Mad dogs and Englishmen

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Day Eleven and I have arrived in London after a rather exciting journey from Zurich to Friedrechshefen via train, to fly out to London. For those who have never heard of RyanAir, they are an Irish budget airline. Tickets cost around £10, but they charge for everything from booking online, check in baggage, using a credit card and are trying to figure out a way charge for using the bathroom on board. I have no issues with this, but after this flight it makes you wonder just how many things they cut.

So we were late to board, the joy of using small out of the way airports! Once we were onboard, the Captain informed us that because of fog in London we would be taking off in about half an hour later, although he would try to get us an earlier landing slot. So we finally go the all clear and started up the engines, but then they stopped and the Captain informs us a fault light has come on and they are talking to engineers in Dublin to see if a local engineer can help out. Turns a local could help and they flicked some switch that makes it all better. BUT because we used up fuel in the previous engine start up, we now have to wait for a top up. Just how much fuel is used in starting the engines? and how much fuel do they actually carry? Is it enough to get us to our destination and then we just glide in for landing...

One would say that is the risk you take with budget airlines, especially Irish ones.

There are many things to tell you about the London, the most important thing is that its cold, cold, cold, miserable, overcast and as result of those things its cold. I now understand why the poms are referred to as whinging poms. This revelation is what travelling is all about, learning about other cultures and why they do certain things. Now that I have my whinging out of the way, I will tell you about the other activities I did to increase my culturedness.

After arriving in London I headed up to Camden to meet up with Ross, my gracious host for the next week or two. While he finished work I took the opportunity to use the internet cafe nearby, not realising that I was potentially directly funding extremism and the like. (I heard on BBC news the next day, that Police where asking internet cafe owners in Camden to moniter the use of computers etc in a bid to fight extremism and fanatacism).

For a change, my timing with my travels worked in my favour. There were many things happening in London (people who live here claim there are always things happenin', but that involves leaving the warmth of a building and finding). Since I'm not a nancy I sucked it up and ventured out to see the many museums that London has to offer.

It's important to counteract all these nerdy activities with less thought inducing activities. Football is the perfect for this. You get to sit in a stadium, abuse the referee, boo the opposing team, laugh at the particularly colourful language the dedicated fans use and hopefully see some good football. The first match I went to was the English Ladies team v Spanish Ladies team at Milwall staduim. Milwall happens to be in one of the poorer more troubled areas of London and their fans have a reputation of being somewhat happy to boff anyone, for things less aggressive than breathing. Luckily/unfortunately there weren't any Milwall fans at this game, because it would have been far more interesting than the game. I'd say that if our Matildas ever got a chance to play the English Ladies we'd give them a good walloping. Mainly because their strikers don't seem to understand the concept of shooting at goal or shooting in general.

The other football game I saw was ridgy didge Premier League game. Fulham FC v Wigam Athletic at Craven Cottage (Fulham home ground). It was particularly exciting because Mark Schwarzer is the Fulham goalkeeper, and pretty good one at that. All the goals were scored in front of my stand (which was awesome) the only disappointment was seeing Schwazer allow one in, hopefully this will not happen in South Africa.

One thing I can say about the English, is that are quite vocal regardless of the topic. The best place to hear such conversations, rants, arguments and like is on public transport. This could be said about public transport around the world, but with about 8 million people in London the chances of overhearing are much greater and all the more colourful. My favourite one can best be summed up by the Little Britain character, Vicki Pollard. For a 16 year old school girl she is hilarious. Her vocabulary is interesting to say the least and usually starts off with...

'Shut up I never done nofin. I never nicked nofin, like nofin, except one fing. Have you been talkin to Wayne Devon, cause let me tell you about Wayne Devon...' and so it goes.

I had the privledge of sitting in front of two Vicki Pollards on the way back to Islington one peak hour and it was mind blowing the things that came out of these girls mouths. They were destroying some other girl who they must go to school with, saying things like 'OMG, she likes not pretty or anyfing and fat' and it just went on and on and on. The best part was when these two young ladies departed the train, I thought I would go blind. They shouldn't be let out in public, let alone allowed to speak. Throw in a few arguments about my baby can rattle its rattle if it wants and yelling call the police and its had not to come to the conclusion that they are MAD, all MAD! (Very amusing at the same time though, as long as you are out of there swiping range).

