i am the fattest man in chiapas

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Notes

June 6, 2010

Mexico City International Airport

6.30am I’m having a donut at the airport in Mexico City. “From Dusk ‘til Down,” dubbed in Spanish, is playing on the tv. I’m having trouble staying awake.

7.00am The first thing I noticed when I arrived in Mexico City was the 7-11 in the airport. There are several 7-11’s in the airport. I didn’t check to see if they have the quarter pound “Big Bite” which has made the chain a solid choice in more than one country. Actually, I remember going to one in Tokyo. The last 7-11 I went into was in Arlington last year. There was a long line when a guy runs in and goes straight for the register. “Let me get some condoms, quick.” “Which kind?” the clerk asked. “Any. Just give me the biggest ones you’ve got!!!” Everyone let him pass. He was in a hurry and had more important things to do than putting old chili and gooey cheese on a hot dog.



8.59am I just want to be on the plane and then on the bus and then on the bed in San Cristobal de Las Casas. I had a coffee about 20 minutes ago.

The high is wearing off.

There are lots of big booties in Mexico City.


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My first day in Mexico has been really tiring. It included getting stuck in a bathroom for 30 minutes.

I took the 12.45am flight from JFK Saturday night and barely slept on the 5 hour journey. I got to Mexico City around 5am, knowing that my connecting flight wasn't for another 13 hours. I tried to see if I could get on the 6.25am flight but got there just a bit too late. If I had printed my ticket and had it handy, I could have taken a little metro to the terminal instead of the bus and made it one time. The next 3.5 hours were some of the longest of my life, but I made the best of it. I used a Mexican toilet for the first time. I watched some of "From Dusk 'Til Dawn." I took advantage of the free 15 mins of wi-fi at the airport. And then, about 40 mins before the flight boarded, I passed out hard. It was for only 40 minutes but it felt like I was asleep for hours.

The only exciting thing about the flight is that I got bumped up to business class for some reason. I had the second bologna and cheese sandwich in as many flights that day.

When I got to Tuxtla-Gutierrez Airport I went quickly through the security gates, so I didn't have a chance to see if there was a currency exchange. I had about 50 pesos on me. The bus that goes from the airport to San Cristobal was $160 pesos, or about $UD15. Everywhere in Mexico City Airport you could pay with American cash so I didn't even think about exchanging more money. The lady working with the bus company said they only took pesos. The only company that took dollars was a private taxi service. $60!!!! But I had no choice. I could have sold my body to make up the change, but I don't think I wouldn't have gotten too much.

The ride was about an hour and it was all uphill, most of it on one winding road. I started keeping tabs on how many VW Beatles I saw but I stopped after 24.

I got to the hotel and immediately thought, after almost getting hit by lightning outside, about taking a shower and then sleeping. it was barely 1pm. I went to the bathroom and noticed the door didn't close all the way. For some reason I pushed it shut, even though I'm staying in the room by myself.

I christened the toilet. I went to open the door and realized that the handle wasn't fully connecting to the. It wasn't "locked". The knob was just not working properly.

So I'm banging on the window shouting, "Is there anyone here who can help me???" I felt embarrassed but there was nothing else I could do. Finally, a nice lady named Olivia came to the rescue. Luckily I didn't lock the door to the room. She came in and I asked if there were any kitchen knives. She slid one under the door. I could tell that I needed another utensil. Perhaps a salad fork? Just kidding. I needed another knife. She took one more steak knife and a regular one and slid them under. I finally got the door open.

After a very short nap and a shower I went to look for the central area. The main thing I needed to do was to get to a bank. I got to the central plaza where the cathedral is and looked around for a few minutes. I go to the ATM and didn't find the wallet in my pocket. I left it back in the room. I was really hungry and had $12 pesos, but I ended up giving it to a lady with one hand. I got back to the room very tired and very hungry. I started dozing off and felt like I was in some weird state of starvation where the more I got hungry the more I got tired. I think I slept for an hour and then headed back out.

This time I took the main road to the central plaza, the Real de Guadalupe, full of bars, restaurants and little shops. Lots of Europeans and not as many hippies as I thought there would be. I've heard about the hippies there. I only met one, a guitar player at the restaurant I went to.

First I went to a tour agency and got tickets for a trip to some indigenous villages tomorrow and to the canyons on Tuesday. I still hadn't eaten so I went to a tacos and margaritas place. I'd heard that it was somewhat touristy, but the food was good. I drank a local beer in about a minute or two because of how thirsty I was. I can't remember the name of what I got, but it seemed like tortilla chips covered in a red sauce. The chicken was really good. I normally hate onions but I finished everything on the plate.



A group of little kids came by selling some ceramic animals for 10 pesos. I said I'll take one, and the girl immediately said she'll give me 6 for 50 pesos. I only had about 40 pesos in change so I bought 4. I've heard that these are the kids of the Zapatistas, making money off the tourists to support their families. They are good business people. They know you have money because you're eating at a restaurant where, even though it's very inexpensive by your standards, is out of their price range. This is also where I met the guitarist. He said something about saving money for a taco before the show he was supposed to play at. I told him I had no change. The little Zapatists, yes. The struggling artist, no.



Finally, I got lost in the rain on my way back. It didn't help that I was carrying two huge water bottles and some toilet paper that ended up getting wet.

The main thing I learned today is that I'm pretty sure I'm the fattest man in San Cristobal de Las Casas, and I really felt that people were staring at me. Especially the kids, but what can you do about that? They probably thought Santa Claus was on vacation in Chiapas. Also, I haven't traveled alone in a while and remembered that it can be a bit intimidating at first.

Tomorrow I'm off to San Juan Chamula.

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