Fear and Loving in Catalina: Part Two

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“A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” ~ John Steinbeck

Packing became a chore. I was still having mild anxiety about the thought of travelling on a zip line. Eventually, we had stuffed the suitcase and had everything prepared for the next day’s adventure. I was unsure about anything at this point. I had missed the 24 hour zip line cancellation fee and realized that this would have two options: I would do the zip line or I would do the walk of shame. To make sure my “fake bravery” stayed in place, I watched YouTube andvimeo videos of zip lining. This time, I was closer to getting to know that feeling. Bobby was pretty cool with the idea of watching more videos. Who knew that so many videos existed on zip lining experiences. Still, the imaginary line in the kitchen that I had created was a far cry from the reality of standing on a platform. As we drifted off into sleep, I would have the same recurring fear pop into my head. What if the poles collapse? What if the line breaks? What if my harness breaks? Before I knew it, the “what ifs” became a constant narrative playing on a loop in my head. Even when I tried to “pause” the thoughts, I couldn’t. I waited for sleep and thought about the positive things that would be experienced the next day. Each time I looked at the clock, it was only 15 minutes later.



The next morning, we went through our travel routine. We moved the luggage and guitars into the car, along with the bag of essentials that always appear on a trip. Before we knew it, the car was moving towards downtown Long Beach. I think we both skipped breakfast that day and opted for a more seaworthy meal: bloody marry and pretzels. The ocean was calming and cold. It was a good thing Bobby had loaned me his Pink Floyd sweatshirt. I nursed my bloody marry while Bobby nursedhis. The ocean was slick and not many waves graced the ocean. The boat roared as its engines moved like muscles pulling the boat forward to its destination: Catalina Island. The pretzels were salty and crunchy, a delicious mix ofcarbsto get the day moving forward. I wasn’t paying attention totime, I was still convinced that within the next two hours I would squarely be on the nightly news as a death on the zip line had occurred.



That feeling in my stomach started to rise. It was festering, a soul crushing disease that blocked me from the adventures that my soul craved. Flashback to the conversation where I insisted that this would be a great birthday present. What was I thinking? Apparently, my desire to overcome something was greater than my reality at the time we booked the trip. The boat’s engines hummed in the background and the island inched closer. Eventually, what was a shadowy object in the distance was an oasis, it was our destination. We arrived and I forgot about the zip line for a while. We walked to the hotel that was a few blocks away. The pedestrians moved in and out of the main drag, carefully avoiding the golf carts that rolled by. The hum of traffic was missing and replaced by the sound of golf carts whizzing around the streets. The first step was to find the location. Bobby and I started laughing as we envisioned our own “Amazing Race” moment. In this task, couples must zip across a mountain to their destination. I was smiling and feeling a bit more confident. We checked in our luggage at the hotel with the nice young man at the front desk. Thankfully, we got to check in early and enjoy the extra few minutes in the hotel room to get ready for the zip line adventure. I had switched from fear temporarily to fix my hair into a style that would not get tangled up while flying through the air. 😉



As we set up the room for our overnight trip, I could feel my heart pound. Was I really about to jump from a platform on a mountainside?

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