, practically new, really clean and cheap, cheap, cheap. Singapore has 85%!h(MISSING)otel occupancy so reserve early.

Tip No. 20: If you need travel insurance, check out World Nomads. It was the cheapest we found with all the coverage we wanted.

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Comments

[Clark]

Tips
Dinh, you are hilarious!!! :) c