Week 2 in NZ

After beasting ourselves on the farm in the first week, I turned my attention to the research paper I was writing with Chris, David & Matt out here. We had a productive week and still managed to put up another 50 metres of fencing before heading on back to summertime.

So, 600 saplings planted, 150 metres of fencing laid, a research paper ready for its second review, one game of soccer (in goals, only let in 4, nice!) and 2 great weeks with old chums. Job done. All good preparation for the next comedy moment on my trip...

So Let Me Tell You About My Flight From LA to JFK

Reflecting on 2 great weeks back with the New Zealand crew, I once again took my seat on the plane in LA, and noticed a gorgeous bird boarding the aircraft. Well there’s no chance she’ll sit next to me I thought… until…
“Sorry I’m next to you” she said, gesturing for me to stand up and let her in.
Sorry? Huh, you will be when you hear my chat I thought?
So, eager to strike up a conversation, I spent 40 minutes planning my

Nice wagon

The Undi 500 - where 100s of cars (all valued at unnder $500) travel from Christchurch to Dunny for the hell of it. Unfrotunately, yet again this year's celebrations ended with rioting and street fires and about 70 arrests. This may be the last Undi 500 to hit Dunny.

line, before I finally blurted out "Business trip or holiday?" - which actually sounded more like “bumphneff fliff or hooaallanaay mmmph?”

The girl turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in New York." Once again I nearly choked on my tongue. Not only had the cutest chick I’d ever seen sat next to me, she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs, and she apparently could understand the language of a man with zero control over his tongue.

I counted to 10 (which took about 3 minutes) and casually asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Presenter,", she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

“Really?" I smiled, wiping the drool from my chin, "What myths are those?"

"Well", she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed, when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are

Melanie Cerys Button

The bright new Button.

the Irish."

Suddenly she looked uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry", she said. I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!

"Tonto", I replied, "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."

Until next time…

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