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Published: December 31st 2005
Birthday Party2
The same shaker after I did 10 tabs of acid.At the Height of his game Theoren Fleury was described as the greatest Hockey Player ever to don a Calgary Flames Jersey. Unfortunately fame and fortune comes with its own set of problems, especially when you are an athlete. Every year, hockey players are given 4 months to rest, relax and prepare for the next season. When that is combined with unlimited cash flow, drugs and ill reputable women usually enter the picture. 4 Months is plenty of time to become addicted to cocaine, as was discovered in the case of Theoren Fleury. What is more surprising is that he managed to become addicted to Trans Fats and Cocaine in the same 4 month period. within hours of this discovery the NHL sent Theo to Europe where he joined the Belfast Giants, who agreed to pay him in Cheesburgers and Columbian Snow... The Game Mitch and I attended featured a slow and angry Theo Fleury, several middle aged Canadians, and 15 year old cheerleaders who had earned their way into professional sports the hard way. Belfast Beat Sheffield 2-1.
The very Next Day was to be the trinations Rugby Championship game between Australia and NewZealand. Mitch and I watched as
All Blacks
The All Blacks Crushed Australia 24-0 To Become the TriNations champions. Its one of those events you will tell your grandchildren that you were at. Apparently this security guard didnt feel the same way... Men in Short Shorts Cauliflowered Eachothers Ears and victory danced into the night. The All Blacks won 28 to 0....
Maybe its the weather, maybe its the lack of exciting geography, or maybe its the fact that this entire country is ill with alcoholism. but given the slightest excuse, several parties will be planned and executed. So, after attending many of these parties, it fell upon me to hold a 'housewarming/My Birthday/ Mitch is going Away' Party.
When I hold a party I clean the house, put up lights, Make some punch and put out little bowls with nuts and chips. Apparently in Britain people drink Red Bull, Turn On Smoke Machines and shake their heads until 9 in the Morning. The result is generally destroyed fire alarms, cigarette burns upon cigarette burns, and lost Damage Deposits. My party had 2 Smoke Machines and more greasy spanish men than I cared to dance with. I also managed to start my shirt on fire....
Alas, teaching everyday can take its toll. Not only am I now a cold and heartless man, I have become withered and old in the short span of 5 weeks. When it came to teaching
Canada Reunion
More than half the players on the ice are Canadian, and half the fans as well. Oh and Theo Fleury is Fat Slow, Coked Up, and the Top Scorer in the Leauge. pedagogy I was described as an idealist. It seems in life, most people start careers with idealistic views of the world and the ways to fix it. The same people who stormed the streets in protest of the Vietnam War are the people who have offices in Washington. The system tames. Forces of Conformity and Complacency. When faced with a challenging situation, the human being goes into survival mode, resorting to tactics he doesn't agree with to get through the day. I digress.
Christmas in Britain. A Nation coming off the high of Imperialism feels the need to overcompensate, every chance it gets. The mass consumerism we know is doubled, the bad christmas songs we sing are twice as poppy, and the christmas cake has twice as much rum. And so, after watching mothers push and shove other mothers over a box filled with wires, that they know will make their child more violent and less productive, something clicked; I need to escape the chaos... off to Eastern Europe, where the remnants of Comunism must mean a more subdued christmas season.
Merry Christmas Everyone!
Post Scryptum: Unfortunately a handful of my internet savvy students have mananged to
find this website using google and a soldering iron. While I have requested they refrain from visiting, this request will insure they are now among my readership. All this means is some of my more scandalous stories maybe omitted. The damage has been done, but I refuse to admit defeat.
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Mike Shiplack
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The next Generation
Kids these days are a clever bunch of little basterds, and that's being optimistic. The rights of children should be ruled with an iron fist, and feathered voice. They think their so smart with their MTV's and cell phones. It's all a bunch of poison. Courtesy, Old Man Shiplack