Sunday was the worst day of my life.

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I woke up at 0430; the taxi was picking me up at 0500. I got to the airport at 0520, up to this point everything was going perfect, too perfect. I waited in line to check in and the agent told me she can actually put me on a direct flight to Mexico City instead of having a layover in Atlanta. So I said why not, the less layover the better, right? WRONG! Oh boy was I ever wrong...

She told me it was Air Canada that had the flight scheduled, so I proceeded in waiting again in line at the Air Canada check-in. After 15 minutes of waiting, the agent told me my name wasn't in the system yet, and that it usually can take up to 10 minutes. So I took a seat, played some Solitaire on my phone to pass the time.

After a few, I looked at my watch and it was now 0615. So I got back in line, again, after 15 minutes, the agent still says my name isn't showing up in the system and that the Delta Airlines floor agent was looking into this. He told me "Wait here, I'll see what I can find out". I looked at my watch and the time was 6h45. I had 1 hour left before my original plane departure. After waiting 20 minutes, the floor agent came back and told me "sorry, the system is overloaded and we appear to have misplaced your booking, unfortunately the Air Canada flight has closed and you wont be able to get in. I can put you back on your original flight but you'll have to hurry. It’s taking off in 15 minutes!”. Worthless jackass…

So I'm running a marathon, with no morning coffee, no breakfast, back to the FIRST AGENT whom I met an hour ago. She apologized and told me to write my name down and the airline will send me 200$ USD for compensation. At this point I was just going crazy, they could have told me I won a brand new Ferrari to run over the agent that put me in this spot, but I didn't care, I just wanted to get on the plane and have a coffee. So the floor agent escorted me through customs, clearance and gave me a tap on the shoulder saying "I hope you can run fast!"... so I picked up both of my suitcases and started running. Thinking how much I hated that piece of shit...no point in thinking about that now. Of course, the gate I was going to HAD TO BE THE LAST ONE! The first number I saw was 71, and I was 88...just my luck.. it had to be the last gate.

As I get to the counter, by now they all knew me by my last name. "M. Campeau the guy said, we've been expecting you." So I gave him my ticket and passport and then he said "You should have another ticket with you, don't you have that too?" I searched through all my bags, and didn't find it. They then contacted the agent who originally put me into all this mess, and that lady who was very nice to me said she had it right in front of her. So I had to wait for it, after 10 minutes the two guys just decided to let me in, since I was delaying the entire plane.

As I get in the plane, I could feel all the angry stares in my direction and I know they were all waiting to see who the moron was delaying everything. Well, it was me! Very proud moment in my life 😊

After calming down a little bit, the plane finally started to move, by now I was just happy to even have made the flight, and I started to mellow out and think about other things. After 15 minutes, the pilot came on and told us the left engine wasn’t starting. So they had to take the plane back to the gate and wait for the mechanics to look into it. “It shouldn’t be long, we expect it will be ready in 20 minutes,” so he says.

After 2 hours! They finally fixed the engine, but it had to be started manually, all crazy thoughts were going through my mind, manually? What if it fails in the air? Who’s going to jump start it manually 30,000 feet up?

The snow started to fall pretty hard, they said we had to hurry if we wanted to make it out of Montreal, it was our only window or else all flights would have to be canceled for the day. Now I was actually praying for this flight to be canceled. What if all that delay was a sign that I had to stay off that plane? I guess I got a little carried away. After de-icing the plane, taxi-ing the plane to the take off strip, finally at 1045 we were ready to take off. Thankfully, it was said that my flight was the last one to take off from Montreal. All other flights had to be canceled due to the severe snow storm.

The flight attendants were keeping us updated on our connecting flights, to know which ones we were booked since all of us pretty much missed our connections from the long delay. When it was my turn, the reply I got was “Oh, you are the only one who we had trouble with”. What the heck does that mean? I had enough trouble for one morning; I didn’t need more of this. Then she said “We could not get you on another flight to Mexico City today, there is one leaving at 1945, but you’ll have to see when we land if there is room available, of course, if you happen to stay the night, the airline will pay for your hotel fees.”

By now, I was just irritated and kind of going crazy with all this bad karma around me. And you’re reading this from a guy who read “The Secret”, think positive! Well fuck the Secret because it’s worth shit! Well it was that day anyway.

