Crafty Casino Mamas Come to Ketchikan

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After nearly a week of fantastic weather, we arrived in Ketchikan and could see that the weather was foul. We made our way to the Lido for breakfast, and again, French Toast seemed to be the preferred choice. Sharon’s blight of chocolate croissants finally came to an end; although there was just one when she first checked the pastry section, I came back with another two after I had finished eating. Sharon’s mom had said she didn’t want one, but after eyeing that one left on the plate, she finally couldn’t resist. She did complain that there was only a paltry amount of chocolate in hers; while, Sharon shrewdly chose the one with the double dose.





We were a bit early getting off the Oosterdam for our tour. Before the gangway, they were making sure everyone had their jackets on and umbrellas ready. It was raining and the gangway had a steep descent which caused my mom to hold on with both hands because of the potential slipperiness. So one of the attendants came by and escorted her the rest of the way down. We couldn’t spot our bus, or anyone holding a “Totem Bight and Lumberjack Show” placard for us to spot. When we got to the assembly area, we were in a light drizzle, enough that my umbrella came in handy and those without umbrellas sought some sort of overhanging shelter. Sharon and her mom decided to explore the Christmas Store just across the street, but they came back rather quickly. We were really wondering about those on the “Flightseeing Tours” because this weather didn’t seem to be ideal for that; but, they weren’t being cancelled. One of the guys selling independent flight tours said he had live cameras showing the weather was great in Misty Fjords. After some busses pulled away, a burly young guy in red and black plaid lumberjack garb appeared holding the placard we were looking for; and, the reason we didn’t see our bus is that the lumberjack show was down one small block and over one block from where we were waiting.



As I’m writing this down, I’m sitting in the Delta Sky Club Lounge in the Seattle airport. The last two days were quite jammed packed, and time just slipped away, with so much to do. As I’m typing this, my flight is just over ten hours away, but I’ll talk more about the reasons for that in today’s disembarking blog two days from today’s entry. When I gave the girl my one-day complimentary pass to enter the Sky Club, the girl mentioned “You have quite a wait.” “Yes I do,” thinking, at least I will get my money’s worth for getting that Delta Sky Miles American Express Card over one year ago. We had planned to use the free passes on our International flights to-or-from South America, but our time in the airports left too little time to even find the clubs. It is over three hours before I can check in my bag, with is in temporary storage in baggage claim.



We were among the first to show up at the Lumberjack Show and Store, featuring things such as incense burning log cabins featuring various wood aromas, little wooden axes that are handy for lumberjack contestants to autograph and scores of Alaskan themed trinkets. The girl graciously volunteered to get two chairs for Shirley and my mom, so that they could sit down and be near the wood burning stove. We had to wait quite a while before they opened the door to the show area, which is also where the concession stand and restrooms could be found. Fortunately, when we entered, we found the grandstand area, arranged in two opposing sections was protected by an overhang, so that the seats and audience remained dry. In front of these, was the lumber mill pond, two tall buckskin logs (barkless) in an upright position (such as telephone poles) and some log sections for chopping and cutting contests, and two log coins (round thin cross-cut section) painted with bulls-eye and concentric circles for ax throwing. The MC was renowned for always having a toothpick in his mouth. He informed us that we were in the Americans cheering section, while the audience opposed to us was in the Canadian’s Camp. There was a running comedic comedy and raucous rivalry that drew the audience in and thoroughly entertained everyone from 5 years of age to 90. It was one of the highlights of our mother’s Alaskan cruise experience… dining, as it turns out, for the most part was not one of their highlights, mainly because of their less than adventurous palettes. We lost the whip saw competition, but our ax wielder is one of the best in the world, and beat his opponent by over one minute in both of the ax cutting contests. After the whip saw defeat our champion challenged the two opponents to a second contest using a single handled saw. They agreed, and the MC allowed it, noting that there is a single handled whip saw; but, our lumberjack came out with a chain saw. The opponents were allowed to make a safety-cut (back-and-forth twice). Our lumberjack then made his safety cut, going half way through the log. The MC informed him he didn’t get a safety cut. Needlessly to say, the two on the whip saw easily beat our underpowered short chain saw. We also lost the hot-saw contest, which is very nearly painfully loud. It appeared to be a tie, but our contestant didn’t cut of a clean coin, his saw cutting more of a wedge. He was disqualified.



