Perfecting a lazy day at the beach in Turkey

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So….. we sort of got stuck in Olympus.

After getting over the first night in the bird explosion dorm at grungy Kadirs, we knew we were happy at Bayrams Tree houses thanks to a wonderful gay bartender from California named Tyler, a chef who made sure I had lots of gluten free food, amazing Turkish staff, and for $17 a night a clean and warm dorm, breakfast and dinner.
We had planned to stay 3 nights there, but then we had a couple days of crap weather and felt we had to give it a few more days when the sun came out. Every day we kept meeting new cool people, and suddenly 3 days had turned into 7… and it was Saturday night again.

We had met some cool London girls and a couple from South Africa who I adore. Adrian has a crude sense of humour like me and has hilarious stories, and his girlfriend Lauren won a special place in my heart. We were chilling on the beach and they explained how they had been introduced by a mutual friend in London. Lauren was planning a trip to India, and since Adrian drives a motorbike, she invited him to come with her, rent an Enfield, and get to know each other.

They weren’t officially together yet when the trip started, and she had already been in India doing some yoga and eating some Indian food. He showed up, they are at a restaurant looking at a map, and she decides that if she just leans to the side a little, she can let a silent fart go. Instead, she rips one sitting right next to him. No one in the restaurant batted an eye, except for Adrian who she said was rolling on the floor laughing – his response was “now the floodgates have been opened.” 5 years later they are still together, I fell in love with them immediately.

We decided to stroll on down to the Bull Bar at Kadirs for some Saturday night fun. We showed up (with a couple of kiwis and a British girl with a broken foot in tow) and we doubled the population of the bar. However, 20 minutes later and about 100 Turks showed up and we had ourselves a party. The next 3 hours I had a riot dancing my tush off around a bomb fire, making Eng laugh her ass off with my Singles Ladies impersonation. We had one of the loud British boys dancing with us all night – it was so much fun. Then the cops shut the party down at 2 am.

While waiting for the music to come back on - my British dance partner saying he could lift me. Eng warned him not to test me, but 2 seconds later I had him over my head doing a fireman carry and twirling him around in circles. After I had bashed him against a tree I dropped him on the floor at which point Eng busted out her best Mortal Combat voice with “FINISH HIM.” I think the Surrey boys now know I am not to be messed with. We have been invited to theme party when I am back in London – should be entertaining.

The next day we were feeling a little hung over, and when the weather turned a little too cold to beach it, we didn’t want to go back to the hostel to chill and be fat. Instead, we decided to finally go to the chimera (the eternal flame). Nightly there were buses of people who drove the 45 minutes each way to hike up to see pockets of gas seeping out of a mountain – with eternal flames. greek and roman story goes that a chimera is a half lion half goat thing that breathes fire.... clearly i paid attention to the description on the billboard.

We decided to walk the 7 km to the flame, popping in random shops along the way. By the time we were on the last km up the damn hill we both had the alcohol sweats pretty bad and did not give a damn about the eternal flame. When we got up there I decided it looked fake – like someone had just set a fire on the rocks. There are pockets all over the hill, and some boys we met managed to extinguish one by peeing on it. We weren’t overly impressed but it only cost us 3 dollars to walk and see it compared to the $18 the tour costs.

On the way back we saw a turkey on a homestead and I wanted to have my picture with it. While I was getting my camera out of the bag, the turkey started coming at me. I thought it was funny – Eng made a dash for it, but the turkey started zig zagging towards me. I was getting a little nervous and though charging it might scare it away. Nope. Then I started swinging my bag at it – to no avail. It was coming on full force and I had to sprint onto private property and come out through a break in the bushes (meanwhile the thing was still coming at me). Funny now, but not so funny at the time. I freaking got chased by a turkey in Turkey.

That night Adrian and I got burned at the dinner table. We were talking about which Scandinavian country had attractive people – he said I should go to Denmark because the men are hot there, but the country is void of any hot women. My response “apart from one Danish girl I know who lives in London, all the Danish people I meet are sooooo BORING.” Ya…. 10 minutes later we find out that 2 people within earshot are Danish. Seriously… when do you ever meet Danish people?

It was a sad day when the South Africans and the London girls left. But thankfully the people watching on the beach got us through it. There are loads of Russians hanging out in Olympus – and they like to wear neon bikinis and teeny tiny Speedos. My fave had to be a girl and her boyfriend (probably 22 years old) and the girl’s mom walking together down the beach. Mom and daughter had matching string bikinis. Eng’s response “I would kill my mom.”

Everyday we had new Russians (and sometimes Turks) doing a beach photoshoot in front of us. Seriously, I don’t know why everyone judged us for staying so long. The beach in Olympus is hilarious. Even the guys got into being all sexy – one particularly windy day Eng had me do a little photo shoot of our own. There I was getting blown away and she is giving the me bitchiest art direction ever.

