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Bonjour mes amis!
i finally found an internet cafe after wndering around toulouse for about 3 hours 😊 it is amazing how huge it is and i am really only in the center. Any shopping lover would be tickled pink to wander around here, it is just a massive, sprawling outdoor mall but the shops are mostly more interesting than ones that you would find at the mall. there was even a backdoor alleyway with shops that were similar to hot topic 😊 the only real reason i ever found the cafe was because i was doing my usual wander and noticed that there was english being spoken behind me. i immediately turned and apoligized for singling them out it is just that they speak my language and i needed some help. they were totally wonderful. a young french guy (whose name i cant remember) and heather from canada who was totally awesome and excited to see someone else that spoke english. they were super sweet: showed me the way to the internet cafe, hung out and chatted for a while and then heather gave me her email should i need anything she is going to be in france for the next month as well and said i could email her anytime she checks her mail every day. i have met nothing but great people in my adventures (sans Joan who reminds me so much of my dad it was difficult to be around him). i left my last farm a day earlier than i planned originally for a mental health day and thus i am here in toulouse wandering the streets. it is great. this morning was a bit difficult though but life is like that. so, for the past week things had been getting increasingly tense around the house between joan and sol and it just kind of rippled out onto us innocent wwoofers. being who i am seeing sol look like a beaten soul barely existing around the house on one of the trips that she took me to town (actually, the ride home from the last time i updated this bolg) we got to talking about things and some how they went to family and i delicately mentioned that from where i stand the way joan treats her is like shit and she agreed but still had the classic abused woman stance that she was the one that had to change and not him and that is just the way he is and she just needs to learn to accept it and not let it get to her as much. being that i am me and have seen more than my share of abused women feeling stuck in a situation i have been a total wreck living there for the past week watching this catastrophe get worse and worse. long story short i gave her my amber talk that you are NEVER stuck in a situation, there are ALWAYS options and suggested that she take some time and visit her family, see people that love her and will remind her that she is a good person and has value. and as she dropped me off to catch my ride (i hitch hiked to my train which i still cant get used to hitch hiking) she told me that she was amazed with how deep our relationship grew in only 2 weeks and said that she decided hell or high water she was going to take a week in spain with her family and that she has been feeling more empowered and not just taking it when joan yells at her and that he is now feeling threatened due to the strength that she is showing. she gave me kisses all over my face as i jumped in the car and i would have cried if it werent for the fact that i was suddenly in a strangers car and wouldnt be able to explain it. i wish i could tell her everyday that she is a strong, beautiful, tallented, caring, incredibly loving, capable woman. i wish i could swoop her away to a place where she would be loved and treated with respect but the only person that can do that is her. i am sure that this is not really what you are interested in reading but this is my experience of france. it is sad and hard and wrought with trauma just like every other place in the world. i think that for so long i have felt like i was on some sort of island of tradgedy and that the reaches of its influence could not possibly touch such a beautiful and romantic place like europe but that is a little girls ideas. this is real life and both of the farms that i have experienced have proved that life is messy and dirty and painful no matter where you go and in the end everyone just needs to be loved and told that they are good. other than that (which i have obviously been absorbed in for the past week) there is not much to report. the weather has been amazing. hot and muggy but as it has been for every travel day on my journey it is wonderfully overcast and thus a little cooler and i am not being baked by the sun and this is wonderful. i have found that i could probably walk all day. this is nice. oh, the other day the austrailians and i headed down to the lake in sainte croix volvestre on bikes. so the ride there was freaking awesome and a little scary because it is practically all down hill and the bikes get going pretty fast. here i am in flip flops, jeans and a tank top and all i can think of is me hitting a rock and ending up hamburger in the middle of the road. lots of fun 😊. the lake was more like a pond but the water was wonderfully cool and we bought 4 bottles (wine bottle size) of cider on our way to the lake and hung out on the bank in the shade after a quick dip and played cards drinking cider. the craziness sent in when we headed home. so great hills for gliding down mean hell for riding up. i was walking the bike probably half the way. i dont have any shame. i know i am way out of shape 😊 i just felt bad cause the austrailians (who are biking across europe and thus are great bikers) kept stopping to wait for me : / it was fun though. by the time i got to the house i felt like i had really accomplished something. makes me think i should get that bike nikki got me a few years ago for my birthday fixed and start riding. work really isnt that far from my house and at least that is all pretty much flat 😊 something great was that the austrailians and i got close during the time we spent together and we exchanged info and thus when ever i get to austrailia i have a place to stay. that is freaking sweet! they are really sweet people. we even fantasized about meeting up in some exotic city 5 years from now (when we all have money to travel again 😊. tomorrow i leave for my next farm for a week then i head off to somewhere in italy that is near charly 😊 and have a whole 5 days off from other peoples families. yay me! i am excited to get to my next farm and meet the people there though. i think they are an older couple and thus no young kids (awesome!) and they speak only french in thier house but ronna speaks great english so i will get more emersion and it is a new place with all new things to explore and learn about. life is good. i love you all so very much. i think of you all often and have all kinds of little notes to each of you in the journal i keep most days. thank you thank you thank you all so very much for your emails and messages and things. they are such wonderful treats to find them when i finally get to a computer. i love you all and carry you with me on my adventures.
until we meet again 😊
amber
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Barbara
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Great To Hear From You
Amber, I think about you all the time and your incredible trip. Can't wait to hear all about it. Boss is his usual sweet self and Smudge runs all over the place. You are missed. Love, Barbara