I finally arrived in Atlanta at 1330. Of course, my whole schedule got delayed by 3 hours, so I missed my connection flight to Mexico City. So here I go, in the waiting line again, and we were not the only ones in the same boat, the line was 5 times the size of the biggest snake in the world. So yeah, it was pretty big. After waiting an hour in line, the only other available flight was leaving at 1945. Of course, I had to be on stand-by for the flight, so I wasn’t even guaranteed a seat! I had coworkers waiting for me in Mexicali, so I was rushing trying to phone them, email them, txt message them. The last thing I wanted on my mind was for them to wait for me at the airport only to find out I’m not even on the plane!

After an hour, I managed to reach my boss who then sent some message on my behalf to tell them I will be late. I then met a little cute lady called Mireille who was also from Montreal and was going to Mexico City for Christmas. I invited her to eat at TGI Friday’s. We got to talking, we both de-stressed and thankfully it was one of the positive things in all of this god forsaken mess.

So after lunch around 1800, we decided to check at the counter for any available seats. At this point I was so desperate to get to my final destination that I bribed the gate agent with a 10$ gift card from TGI Friday’s. And guess what! It worked!! Haha , not only did I get a seat, but we were the first ones to actually get on the plane. Americans and food, you can’t beat that! Seeing I was now on her good side. I tried to get more information on hotel accommodation once arriving in Mexico City, quoting from what the flight attendant on the MTL-ATL flight was telling me. They said that I have to check with the agent once I arrive in Mexico City. Fair enough, I said, thanks for your help.

So I’m finally sitting in my seat after waiting 5 hours in the airport, and of course I have a kid behind me who kept kicking the seat, thankfully the lady beside me jumped on him before I could, I guess we were two that were utterly tired. The movie playing was Stardust that I’ve never seen before, and it turned out to be pretty good.

We arrived in Mexico City at around 2330, going through the Mexico customs, another 30 mins line up that I had to wait in. I had all my papers ready, filled them out on the plane as I usually do, finally my turn comes up, and the agent tells me I have the wrong paper. “But this is what they gave us on the plane! How can it be the wrong paper?” So he gave me another one that I had to fill out, so AGAIN, go back in the line, ANOTHER 15 mins of waiting, finally I got through customs, and here I am in the main arrival lobby with nobody in sight to even help me get a taxi or even a hotel. Obviously at midnight there are no freaking agents working! I’m in Mexico City here, the laziest place in the world! That lady I bribed played one heck of a trick on me and I would have shoved that gift card down her big fat throat if I had her in front of me.

I’m walking around the airport, trying to find someone that remotely looked like an agent, but these guys don’t look like the same agents in The Matrix. If only they did, it would have been much simpler. I finally gave up, decided to pay for a taxi to take me to the nearest hotel, since my connecting flight to Mexicali was at 0700 the next morning. I was up since 0500, I was hungry, dead tired, in a foreign country, with no idea of where I’m going. I’m sitting in the cab, looking through the window and notice how dirty this city is. If you thought Montreal was disgusting, this city is 100x worse. After all, it’s not only the laziest place in the world, but the most polluted place in the world.

After a 20 mins cab right, the driver pulls into this hotel that looked like it just got bombed by a nuclear war. I told him, forget it, find another place, using body signals pointing down the street saying “no no you crazy Mexican, this looks like a whore house”. We finally found a Best Western in downtown Mexico City. Of course, it was dark and I didn’t see much of the city except the night lights. After checking in, I go up to my room, crash on the bed and noticed how it bad the mattress was. It felt like I was sleeping on the floor of the airport, which would have probably been more comfortable. “No time to complain” I said, I need to get some sleep if I want to wake up at 0430 and catch the morning flight out of this hell hole.
Next morning, I woke up at 0426, barely got any sleep, I requested a wake up call the night before, so they gave me a buzz at 0500. So I packed my things, wearing the same shit as yesterday, brushed my teeth, splashed some water on my face, and got the heck outta there.

I arrived at the airport at around 0530, knowing how airports work now, it was jam-packed and had to wait in line yet again. Thankfully, the line was moving rather fast, and I was out by 0545. Of course, their sense of direction is not like ours, I asked explications on where the gate was and all he replied was “It’s upstairs”. That’s great you Mexican, but where are the stairs!?... if only I thought of that line when I was at the counter…

So I’m walking around Mexico City airport trying to find some stairs, after 15 mins.. I decided to grab agents who were actually working, and he told me I needed to go through clearance. Yay, the line was going in zig zag all over the place, it was hard enough to know where the end and where the beginning was. I got through clearance and it was around 0630. I still had half hour before my flight! I made it!!