Our guy was one of the top two tree climbers in the world; but, he appeared to slip on the slick buckskin on the way up. Despite doing a free-fall from about thirty five feet up onto his back, landing on the padded cushion surrounding the base of the pole, he wasn’t the champion today, and we were woefully behind. After each contest, a token, such as a wood chip from the contest, or wooden coin piece from a cutting competition was given someone, usually a child in the front row in the winning team’s audience. The MC kept reminding people of the Lumberjack Show and Store’s “No Return” policy. In the second to last competition, four logs were arranged across the full length of the pond, end-to-end and attached on the ends by a threaded rope. One team member ran across the logs, and our team member ran back, and then they both did it again. Next, the rules were changed allowing only two seconds after one runner crosses, before the next runner must start across. This can mean that the logs may be bobbing or rolling at the start. On our opponent’s second attempt to cross, he lost control and went in the shallow pool allowing us to end the drought. We started out winning the log rolling competition, and I gathered that our guy normally wins this one as well; but, he lost the next two in a best of three competitions. After losing the second of the three, he appeared to lose his footing, falling what appeared to be a quite painful fall with one foot on one side of the log, and the other foot on the other side. Sharon was convinced that this was a real accident, but from the comedic banter that followed about what just happened, I suspect this was part of the show and great entertainment.



It was clear that the Canadians had won. And one of them came out to demonstrate chainsaw art and planned to carve a rabbit out of a short log section. First he cut a V-shaped notch, and then what might pass for ears appeared. The MC then looked at what he had done, noted the ears, but did not seem impressed with what was supposed to be the face. The lumberjack, agreed to add some enhancements, such as whiskers, scratching out a few nicks on either side; and, then decided to add eye brows, or more correctly, a uni-brow. There was a lot of discussion about the uni-brow and in the distraction; the saw seemed to cut most of the way through, ruining the rabbit. But then the artist noticed that if you turned it upside down and set the rabbit on its ears, you had would might pass for a small chair for a child… the accidental cut formed the seat, cut most of the way through, to a sliver slanting up forming the back of a chair. The chair was awarded to a small girl in the first row of the Canadian team, and after confirming with the girl’s parents, that she could have it, he reminded them of the “No Return Policy”. When the show was done, he thanked everyone for coming, and especially the little girl’s parents, who he said, get to enjoy lugging that thirty pound chair around for the rest of the cruise.



We walked back to the ship, and then climbed on a bus to take us out to see the totem poles at Totem Bight. We learned that a bight is a section of the coast that appears to have been bitten out. When the tide is low all of the water is gone and the natives would go down to get the clams, oysters, etc. Then they would be replaced when the tide came back in. Our guide called it their “Supermarket”. We learned how the native Alaskan society was organized into clans; such as, the Eagle Clan or the Bear Clan or the Thunderbird Clan. Your clan is determined by what clan your mother is in (being the same as hers). Tradition requires you to marry someone in a different clan. Totems document some historic event in the clan. Style of the totems varies from clan to clan. Those in the Eagle Clan often have an eagle figure at the top, and then a long stretch of the totem with no carvings, and then detailed storytelling art only at the bottom; while, those in the Bear Clan will carve intricate figures all the way up, topped by a bear figure. Those in the Bear Clan deride the Eagle Clan for not having anything to say; while, the eagle clan says the Bear Clan talk too much. We visited a totem house featuring four identical totem posts topped by massive beams. The wooden walls were meticulously hand hewn without western tools; yet, the uneven wooden surfaces are incredibly splinter-free. The head of the clan would reside at the far end upper tier, furthest from the single small door. This afforded those inside the maximum security (even a woman could club an outsider trying to enter on hands and knees). Status within the clan determined where you might sleep (e.g. children on the lower tier). Many totems were being assembled here at the totem park, where their beauty is being preserved by duplicating the art. Earlier restoration efforts had added colors to the totems, not native to the region, such as whites and yellows. The only indigenous totem colors are a rust-red, a black, and turquoise. Paints were prepared by a painstaking effort involving chewing up dried salmon eggs, spitting out the result and mixing it with pigment material, such as ferrous oxide. I don’t think any in our group would have made very good clan members. But Shirley made a face that cause the guide to laugh and we tried to tell her she’d have to paint something before we could leave.



