UK - Midyear Adventures 2015 (Part 2 of 2)

---

London
-------

After Miami I flew into London Heathrow with the plan of spending a week catching up with people in and around London. Originally I'd also planned to head to Cambridge, however ended up cancelling that trip for a future date. Usually when I come to the UK it's a flying visit where I go to check on my properties, say a quick hello to family then leave. This time I wanted to unwind and make time for the people I haven't seen for a long time.

It was a great week, staying with a friend and seeing different people everyday. I definitely ate a lot, that's for sure. In fact, the 1st night I arrived we went out to Tooting for food as that place is guaranteed to be open and serving awesome halal delights until 4am. I used to live here prior to moving my ass over to Portugal and knew I wouldn't be disappointed. The funny thing is, when I was ordering my takeaway I was trying to remember the name of the street I lived in which was a 1 minute walk away, and I couldn't. I had to go to the street to find out. As I walk closer, I see the 1st letter ... nope still no idea ... 2nd letter ... nada ... 3rd letter, 4th letter ... still nothing. Only when I saw 70% of the word did I remember it. I remember all my addresses since I was a child but my brain blanked this one out. I still have no idea what number I lived in.

After London I had a bodyweight fitness event to attend to up north and needed to train for it in order to qualify for the certification. My friend lives next to Clapham Common and this became my designated training area each afternoon. They have tons of pullup bars, dip stations and other random-looking equipment. I used to go there and do a few puny exercises next to the buffed up guys doing somersaults around bars. This one time I was taking a break during my workout when I saw around 100 schoolgirls running in my direction. I wasn't sure what was going on, they were getting closer and louder, and closer ... and louder. Then they all crash land on the training park and start climbing everything that's climbable. I assumed it was some kind of primary school field trip. These were probably 10 year old girls and they were earning my respect, that's for sure. They'd climb there way on top of pullup bars Tarzan style and hang on longer than world champions could. I couldn't compete with that ... so I departed.

I attended the Dans Le Noir restaurant with a friend one evening. This is a chain with around 5 restaurants globally. The idea is to eat in the dark and be served by visually-impaired waiters/waitresses, allowing one to use other senses to enjoy the food. When we arrived they told us to lock our mobile phones up along with other belongings to ensure we don't allow any light into the room or cheat ... we mustn't see what we are eating. They gave us 4 options to choose from on the menu: Seafood, Veg, Meat or Surprise. We were introduced to our Japanese waiter Takashi and were told to put a hand on his shoulder so he can guide us into the darkness and onto our table. It felt very strange walking in the dark yet hearing a room full of people laughing and eating. I was taking baby steps despite the fact Takashi was in front of me so I knew I couldn't bump into anything. For the 1st few minutes I felt like I was getting used to new super powers as my other senses worked extra-time ... kind of how General Zod felt in Superman 2 when he landed on Earth and started hearing everything from miles away all at once and couldn't handle it (ps I like General Zod).

We sat down next to others and started conversing with them. This was the 1st time in my life I had a conversation with somebody next to me where I'll never know what they look like. In fact, we started playing a game trying to guess each other's appearance like, hair color, glasses, freckles, clothes, shape of face and so on ... it was a lot of fun. We 1st got the starters through and then the mains. I was very bad at guessing what I was eating. For some things I knew the taste but couldn't put my finger on it. To me it didn't matter, I just mashed everything up and loaded myself up. The important part was to ensure there was no food left on the plate ... a little finger action around the edges confirmed all was ok.

Our waiter told us if we ever needed anything, call for Takashi. I was impressed at how these guys remember where all their guests are in a full room and bring them their meals. During the entire session I didn't witness a single plate dropping or glass smashing, neither by waiters nor by guests. Sometimes we'd shout for Takashi and he'd respond from a distance. Other times we'd shout and he'd immediately respond "Yes I'm here" right into your ear ... he'd be standing next to you and you wouldn't even know. At one point I was wondering if it was Takashi playing with my hair and then realized the AC was pointed my way. After the main course had been eaten (which I ate by hand, less washing for them to do) I felt around me to see how far other people were and to get a feel for the objects around me. I felt a wall on my right, then my hand landed on a person. I told my friend "there is somebody here with us" but this person didn't say anything so my friend didn't believe me. I began to doubt myself and thought it may not be a person, so kept feeling around and was sure I somebody was sat down next to me and I was touching their nose ... yet they still didn't say anything to me. I was holding onto this 'nose' for a while chatting away, and then called for Takashi. From the direction of the nose he responded "I'm right here" ... and then I realized I was held onto Takashi and he was standing up, not sitting down. I'd been grabbing Japanese c*ck for the past 5 minutes and he was silent about it. He asked me if I wanted dessert and I quickly responded "erm no thanks" ... guess he had his already.

