A buffet at twenty knots

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This was a good week. Our feeding began on a quiet Sunday afternoon after returning the rental car that Mom had rented for her week in Vancouver. "Yours is that one" the Avis shuttle-man said, pointing at a huge (but relatively small) cruise ship, the Norwegian Sun. The first stop, of course, was the buffet, which was open from something like six in the morning until ten at night.

There is something wonderful about seeing mountains, whales, seals, and icebergs - while stuffing your face. It reminds you that man truly has conquered nature - and then defied its laws of evolution by thriving while becoming so fat we couldn't outrun a turtle. When we managed to look up, the scenery was truly spectacular. The boat weaved its way up the passage between Vancouver Island and the mainland, stopping at various souvenir shops with city halls. Mom and I got along like gangbusters, I couldn't imagine a more accommodating and pleasant travel partner.

Cruise ships attract a mixed bunch, if 'mixed' can be used to describe a crowd almost entirely over fifty. The experienced cruisers usually have Disneyland shirts stretched far too thin over their bellies, distorting the mouse into some kind of gorilla. But mostly you find very pleasant people all of which are on vacation and looking for good conversation. Every day we would meet different people and come up with nicknames to help us remember, like Mr Mouthwash, the burly but funny elderly man who smuggled vodka on board in a Scope bottle. Good times.

The ship was never asleep, complete with surprisingly good song-and-dance shows, great comedy, and quaint trivia hours held at one of the many bars on board. Mom and I fell into a nice routine, with her of course waking early and sneaking out to get coffee and to let me sleep, followed by me waking, going to get my first smoked-salmon-on-an-english-muffin, and wandering around salivating until I found her. We would sit and gab, waiting patiently until our "let's pretend it's noon" beer. I think we were both had our better expectations confirmed and our less pleasant worries melted away early on about each other's company. She is 'good people'.

The scenery was great, the food abound, but without a doubt what will be remembered most was the week I spent with my mom... eating.

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