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Published: January 2nd 2007
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!! Or Bonne année in French
My 2006 ended with an unexpected road trip to Montreal for the weekend with god-sibling Michelle and her non-identical twin Heather (or Head, as we call her), two of the most messed up girls I've ever met. Not a minute went by that I did not fear for my life and I was subject to their anti-Australian taunts and constant barrage of insults. Head's at least 7 foot and her mini-me Michelle, although barely 4'10", is a little violent pocket rocket. I resigned to sitting in the back seat - at least I could see where the punches came from.
We left Toronto around 2:30pm on Friday arvo and it wasn't long before we hit traffic. I learnt a new word -
rubbernecking: the act of slowing down to a crawl at the scene of the accident just to check out what happened, and piss everyone off in the process.
Our first stop was at the Big Apple. No, not New York. It's one of those tacky roadside attractions that you see all around Australia. Funnily enough, they had pictures displayed there of other big things around the world, mostly
from Australia (ie. the big pineapple, big banana, big marino, big prawn). I almost felt nostalgic for a second there. We didn't stay long but stumbled across two wild rabbit showing their love for each other in a public display of affection. I even managed to get it on film - click
here 500 or so kms and 6 hours later, we cross the border into Quebec and arrive in Montreal. Accommodation was all sorted. We stayed at Jean-Sebastien's place, a former workmate of Michelle's. Since we arrived pretty late, we cracked open a couple of bottles of wine and settled in for a night on the couch.
Saturday was "show Vito around Montreal" day. Unlike the others, this was my first time in Montreal. Though I was still in Canada, it was surreal hearing the Québécois speaking only in French. We went to Mont Royal, a mountain north of downtown, with great views of the city. The locals were taking advantage of the snow, some cross-country skiing and others on snowboards and toboggans.
Then we walked around Old Montreal. The cobblestone roads and horse-drawn carriages gave it a nice European feel to the place. Montreal is also
How far am I?
Only 15,567 kms to Sydneya very Catholic city and there were many 19th century churches scattered around the city. We stopped off at a Belgian pub and what a better way to spend a cold winter's day than to have a pint of beer and poutine - hot fries covered in cheese curd and gravy. So good, but so very very bad. I'm sorry Vancouverites, but Montreal poutine shits all over Vancouver poutine.
That night, we checked out a club called Opera. The $15 cover charge and expensive drinks reminded me why I don't clubbing anymore. This one bartender charged me $22 for one vodka & soda and one GT. She truely fucked me but I certainly didn't enjoy it!
The next day, we said our goodbyes to our gracious host and left for the trip back to Toronto. It was a short, but excellent stay, and I survived the wrath of the terrible twosome.
Again, we were stuck in traffic. This time, the accident was on the other side of the friggin' road. Bloody rubberneckers.
But we entertained ourselves with
races around the car, a backseat wrestling match (which I kicked arse) and dancing on the street. The look on the other motorists' faces was
Mont Royal
Great view of the city priceless.
Anyway, you can view the rest of our photos
here.
HAPPY 2007!!!
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Manfred
non-member comment
LMAO
You need to start writing your NOVEL !!! Wotta crack... could be titled, "The MISadventures of Vits". Had ppl wondering wot I was doing, when I was larfing so hard in the office... hate to be the one to break it to u, but your wife-to-be may not be revealing all, when it comes to the kids ur after... LOL