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Published: June 25th 2017
Geo: 43.6485, -79.3854
We wrapped up Iceland and Part 2 of our somewhat aimless wandering.
How do we define Part 1, Part 2, etc of our worldwide wanderings? The site we use for the blog (TravelPod) has a nice feature which allows you to create softcover books/journals which include all of the blog posts, photos, and maps. As some (all?) of our readers have pointed out, it can be somewhat time consuming to work through each blog and all of the attached photos. And apparently TravelPod agrees (and/or didn't anticipate too many people traveling non-stop for multiple years- Aug 11th was our 4 year anniversary) and there is a limit of 3 books and 500 pages per book- hence Parts 1 (1,500 pages), 2 (close to another 1,500 pages), and potentially Part 3? It's a great souvenir and an important reminder of our travels to date- it's amazing how many of the little adventures you tend to forget.
In addition to getting our journals published, I'm using Toronto as a base in order to get us caught up on the paperwork necessary to keep most things moving in a forward direction. I've also signed over official custody (temporarily?) of DH to the greater
Ontario medical community- I was hoping it would be the healthcare equivalent of an oil and filter change but putting her back in working order seems to be a little more involved. There's been conversations that involve dental surgery, gel injections, and, believe it or not, stem cell research. She's on an MRI frequent user program and I suspect that she may end up as the centrefold in the New England Journal of Medicine, Christmas edition. There was a time that an extra large Fruit & Nut Cadbury chocolate bar would cure pretty much any of her troubles.
We have also re-entered the world of property ownership and materialism by picking up an SUV. This was no soccer mom type SUV- this is a big, black, angry looking machine with machismo dripping off of the bumpers (although, between medicinal visits, DH has nicknamed him 'Billy' which doesn't fit with my own perception of his rugged image). With the glaciers of Iceland melting away, we debated the merits of a bigger vehicle but it is a critical piece of our tentative plans for Part 3 of our wandering because, not being constrained to 2 backpacks, we want to take a lot of
stuff with us. And what does Part 3 involve??
We may not get a whole lot of sympathy for this, but it can be hard work being on vacation all of the time. We've a little tired of the bureaucracy associated with flying, and the constant language, food, customs, money challenges can be draining. As a result Part 3 is going to be the ultimate North American road trip in search of the most bizarre and eccentric roadside attractions while enjoying the comfortable embrace of familiarity. We're not going to overlook the big sights of North America like Mt Rushmore, Mesa Verde, and the Alamo and we won't miss the highlight parks like Yellowstone or Banff. And we certainly going to try our hand at luging, rafting, dog-sledding, diving, etc.. But given its somewhat limited history, North America doesn't have too many Colosseums, Angkor Wats, or Taj Mahals but what it does have is a disproportionate share of eccentrics and dreamers, and with that comes a disproportionate number of inexplicable roadside attractions. We've only just scratched the surface and we've already put a pretty good list together:
World's Largest Catsup Bottle – Collinsville , Illinois
Drink with a Human Toe in It- Dawson,
YT
Dog River - Corner Gas TV Town- Rouleau, SK
World's Largest Tomahawk- Cut Knife, SK
World's Biggest Beagle – Cottonwood , Idaho
World's Largest Apple- Colborne, ON
Tim Horton's Store #1- Hamilton, ON
Largest Bull- Albert the Bull – Audubon, Iowa
World's Largest Ball of Sisal Twine – Cawker City, Kansas
World's Largest Adirondack Chair- Varney, ON
Carhenge – Alliance, Nebraska
Foamhenge, Natural Bridge, VA
World's Largest Curling Rock- Arborg, MB
World's Largest Hockey Stick and Puck- Duncan, BC
Bacon Stanley Cup- Montreal, PQ
World's Largest Egg – Winlock, Washington
Jolly Green Giant – Blue Earth, Minnesota
World's Largest Pecan – Brunswick , Missouri
Life-Size Statue of Monster Squid- Glovers Harbour, NF
World's Largest Chest of Drawers – High Point, North Carolina
$2 Million Outhouse- Banff, AB
Head-Smashed-In, World's Most Lavish Buffalo Jump- Fort Macleod, AB
World's Largest Buffalo – Jamestown, North Dakota
Basket-shaped Building – Newark, Ohio
Cadillac Ranch – Amarillo, Texas
Mars Spaceship – Mars, Pennsylvania
Chatty Belle, the World's Largest Talking Cow – Neillsville, Wisconsin
Six Story Tall- Lucy the Elephant – Margate City, New Jersey
Leaning Tower of Niles- Niles, IL
Wee'l Turtle Made Of Wheel Rims- Dunseith, ND
The Shoe Tree- Middlegate, NV
Fremont Troll, Seattle
UFO Landing Port, Green Bay, WI
Largest Ten Commandments, Murphy, NC
Largest Ball of Paint, Alexandria, IN
Largest Ball of Stamps, Boys Town, NE
Enchanted Highway, Dickinson, ND
Giant Horseshoe Crab, Blanchester, OH
Life-Size Chocolate
Moose, Scarborough, ME
Petrified-Wood Gas Station, Decatur, TX
World's Largest Pistachio Nut, Alamogordo, NM
Boll Weevil Monument, Enterprise, Alabama
Billy Tripp's Mindfield, Brownsville, TN
Fred Smith's Wisconsin Concrete Park, Phillips, WI
Cathedral of Junk, Austin, TX
Assuming that DH (where the '
D' stands for Doctors orders) gets medical clearance for the long, long road journey (we've already bought her a hard plastic bum scoop for her to perch in which replaces the books she had been sitting on), she's chipping in with a couple of smaller bucket list items of her own- she would like to enter at least one apple pie eating contest (speed not quantity) and for those readers who have not seen her destroy a full course meal in the blink of an eye, it would be wise not to bet against her. Given the number of county fairs with apple pie eating, she may be able to fund at least part of our road trip with her winnings. And as a former member of law enforcement community she, of course, wants to see the Dog River Surveillance Bush.
As we zig-zag across Canada and the U.S. we're also planning on dropping in to see the many friends who quite foolishly suggested (to two homeless people) that "if we were ever in the neighbourhood...". And just to add a little more concern to those already planning on turning out the lights and hiding behind the couch, we're picked a western theme for our trip- Sandy K has donated a sheriffs badge to the cause.
Our start date is TBD and even if I find the energy to keep the blogs going into year 5, we're not sure how many readers want to follow us to the world's largest paperclip in Saskatchewan. We are going to trim our address book a little bit (hopefully not dropping anyone who is as interested in visiting the Lucille Ball museum as we are) but if following us around North America is not going to bring joy to your life, there is an easy way to get off of the distribution list that sits right at the bottom of the update emails we send out. We promise not to take it personally.
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kevin koerber
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Let me know if ur coming to Minnesota and u have a place to stay guy's Kevin Koerber