The advantage of our early start is that we got back in time to have lunch in the Vista Dining Room. On our trip about Ketchikan we had our eye out for Ketchikandies, that makes Show Host Alex’s favorite Chocolate Covered Oreo Cookies. He offered extra luck to anyone who brings him some of these cookies, or at least a bonus card for who says the password “Ketchikandies” while purchasing chances for today’s bingo game. My mother ordered the fruit plate without any cottage cheese. I ordered the grilled shrimp quesadilla which was unique and quite good. I followed that with the ginger chicken soup. Sharon and the moms ordered the beef dip sandwiches; but, I’m thinking you can pretty much get those any where, and there a places in Ohio that due them with prime rib… I’m just saying. I had the blackened tilapia tacos on corn tortillas. What I had was delicious, but it was served more as a tortilla roll… not quite a taco, and not quite a burrito. I understand why you do it that way: you wouldn’t serve a foil wrapped taco in a fancy dining room, which is really the only other viable option. What they did serve was delicious. Everyone enjoyed their beef dips. Shirley then had the butterscotch sundae, while my mom had the banana pie, and Sharon and I enjoyed the white chocolate crisp coated in chocolate served with raspberry compote. It was delicious; but, I’d have preferred to skip the raspberry part, which at least wasn’t overwhelming.



We had to rush up to the Crow’s Nest for Team Trivia. This is the first cruise that we’ve been on in which there is not one dominant team that wins all of the Team Trivia Challenges, and we’ve been in the top running for some of these. In fact, our difficulty this time has been coming down to the Bonus Question… if we’d gotten that in any of the previous games, we would have won… Oh well. Sharon and I have actually done quite well between us. We both should have been able to name what two animals are found on the Australian Flag. Everyone should correctly guess the kangaroo! But then what do you do, there are so many to choose from, e.g. ostrich, emu, koala bear, dingo, to name just four. When it came to the bonus, we both knew the answer to this popular Team Trivia question that we’d heard more than once before: Since 2002, what fast food franchise has the most outlets in the world? McDonald’s is the obvious most popular choice, but this since 2002 is a clue. I’m pretty sure that it would have been McD’s ‘before’ 2002, so why make this distinction? KFC is opening a lot of outlets in China, so we may need to keep an eye on them. The answer, in fact, is Subway! Well, we got the bonus, but still just missed out on winning. The other answer, I’ll give you a hint, it was a flightless bird whose name starts with a vowel… still stumped… and ends in a vowel! And I use it on a logo associated with some work I do (Sharon tried really hard to get a picture of me with an emu when we were in Australia a few years ago)



We took an express elevator all the way from the Observation Deck to the Main Deck. We’ve started to sit on the left side for visibility, and maybe to change up our luck as well. Sharon and I are in a profound dry spell. Others seem to win quite easily (and often). The regular bingo first game came and went in less than ten calls. The second game was a small picture frame, and Sharon finally got to stand; just not first. And someone called bingo on the very next ball. I thought I had a good chance in that game, I had the first number as a solution on five cards, and the second number on three cards. Sharon was playing one three-card set, and her mother one three-card set, and I was playing one six card set for both my mother and I, as she only wanted to play one three-card set for the final blackout or coverall game. Well nobody won today’s $75,000 jackpot, and worse, we failed to win yet another bingo game.



We had some time before mass to kill, so we decided to take our moms to the casino and have them try their luck at the slots. I had to go get some crisp money for the slot machine, which kept rejecting my $10 bill. The machine also did not require my mom to register or setup a password. We finally got it to start playing. It took a while to figure out how to setup the game of how much and how many we were playing, but we finally got it to play for 25 cents per spin, which is what my mom wanted. I have no clue what constituted a win on this machine, but when she got three-in-a-row starting from the center left, I thought that should be a winner, and it was; albeit, a small winner. She had played down her bankroll to about $9.00, then managed some small gains and risen to about $11.00, and then she hit some sort of 10-spin bonus. Everything was happening without any action by my mother. Then after about 3 of the free spins had expired, it was prompting whether you wanted to “Lock in” (e.g. by pressing “Lock In”). I took this to mean that the gains were at risk, but I could find no “Lock In” button. Then 3 more spins seemed to happen automatically, and again it inquired about locking in; and again, no “Lock In” button could be found. In the end, my mother got all 10 free spins, won a little bit of money on each of them, and when she was done the machine congratulated her “You sly dog you!” My mom’s bankroll had grown to $19.45 and I asked if she wanted to quit while ahead. She seemed thrilled to have won almost $10 is just a few minutes. Meanwhile Shirley was getting working through a bunch of free spins on her machine too. When she had exhausted them her bankroll stood at $19.47, also having started with ten bucks. She decided to quit just ahead of my mom. The moms were quite thrilled to both be winners. Sharon and her Mom then headed off to mass.