Oh – I also did my good deed for the day when an older German lady came and asked if we could help her with sunscreen on her back. As a solo traveler, I hate being on a beach and being in that situation. While I applied the thickest sunscreen ever to her larger back, Eng got a full frontal on her extensive pit hair (and corresponding non-manicured bikini line).

One day we visited a woman’s home who specialized in traditional weaving. She showed us pictures of traditional costumes and she had a collection of very old headscarves and items that were stunning. She was so lovely and didn’t expect anything of us.

By this point we had given up on trying another beach along the coast. We figured out that we could stay an extra few nights and still cram in 2 sightseeing things, and when the staff offered us stay 10 nights, 11th night free we were sold.

Sadly, by the last week new guests thought we actually worked at Bayrams. I would go in and out of the kitchen to get my GF specialty foods, I was helping one kid with learning English words, and Eng was a resident drinker near the bar. There was another person there as long as us – an American from Idaho who recently ended a marriage and came to Turkey to find himself. (insert Sharman sarcastic voice).

He was nice, but a little dry for me.. and eventually creeped me and other women out. Also – we had an incident about 5 days in. Every night they make a fire (it still gets really really cold in this valley at night). The staff were more than competent in tending to the fire. But Idaho had to get in there with the fire stick and muck it up. One night he was poking around so much that I was getting sprayed with sparks.

Sharman: “Noah, please stop doing that.”

Noah: poke poke poke in the fire.

Sharman: “Seriously, I am getting showered in sparks, stop it.”

Noah: poke poke poke in the fire. “Oh come on Sharman. I am giving you a show of what our Fourth of July fireworks look like.

Sharman: (snaps) “I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR STUPID AMERICAN HOLIDAYS. GIVE ME THE DAMN STICK” (Sharman proceeds to grab the metal fire stick, Noah doesn’t let go. I use my ass/hip check him, steal the stick, and throw it over the benches and out of the fire circle.

The crowd went quiet while most people tried their best to not burst out laughing. Two McGill boys had to run away to peel with laughter, while Noah glared at me from the other side of the fire. No one touched the fire stick for over an hour. Seriously, it is like summer camp there, people were talking about it for days.

On Thursday we had to say our goodbyes to the Bayrams crew . It was an amazing 12 days in Olympus, but we literally had to go (and I was over the rock beach, it was wreaking havoc on my shoes and my feet). Our departure day was far from exciting. We caught a 20 minute mini-bus to the main road, then a 90 minute mini-bus to Antalya.

We had 40 minutes before we caught the express bus to Denizli (this bus had a bus attendant serving drinks and snacks wearing a bowtie). Then we jumped on another minibus to Pammukale – home to the white travertine pools. This UNESCO world heritage site has gone down in recent decades do to water shortages due to the tourism boom. We didn’t have time to climb up them so instead we walked around the base and took pictures of the people who had spent $15 to see them from the top.

In total we had 1 hour in Pammukale where we viewed the weird salt/snow like mounds, and then bought a rotisserie chicken which we ate on the bus with our fingers. (When people ask me if I saw Pammukale, I can say I saw it).Another 4 hours and we arrived in Selcuk. Our hostel had a kitten that loved me, but the dorms were in the basement and a bit cold and damp. Thankfully kitty found me and crawled inside the blankets to keep me warm.

Friday we got up and set off for Ephesus – the best preserved classical city in the Eastern Mediterranean. We were so short of cash that we actually shared a headset for the audio guide. Highlights include Eng taking my photo in one of the 30 Asian tour groups we saw there, my photo of some Asians pretending to squat over the latrines in the roman toilet, and people watching all the hilarious tour groups though the roman city.

After 2 hours we had enough and caught the minibus back to town. We had our last afternoon together walking around town, eating, and chilling with the kitten. Eng had me repack my bag and give her all the crap I am not using to take back to Lon. Theon girl is ruthless and made me justify everything in my bag, but it is lighter now so I am thankful for her. She is taking an overnight bus to Istanbul tonight and flying out Sunday back for London.

As for me, we had a tearful goodbye at the train station. After 3 weeks I finally found a good deal in Turkey. I paid less than 3 dollars for a train ticket to the airport in Izmir. Unfortunately, my flight out of here is at 5:55 am, and there are no buses/trains that can get me here in the morning, and I was not about to shell out 70 dollars for a taxi at 3 am from selcuk.

Instead, I am writing my blog in the waiting area while 4 Turkish children drive me mental by screaming and sitting too close to me. I am going to try and sleep on the chair for a few hours until I can check in at 3:30 am.

For my last meal I got take-away from the Kebab house, and I enjoyed a roasted eggplant dish with dolmades and a dollop of dill yogurt. Now, I just have 8 hours to my flight to Vienna… and a new adventure.

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Photos

London babes
note the russian couple in the background...she had spent 20 squeezing things on his back before he flipped over.