Tequila, Iguanas and Sombreros.... I am in Mehicooo

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Benous Diaz!!! After 10 days we leave Mexico to head back to the grand US of A. I am so keen to get back to the USA, there are so many things I have missed about it already, not that I didn’t have a good time in Cancun/Playa Del Carmen, there were just a few issues that really stressed us out.
First of all the plumbing; I am not sure how appropriate it might be to share these stories but the plumbing in both of our ‘5 star’ hotels was shocking. On one occasion the toilet began to overflow with diluted urine (will not mention names, but it was not me) and actually reached the bedroom floors. Melissa’s solution was to simply close the toilet lid…. Who is a dumb bitch? And Kelle’s aka Keller or Helen, thought it would be smart to keep on flushing, worsening the situation… who is a dumber bitch? On other occasions when we thought the toilets had flushed we would be in for a rude shock to find out otherwise! Thankfully Michael had a solution, always flush immediately after, and then after every 2 servings of toilet paper.
As you may be aware by now, our so called ‘all-inclusive’ 5 star resorts were anything but, more like 3.5, this was a little disappointing considering the amount of money we had actually paid, but at least all of our meals and alcoholic drinks were included. Just a word of warning to anyone considering these ‘all inclusive’ resorts, I suggest you re-consider, I am so over hotel food and buffets, I felt so claustrophobic, going to the beach in the hotel, going to sleep in the hotel, going to the bar in the hotel and then having all our meals there… I feel I didn’t get a chance to go see Cancun that much, so in Playa we agreed to go out to a restaurant, and surprise, I got sick…
Now onto the good stuff, before I start sounding like Melissa (we call her miss complaining, she complains about everything… if we are on a tour it’s too long, and too structured, if we have a relaxing day shopping and swimming by the pool, we’re not doing anything. The rooms are too crowded, too hot; too cold… you know it… HAHA, Michael does some funny impressions). We went to Chichen Itza, one of the new seven wonders of the world, and whilst it was a long bus ride out from Cancun it was well worth it… the ruins were stunning, there were iguana’s everywhere and fluro coloured butterflies, it was very hot and very humid but that didn’t stop us roaming around the beautiful ruins… One of my favourite travel experiences, so far. We went to Tulum as well, on another day, and that was a smaller version of Chichen Itza but on the beach. Imagine a pretty golf course over a Caribbean ocean cliff with ruins everywhere; that is what it looked like.
My other favourite things about these two Riviera Mayan Cities would be the exotic animals, the culture, the people, the artworks and defiantly the beach at Cancun. I worked out that Melissa had spent almost 150 USD on photos with animals alone, we swam and played with two dolphins and took photos; Espania and Lucas were the dolphin’s names. Espania was an old JOOOOANNN and Lucas was only little, both very adorable, both very smart and friendly. I imaged a dolphin to have dry, plastic like skin, but they feel so smooth!!! We also took photos with many birds, thinking of my mate Wallis who hates birds, Tucans, Macaws, Cockatails so forth, and we saw Flamingos, my new favourite animals. There were also baby monkeys, cannot begin to describe how cute they were, they were about the size of our palms and drinking milk out of a mini bottle. And of course there was the snorkelling, forget the fact that we snorkelled in the 2nd largest reef in the world, the Berlize Barrier Reef, or the fact that we met some very friendly Chicago folks who took a photo of us after meeting us for 10 mins, the highlight was Keller! On Both occasions Helen made a scene, he refused to take his shirt off on the account that he might get sun burnt, he’d lung into the water making the most heinous noise, and you’d always know if he was behind you because the fish, who would be peacefully swimming, would instantly rush off in the opposite direction, as Keller would doggy paddle towards you, splashing and yelling and breathing in the most un usual way with his eyes WIDE OPEN… On the second occasion he gave up after 5 mins and just started floating around the Caribbean in his oversized life jacket, earning the nickname the wandering Helen.
At night however, Kelle went from the wandering Helen to the dancing Helen… Coco Bongo is ALL the RAGE, and quite possibly the best night club I have ever been to. It’s huge, you pay around 60USD and you get an open bar, all you can drink, there are amazing show productions on a really high stage, people dancing on the tables, on the bar, on the floor, everywhere. The roof would let off some confetti, balloons, glitter you name it. Upon entry we all got tequila shots from the door waitress and we managed to get Helen to drink two tequila shots, well 1.5 technically, since he was shaking and shook ½ the tequila out of his first shot… Danielle aka Stiffy, Daniel or Plain Jane would only take one stern sip. We danced, and danced, and Melissa drank and drank… and then come 12:30 it was time to take a very drunk Powers home. She befriended many in the club, got rather close to their faces if you hear what I am saying, but when in Mexico, do as the Mexicans do I guess.
Anyway, I’ve ranted enough, I did like Mexico, and don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I had high expectations for this place… I lost my Gucci sunnies in the jagged Caribbean ocean (btw I love the beaches here because the waves are so intensely rough, so much fun) and Mel and I got charged almost 80 dollars for using an ATM, but little things like the amazing lesbian cab driver we had one night, and the dance music pumping in the streets, those amazing corpse bride dolls they have to celebrate death and attempting to learn Spanish was a cultural experience I’ll never forget nor regret. Adios Amigos 

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Photos

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Chichen Itza

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chillin' on the beach

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on the lagoon

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the Berlize Barrier Reef

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pior to our dolphine swim

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Iguana