Next Step

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I came to Prescott Arizona for a two week visit. I have been here four and to say it has been a life changing experience would be an understatement. As I sit here on the eve of a trip to the Grand Canyon I have a desire to be articulate about what the loss of my mom has meant. All I can manage at this early date is to let the wave of sadness wash over me. Time will have to be given its due before meaning can be understood and then shared.

What has carried me over these last few weeks is the wave of support from all of you in my circle. I went on this trip to become intimate with solitude and develop my independence. What I have discovered is the breath and depth of my interdependence with those who know and care about me. I want to thank you all, and let you know I am buoyed and a little humbled by the outpouring.

I would like to write a tribute of my mom for all those who have held her in your hearts and prayers during her last hours. Maybe the best tribute I can give is that the positive traits that you see in me are rooted in the gifts she gave me.

Because I still carry those traits I carry her with me as I move forward. The best thing for me right now is to spend time in nature. Being sandwiched between the wet Northwest and the snowy East I can think of no better place to be then the sunny Southwest. (Okay I could not help a little jab.)

Moving forward I am headed, with pop-up trailer in tow, to the Grand Canyon and Lake Powell. Since the trailer sleeps 6 and I am only one it seems a little overkill. The main reason is the heater that comes with it and the fact that it will get close to 20 degrees at night. The other reason is that I think pop-up trailers are cool and I have always wanted to camp in one. Given my luck with mechanical things on this trip let’s hope it survives me.

Next week I will be passing back through Prescott and should have some good stories to share.

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Comments

[Kitty]

I can't get over how much you look like your mom....something about the eyes, the smile. You are definitely of her. Enjoy the Grand Canyon - rest in nature and let grief wash over you as you begin to move forward again.

[Alla]

Thank you for sharing
Bryan! I am so glad to hear from you again. I am thinking of you a lot and sending you light. (feeble that it is from dark grey Tacoma) Good journey in your pop up 6 sleeper. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart with me still. I am sorry about your loss. Be well. -a

[Christy]

Room with a view
Brian-I know there are no words of consolation except that you are in our hearts. Soak in the scenery as you reflect. I know there is no greater perspective than the one that comes from the great outdoors. It would seem that the pop up with provide an excellent view and I look forward to getting a glimpse of it in future messages. I miss your face. -c

[Aunt Barbara]

Isn't she cute
That picture of the beautiful child is the way I remember her. Seeing it gave my a good cry. I miss her.