We had to expend some effort getting dressed in our formal wear, and Shirley had been complaining all day that she didn’t want to get all dolled up, and wasn’t going. Sharon kept assuring her that she looked fine. I’m pretty happy this isn’t a longer cruise because my clothes are really starting not to fit. Tonight is the traditional ‘Surf and Turf’ night which I enjoy, usually second to last night of the cruise. I started with the traditional escargot, if you love garlic and butter, these are a must… I’m just saying. Okay, I was the only ones at our table for six that ordered these, and our tablemates had a mild look of disgust on their faces. My mother had the papaya fruit plate, and also the mushroom soup. I think she hit the trifecta with this meal, three things that she actually likes. Pre-Sharon, when I lived in California, my mom and I (and Ron also) would go to Souplantation for what I called Mushroom Monday, the one day you could count on the Valencia Souplantation to feature Mushroom soup, which we all really enjoyed (even Ron). Okay, Ron no longer likes to go to Souplantation, but it’s not because of the mushroom soup. This mushroom soup in the Vista Dining room featured 4 types of mushrooms: oyster, button, shitake, and one that I missed. This soup was extremely good, rich and creamy, and I think the best that I’ve had cream of mushroom soup on HAL. Sharon got adventurous and ordered the Green Apple Vichyssoise. She enjoyed this first-time soup for her, taking a chance, but seeming to like many of HAL’s cold soup selections. I tried a taste of hers, and it was quite refreshing. Sharon and I both ordered the Surf and Turf (with the understanding that I get her Surf portion). Her mom ordered just the turf, but for some reason the waiter thought she wanted just the Surf; but, Sharon corrected the misunderstanding, or we’d have had one unhappy mom. My mom ordered the chicken entrée. For dessert, I decided to go with the encore of the banana crisp that I’d enjoyed earlier in the cruise. In retrospect, I probably should have chosen something new, and could have gone with the Gold Rush Baked Alaska made with espresso ice cream to which I could have added a caramel topping. The girls all ordered this with white chocolate fudge topping, and felt it was one of the best desserts of the cruise. My mom is a big coffee drinker and likes coffee ice cream, and my wife is a coffee ice cream aficionado. On our honeymoon she tried coffee ice cream (or gelato) from every port that we visited.



We had enough time before the show to get some formal pictures taken, each of us with our mothers, and also as a group. They managed to catch us smiling, with our eyes open, and engaged the mothers enough to get them to stand for the pictures… which Shirley really didn’t want to do. In the end we wound up with some terrific pictures that we will treasure forever, remembering this time we had with our mothers. We had such a nice dinner with the other couple who joined us that we didn’t get out in time to make the show. My mom was ready to call it a night. We’ve had a busy day, and another busy day again tomorrow. I escorted her to her cabin, and she turned if for the night. Sharon and her mom made their way to the Piano Bar, waiting for the Name That Tune game. I decided to play blackjack. I had another very rocky start, quite a stretch of not winning two hands in a row, and things appeared to start getting better. I pressed a bit and managed recoup my losses and actually post a slight gain. As bad as things started, I should have quit and joined my wife at that point. But I played a few more hands, and things started to go very badly… but I was making minimum bets and I decided to ride it out and try to recoup the loss again. When I got to the critical hand, I had eleven against a four, and doubled down my big bet. If I win the bet, I recoup what I’m down with a small gain, if I lose it’s a big loss. I drew a three and the dealer turned over an ace. Dealers holding an ace seldom bust (just over 10% of the time). He hit a deuce for a soft-17 (which this dealer must hit, so all hope is not lost). The hand is still soft and that is bad because the dealer gets another free hit. This time he got another two and I was done. I tossed the dealer a buck, thank-you very much, and left to find my wife.





The Name That Tune from the 1970’s was nearly over, and there were three answers Sharon and her mom couldn’t answer. 1950’s or 1960’s or Country are more Sharon’s forte. Still, she managed half of the answers. The eventual winner had 95% in this ten question song and performer quiz. We went back to our cabins to turn in.

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