The Words & Wisdom of the Munchkin

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This isn't a travel post at all. However It's been suggested that I collect all the things my small boy says together in one place. Here goes, a series of posts from facebook!

"Listening to Peter & the Wolf with the Munchkin. He's taking me through a picture book of the story & commentating.

I've been pursued round the house by some fierce French horns in anticipation of the wolf..."

"The Munchkin's 4th birthday treat-Swan Lake at the Royal Albert Hall. One of his ballet teachers was dancing in it.

Can't believe he sat (relatively) still & quiet for nearly three hours & is still telling random strangers about how 'the baddie Rothbart came back...'"

"The Munchkin tells me everything is "AWESOME" and that lumberjacks are there to help people.

No mention of chopping down trees, nor high heels, nor indeed suspendies & a bra ;-)"

"First time I heard it from the Munchkin was as he came careering down a bridge last weekend on his bike, less than 24 hours after first taking to two wheels.

'Wheeeeeeeeee!' he called, 'Daddy this is fun, it's AWESOME!' I think he gets it from Te Kohanga Reo where there are two adjectives: choice & awesome..."

"To add insult to injury the Munchkin just asked if I was going home tonight. 'No,' I said. 'Oh no, I like it when you're not here,' the little rotter replied."

"Munchkin has just pointed at a picture of Boris Johnson & identified him as me..."

"Having sat scratching his head (no beetles fell out) & sketched out the curves the Munchkin has just built the most complicated railway. He then announced, 'I'm going to be a civil ennineer like Richard because I'm a good railway building boy'."

"The Munchkin (on the subject of "Mary Poppins"): I like the chimbley sweeps. Please may I be a chimbley sweep?

The Beloved: Sorry Munchkin, that was 100 years ago!

Me (thought): I'm sure it could be arranged if you keep us awake all evening again ;-)"

"Woken by sharp pains in chest. Realised it wasn't a heart attack when I opened my eyes to see small fingers in my ribs, a huge cheesy smile, The Munchkin, & a bag of bagels inches from my face."

"The Munchkin has announced he wants to go to school at weekends too & would prefer to be there than the first match of the season. He'll change his mind when he sees Digger & Topsy..."

"The Charming Child has just been making his monkey break wind at us, followed by giggles.

Reminds me of the gag 'what's invisible & smells of bananas - monkey f@rts!'"

"Munchkinism of the day today (on an ivy-covered wall on our walk home from school):

'There's a jungle here. You'd better let me deal with it!'"

"There's the sound of an Irish match coming from the Munchkin's bedroom, where I expect his blocks will be lined up green vs the rest.

There was just a rendition of 'The Fields of Athenry' followed by a cry of 'Your team, LONDON IRISH!' Caimh has competition if the Munchkin's jokes improve..."

"...oh, allegedly it's 'two points to London Irish, keep it going Irish!'"

"Munchkinism of the day: 'You know Miss X, Daddy, she's the old woman at school'.

Miss X is one f his teachers, a rather glam blonde & it would not surprise me if she is in her first job post-PGCE!"

"Munchkinism of the day (while cleaning his teeth before bed):

'Daddy, you're the best!'

'Why, Munchkin?'

'Because you always listen to Mummy and do what she says...'"

"There were eighteen in the bed when the Munchkin was singing earlier. That song took quite a while to complete, especially as the Beloved & I both had to say "ow" as each person fell out..."

"The Munchkin's match prediction: "There will be two tries. One by Big Bob and one by Topsy Ojo". Now you wouldn't let a Small Boy down, would you lads ;-)"

"The Munchkin on the subject of a Year One pupil & friends who invaded the Reception class playground at his school:

'They were naughty chidren. How very rude!'"

"Munchkinism of the day (on being picked up from ballet):

'Mummy, please may I have go to cupcake shop? I've been a good boy. I've had no other sugary items today!'"

"Poor Munchkin! We went to a party yesterday & the birthday girl answered the door in a princess constume. His face fell, big tears started & he rushed off to hide by some buggies in the hall.

I crouched down to ask what the matter was. Between heaving sobs came the reply, 'b-b-because I h-h-haven't g-g-got m-m-my P-p...-peter P-p-pan outfit!'"

"'When the sun goes up and the moon goes down it's morningtime AND YOU CAN GET MY BREAKFAST!'

That was me telt ;-)"

"Munchkinism of the day. We'd been discussing foxes being nocturnal (this came from a conversation with a woman who told us to be careful stroking her dog as it had been rolling in foxes' poo):

'I'm mocturnible. I don't like to go to sleep at bedtime!'"

"Munchkinism of the morning (on seeing a postcard of The Stiffy by the Liffey):

'Where's that?' 'It's Dublin, you remember there.' 'No, Daddy.' 'You know, where we saw Irish beat Leinster? Where we went to the Guinness brewery on a green bus and had a big breakfast with Big Al?' 'Don't know that place.'

'Come on, you... remember, where we fed the ducks with my Cousin Deeds?' 'Ah yes Dublin, Daddy!'"

"Munchkinism of the afternoon. The Beloved explained to him that he couldn't play with the computer as I had an Excel application open. He came to find me & said,

'Daddy, what's a spread-cheese?'"

"Just found the Munchkin doing star jumps in front of the mirror & saying 'RAAAAAH'.

'I'm doing my morning stretches,' he explained :-)"

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