Got on the flight to Mexicali, of course it wasn’t a direct flight, so even more waiting! We had to stop at another airport, pick up more people and fly back out. I never heard of such thing, I felt like we were in a bus and we had to make a stop. And obviously, I had two fat Mexicans on my left AND right and I was stuck in the middle trying to get some sleep. Needless to say, it didn’t work very well. My back was killing me, I was trying to think happy thoughts, so I started reading my book on career changes.

I finally arrived in Mexicali at 1030. Taxi drove me out to the hotel, but the road from the city to the airport is heavily guarded by military and it has about 5km of plain scrap yards and dog eating road kills. It was a very nice welcome into this dirty country. I’m telling ya, you could see a roadkill at every 100m. Sometimes it’s a cat or a dog, other times you don’t even want to know what it is. Seems they don’t bother with much cleaning in this city.

I finally get to the hotel, I check in, got to my door, as soon as I slide in the card, the studio manager calls me up and asks me where I was. I told him I just arrived at the hotel. Told me we had a meeting scheduled in 30 mins. I just had the time to iron my pants, shirt, brushed my teeth, splash water over my face and run out the door, no morning coffee, no breakfast. With 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 days, I was as ready as an 80 year old woman playing NFL football. Welcome to Mexico!!

I did the work I had to do, went out with colleagues on both nights since apparently I had to try a few Mexican drinks. The second night, we went to The Rock Station bar where they played really cool oldies. It was a restaurant in an old train cab mixed with a bar at the back. The atmosphere was pretty good. So we ate and then proceeded to the bar. Tuesday nights are 2 beers for 3$, so you guessed it, we started drinking, ordered tequila with Sangritta, some sort of red juice that replaces the salt. Before I know the bar was closing and it was 0130. I had a morning flight at 7am out of Mexicali. Stupid morning flights.. never again.

I get to the hotel at 0200, quickly went to bed to get some quick shut eye. My alarm went off around 0500, since I wanted to get there an hour before the flight. The hotel room was so cold and I was still drunk that when I got up for my morning piss, I decided to jump back in bed. “Just for another 5 minutes” I said to myself. Biggest mistake I made…I suddenly woke up at 0612, 45 mins before my flight! I tell ya, you never saw a guy packed that fast. By 0630 I was in a cab on the way to the airport. The right usually takes 25 mins, but I pressured the cab driver to make it in 15. Thankfully I had a good driver and I got to the airport 15 minutes before the flight. My chances of even making the flights were close to null. But I didn’t intend on staying another day in this place. I was determined to make it back to civilization!

So I get to the counter, as I suspected they told me the flight was closed and I couldn’t get on. There wasn’t another flight until tomorrow. Oh fuck me.. no no no no no I told the agent, I cannot stay here another day! I kept asking her what can you do? Please do something? I can’t stay here, I don’t want to stay here. Finally after 5 mins of just making up shit that I had to get to Canada, the guy beside her contacted some guy and they opened up the flight for me! I was soooooo lucky, the agent again escorted me through the whole process, I gave her a big kiss on the cheek before getting out the door.

This flight was from Mexicali to Mexico City. I hate Mexico City…plus I had a first class seat if I would have been there an hour before the flight, but at this point I just wanted to get on the plane. So they put me in the very last row beside a woman with her kid and a huge fat Mexican, AGAIN! The guy was snoring the whole flight, and I was still drunk from the night before and wasn’t feeling that great.

Thankfully the movie playing was Surf’s Up, and I gotta say it distracted me from reality for a while. We arrived in Mexico City at noon and my direct flight from Mexico City to Montreal wasn’t listed until 1300. So I had to wait again in the airport, I hate waiting not knowing about anything…

Finally, they posted the gate the flight was leaving from, I got there asap just to be sure I wouldn’t have any more bad luck. The flight went well, surprisingly. I met a cool chick named Laurence who was from Quebec City. We chatted and she gave me Mexican candies that taste pretty weird.

Arrived in Montreal, it is still snowing, I had to wait 20 mins in line for a cab, the roads were crap, and there was a lot of traffic, ended up taking me 45 mins to get home.

Thank God, I’m finally home. I can finally relax. Mexico? Not yet please.

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