Did the Earth Move For You Too ?!

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Tuesday 29th July, 2008

It happened at 11:42 am. Paul Wood, the company Chief Executive had minutes earlier arrived in the office from his Princeton, New Jersey base as part of the company’s ongoing goal to achieve OSHAS accreditation, an internationally recognized standard for health and safety management. His task for the afternoon was move around the office quizzing workers individually about their knowledge of the company policy with regard to all things health and safety and all morning staff had intermittently been quizzing each other from the double sided list of questions from which they’d been told his questions would be asked, like a bunch of excitedly worried pupils at exams time. No one wants to look dumb in front of the boss, even less as though they couldn’t be bothered attempting to avoid looking so.

I was sat in my pod working on a project tracking matrix (impressive huh) thinking about how long I could delay my sardine salad lunch and wishing I really had a large plate of bangers and mash when I felt a strange sensation almost as though my guts were rumbling out of control. I seriously thought I was having a funny, almost hallucinogenic turn and within what seemed like seconds but which was actually probably a hundredth of a second I became aware that it wasn’t in fact my intestines but that I was experiencing my very first earthquake. For a couple of seconds my eyes opened wide as I sat dead still staring at my screen and without wanting to sound like a cliché my life flashed before me. Of all things, I thought, I come out here for a change of life and within two months am terminated by an earthquake, that’d certainly start some conversations back home.

After a couple of seconds what I initially thought was my rumbling tummy had progressed to a constant droning noise like the warning growl of a dog about to have his bone confiscated as things literally started to move. We are on situated on the ground floor of a three storey block, a lot to collapse on top of you I thought as I stood and immediately noticed Kiku, the marketing officer of Japanese descent on her hands and knees beneath her desk. She should know. A tall filing cabinet in David Kirby’s office, situated around the corner and out of sight crashed to the floor increasing the worry tenfold as other bangs started to happen all around.

Three or four seconds in and a mild form of mayhem was starting to take place as people came to the realisation of exactly what was happening. Paul came to the door of Phil’s office and we exchanged WTF looks then Phil appeared behind him beaming like a Cheshire cat, no doubt more in shock than in mirth. I returned the grin and stood waiting for the ceiling to start collapsing on my head.

How ironic that the CEO was here to quiz us on emergency procedures and within minutes of arriving found us firmly in the midst of one. Trouble was there was no procedure for earthquakes on our list of questions. Some people were saying to get out into the open, Corinne, who’d spoken to the security guard who had popped his head through the door to check if everyone was okay at the other end of the office was saying to stay. Eventually, after about nine or ten seconds the grumbling and the shaking ceased and everybody looked at each other agahst.

Van Lee, the tiny IT girl, her smile showing not the slightest hint of concern asked me if it was my first time. “I’ve felt the earth move before but never like that” I replied. She threw me a high five and we walked out into the sun where everybody was stood desperately trying in vain due to saturation of the air waves to get a cell phone reception to call love ones. I knew mine wouldn’t even be aware of this and moved we moved en block to our emergency congregation point in the car park. At least that was one less question we’d have to worry about.

After ten minutes we returned and the web informed us it was a 5.8 earthquake that had occurred 29 miles to the east of here sending vibrations more than a hundred miles around. After forty five years on the planet I can honestly say this was the most surreal moment of them all. Just another part of the rich tapestry of life.

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Comments

[Lise]

I know we are finding humour in this, but O and M where on their own at home, scared to death!, I feel like the mother of the year! Oh well, all in a days work. Good (accurate) description of events there Matt.

[Waymo]

Funny that I had a strange rumbling in my intestines at that time aswell, fortunately for me it was only my trousers that moved!

[DB]

I really want to write a sharp,witty comment here but inspiration has failed me.

[Dut]

Matt, did you get all your questions right?

[Matt The Pig]

Cancelled.
The bloody test was cancelled 'til Thursday ! Why ? All cos of a poxy earthquake !