As for adventuring out and about around London, the Borough Markets are a good place to start. It's located under the various train tracks leading to London Tower station. Finding the correct exit is actually quite hard, especially when you're attempting me meet up with people (the 3 A's). Nonetheless when you get there your senses are bombard with all sorts of smells (mostly good) and your eyes are bulging at the delicious look of the food. It can be expensive, but after a walk around the markets you figure out where all the free tastings are and if your still hungry after that there is plenty to pay for. I had a delicious chicken burger, with salsa and mayo and something else. If I was feeling cold at all the salsa certainly warmed me up.

The same day we headed to Hammersmith to watch the Oxford Cambridge boat race. We weaved our way around the masses and ended up on Hammersmith Bridge, about the 1.5 mile mark (its a 4 and bit mile race). Its all very exciting and when noticed the helicoptors moving, we knew the race had started. Our claim to fame is they passed directly below us, not that you could see much through the tiny gap in the bridge. After a few minutes we couldn't see them anymore and with some many bends in the river we had no idea who had won. All we could hear was the roar a crowd, we assumed it may have been Oxford, but we were barracking for Cambridge (thats who Anna told us to go for). When we finally made it to a pub we saw part of the replay on the screen and assumed it was Cambridge who had one because they looked happy, compared to the Oxford boys.

A day trip to Stonehenge I thought would be a good way to escape the madness of London. I was almost right, instead I got hang out with a few hundred other tourists. A few hours drive and we arrived on the Salisbury Plains and saw possible the most famous and mysterious rocks in the entire world. History suggests all sort of explanations, but the one thing I believe is that you can't just view Stonehenge itself. There is an entire surrounding area with barrows, other strategically placed rocks and a pathway that I think are intergral to understanding and viewing of Stonehenge. But that wasn't going to happen, for one because the its smack bang in the middle of two highways and causes all sorts of congestion. The other barrier is that fact is surrounded by a rather large fence with barbed wire, I don't believe its too keep the sheep in. What ever the theories are about Stonehenge, I believe that is proves one thing, ancient Britions were also mad. Why build something in the middle of windy plain, where's cold? Darwin may have been wrong, but he was also British. I have yet to write my thesis on this and send it off to Heritage England, I'm sure they'll love it. Having said all that, it is a pretty amazing structure. I didn't get the chance to explore the surrounding areas, but I would love to go back and do so, I think it would be all the more intersting.

After two weeks in London I decided it was time to head north (where is most likely going to be colder) in search of snow, badgers, whiskey and the mysterious Haggis.

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Photos

Buckingham Palace
The old duck was in, but sadly no changing of the guard that day.

Prison walls?
No its the wall of Buckingham Palace

Me and my squirrel friend
if it were any bigger, it probably would mug you they were that brazen, he is hiding near the leaves.

Stalking Squirrels in St Jame's Park
no food for you!

Stalking Squirrels
it went to fight another squirrel.

St Paul had a shubbery?
I wasn't aware that St Paul was a knight in the Order of Kni.

Tower Bridge
not to be confused with London Bridge, as I almost did. (note the bleak sky)

Cabinent War Rooms
This particular part of the bunker was filled completely with cement because it was a weak link. Allegedly if the bunker had of sustained a direct hit, it would have destroyed them. No one but the top brass knew this of course.

The 3 A's
Ann, Anna and Anouk

OH&S
This would never be allowed at Riverfire.

Oxford v Cambridge boat race
Oxford (left) in the lead at the Hammersmith Bridge, but Cambridge fought back to beat them by almost a length

The support vessels
Are that many boats really required for 18 guys and two boats? Plus the 3 helicopters in the air.

Pimms No 1
Delicious and new improved version of goon punch.

Fulham v Wigam
Schwarzer in green

Stonehenge
its very windy on the Salisbury Plains.

The sheep of Stonehenge
These sheep are believe to hold mystical powers capable of moving large stones... (I may be making that up)

Bath
The cathedral at Bath. The entire city is World Heritage Listed and built almost entirely of sandstone from local quarries. In the sun they look a honey golden colour.

Comments

[Christiana]

ITS A REAL SQUIRREL!
your commentary is hilarious Carroll! i'm so super jealous you got to meet up with Anna and Anouk. travel safe for now!

[anna]

Pimms
I resent the fact you compare the truely wonderful beverage of Pimms No1 to the vile hangover inducing misture that is Goon punch!

[Blur]

You are becoming superbly cultured Ann. London sounds very cool, although the highlight for me was nonetheless the Stonehenge sheep herd. Say hi to the other A's and Ross for me if you're still in their proximity.