It was an interesting experience. I also bought an electronic frog-humping seahorse from a toyshop and caught up with more friends, then it was time to say goodbye and head to the next point on my journey.

Newcastle
---------

Earlier in the year I had booked a calisthenics training event here ... calisthenics being bodyweight training. I'm interested in training without weights or gym equipment and believe it's more beneficial to overall health. After I booked this course the tenant I have in my house in Newcastle gave in her notice so I had another reason to be in Newcastle. I bought this house 5 years ago yet had never seen it so this would be the 1st time I got to know whether the "Number of Bedrooms" field I put onto insurance policies was actually correct.

I arrived into Newcastle 2 days before the calisthenics event began to give myself time to head up to the house, see estate agents and do what I needed to do. During this time I was staying in a recently-opened hostel in the area of Byker (where the 90s TV show Byker Grove was set). The hostel was completely empty during the week and I had not only an 8-bed room to myself, but the entire hostel ... I was the only guest. I was told the weekends get busy as party-goers come to Newcastle for stag and hen sessions. I made myself at home, prancing around in underwear dying my hair, singing Beegees songs.

There aren't many brown people in this area other than those that own cornershops (not necessarily on corners). As I was walking the streets I'd occasionally be stopped by locals asking me what time I'll be opening the shop. Being brown meant I worked at the shop. Even in the hostel during the weekend when guests arrived, they'd be coming up to me telling me there's no hot water or something needed fixing. The guests were rowdy, just here to party up. I remember I did the same in 1999, the last time I came to Newcastle. I can't remember what the occasion was but it was a big lads outing and back then there was a nightclub on a boat ... fun times ... some of it.

The night before the training event I went out en-route to Asda to get some fruit and vegetables. I made sure I would eat well and energize my body for the event ... feeling great. On my way to Asda I came across a halal curry-house. Let's just say my Asda trip was over before it even began. I ordered this thing, and that thing, and the other thing, then 2 more of the 1st thing, and one final thing, followed by a final final thing. By the time I was done, I realized I'd be eating this for days. I got back to the hostel and started munching away in the hostel. There was no fridge to be found so I thought it would be best to leave it out overnight and finish it off in the morning. Then my stomach made another suggestion ... "let's not wait until morning? did your self help books never teach you not to procrastinate? why do something tomorrow you can do today?" ... and I listened to it. I bloated myself up with curry so much that I was scared I'd sh!t it out doing pullups the next day.

When next day arrived I wasn't feeling energized at all ... my body was retaliating from my actions the night earlier. Still, I made it through the day and it was fantastic. I met great people and learnt plenty of techniques. Many of us created personal records. I did my 1st human flag on bars and my 1st muscle-up. This was such an accomplishment, it was something I couldn't do and even on the day it wasn't happening. Then in front of everyone 2 people managed to do it for the 1st time and the instructor asked if anybody else wants to try. I said yeah and gave it a go ... I tried and tried and tried ... and failed. I said I'll try again tomorrow and he told me I'll be trying again in 2 minutes. So I went for it again ... a big group of people watching me. I get up on the bar and try ... and try ... and I'm falling ... and I try ... and I'm falling. Then I hear everyone routing for me and cheering me on. With each cheer I get up another 2mm. I don't know where all this energy is coming from as I'm not giving up. With every ounce of muscle in all body parts after what appeared to be 2 minutes of struggling, I finally make it to the top ... great win for the day.

I had a lot of fun in this event. On the final day we had to pass a test to obtain the calisthenics instructor certification giving us the privilege to teach this stuff. The test looks easy on paper but it isn't, not when you have to use 100% correct form on all movements and are fatigues after 3 solid days of training. Most people passed, myself included and it was a great feeling. About 95% of the other attendees had jobs in the fitness world and were instructors already. For me this was an experience purely for myself, not to become a fitness instructor.

Manchester
----------

I said my goodbyes, exchanged contacts and caught a train to my final destination where my family are. My parents were out of town at the time but I managed to catch up with my sisters. My elder sister is very caring and looks after me a lot. One thing that's for sure is I'll never go hungry with her ... a fridge full of delights day and night. I tricked my body into thinking I was going to Greenland so it would allow me to increase my bodyfat a few percent ready for hibernation ... then I got on a plane to sunny Portugal where the summer was in full swing.

Overall, I had a great time in the UK and caught up with many wonderful people. It makes me want to spend a lot more time in the UK again ... something I will be thinking strongly about over the next few months as I make my next action plans.

---