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Published: August 9th 2007
Royal Horse Artillery
Don't mock the men in funny hats. Ok, go on then. There’s a prize for the first person to email me telling me the name of the band, the song and the album. If you want to know what the prize is in advance, that would be cheating, so I’m not telling you.
Not that I’m counting down or anything. No, not at all. Now some people, okay all the people, mentioned that my last blog was very long. Yes, it was. I hate to say it, but you may want to get used to it. This one and the next one should be reasonably short, but then it’s all going to get just a little bit insane. Course there are reasons for that. I’ll try and spread the posting out a bit, but I make no promises till we get to Budapest at the beginning of October. This might be all quiet for a while. I know I’ll have opportunities to write, but probably not to get online.
So, to June. Apparently it’s summer, but quite frankly it’s flaming miserable. This past week has seen temperatures rocket to 15 degrees and parts of the Midlands got one sixth of their annual rainfall
on Sunday and Monday. See, I told you it was summer. I have to admit, watching England flood is quite interesting coming from a country that has if not tamed, then certainly given it’s rivers a right thrashing to keep them in line. The English seem to regard the occasional flood as simply a matter of course. I was stunned when we were in Shrewsbury to see that their glorious 14th century abbey sat a couple of hundred metres from a river with no flood protection at all. It seems to flood every six or seven years and they just don’t seem to care. They just clean up afterward and that’s that.
Anyway, enough with my not very philosophical musings about those things English I find so very odd. On to the touristy highlights! First off, our exciting visit to Kew Gardens in which we didn’t so much as visit Kew, we….didn’t….visit it…. Seriously! We arrived in London at a most fortuitous time. The bus stops a block from Buckingham Palace and we headed that way to the nearest outpost of the District Line to Kew. We were, however, waylaid by the beginnings of a throng as tourists gathered
The Circle of Lebanon
Really felt like there should have been Vampires! to watch the start of the Trooping of the Colour in honour of HRHs actual birthday.
We weren’t actually able to go to the ceremony itself as one had to have tickets, but we were able to see the mounted regiments form out outside Buckingham Palace and the Queen departing in her carriage. Well, we saw the carriages, but not the Queen. Put it in the same box as George Dubya’s helicopter that we saw in Washington. It really was quite a sight to see as we watched the parade begun by the Royal Horse Artillery (first in order of precedence in the British Army - without going in to too much detail, suffice to say that the English class system even exists to cover regiments of the army - the Artillery first, then the Guards, then the Regiments of the Line, then the Rifles then the Tanks and then the Yeomanry (or Territorials)) who trotted past with their beautifully polished ceremonial guns. These are the colours for the Artillery as they have never had standards. Then we watched as two mounted companies of Guards were played onto the Victoria roundabout to “God Save the Queen” where they formed
Nero the Lion
and the tomb of George Wombwell up to await the departure of HRH. I can tell you, even if the photos don’t really show it, they looked very very impressive. We both had a quiet chuckle at the RSMs trotting about amongst the horses making sure everything was up to standard. The first Guards company moved off to be followed by a pair of phaetons before the second company took up the rear and they trotted off up the Mall to Horse Guards Parade for the march past. In case you’re interested, at this point the Queen takes a march past of a battalion of each of the foot Guards, followed by the King’s Troop of the Royal Horse Artillery and the Household Cavalry (the Life Guards and the Blues and Royals - William and Harry are both in this regiment!) Only one battalion of the Guards actually gets to troop it’s colour and this year it was the Coldstream Guards.
Having enjoyed that little piece of royalist excess and a good debate over whether I’m anti-Royal or a Republican, we adjourned to the tube station only to discover that the district line was closed and reaching Kew was to prove to be quite impossible
Our guide
Looks like he belongs in a cemetery eh? by train. So we abandoned that idea for the day and went to Camden Lock instead! Ah, I do so love Camden Lock markets. So much random stuff! Jen mused that for once we went shopping and I spend £70 to her £17! Admittedly, I bought a coat. It’s very nice and has been wonderful given the rubbish weather we’ve been having. It’s a proper wool, ex-US Navy P-coat. I almost bought an ex-Italian Navy one, complete with gold buttons and epaulettes, but it didn’t quite fit. Sad. Jen tells me it’s about time I had a decent coat. I think she’s right.
Since we were up that end of town, we decided to visit Highgate Cemetery. It’s an interesting little spot, unbelievably peaceful until a Boeing from London City rockets overhead. We arrived just in time for the tour and as you can see, our guide looked precisely like the kind of bloke who you’d expect to take people on tours around the cemetery. Much to my surprise, people are still buried here. Most recently, Aleksandr Litvinenko, the former KGB agent poisoned with radioactive Polonium was interred here. He shares his final resting place with, among others, Douglas
Adams, Michael Faraday, George Eliot, Charles Cruft (of Crufts Dog Show, who hated dogs!) and George Wombwell. More on him later.
Anyway, the cemetery itself was opened in the early 1800s by the London Cemetery Company along with six other sites around the then borders of the city as the churchyards within London struggled to cope with the load of burials caused by the appalling living conditions in the central city. Designed at the height of the Victorian period, it is heavily influenced by gothic architecture and many of the tombs and mausoleums are really quite….awful. It also has a beautiful Egyptian Avenue where the architecture draws, funnily enough, on the tombs of the Pharaohs and forms part of the Circle of Lebanon, a sunken way with vaults on either side, topped by an enormous Lebanese Cedar.
One of the real highlights was the tomb of George Wombwell. Wombwell was a famous Victorian Menagerist (if that’s a word) who was reknowned for having an extensive collection of unusual animals, including a rhino exhibited as the “real Unicorn of Scripture!” He is also known as the first person to successfully breed lions in captivity in England. Many of his
The Lawn
at Kings College Cambridge (try saying that ten times fast!) animals suffered in the cooler climes of Britain, but for some reason he did okay with William and Nero. Now William was named in honour of William Wallace and behaved in a manner one would expect. Nero, on the other hand, was completely tame and docile, and it is this lion that now graces his mausoleum. Now I should also mention Karl Marx. It’s a decent sized head. Not the biggest statuary head I’ve ever seen, but still significant. Fresh flowers are still left here and a number of modern Communist leaders are buried nearby! One suspects that parts of the cemetery are often forgotten at his expense, but there are some amazing memorials, including that to members of the London Fire Brigade, those to important members of London’s Chinese community and at least two Polish veterans of World War II, one whose tomb was marked with the emblem of the Winged Huszars, the most famous regiment of cavalry, well, ever.
So, as it was late in the afternoon, we decided that we should head back. We had a nudge over an hour to make the bus back to Oxford so we leapt upon a double decker at the
bottom of Highgate hill (that’s why it’s Highgate after all - there are hills in England!) and went for a very pleasant little cruise through the very nice and seemingly very affluent neighbourhoods of east London before coming over a rise and seeing the two enormous spans of Euston and St Pancras Stations (for years I used to think it was Pancreas….!) lording over the largest rail yard I think I’ve ever seen. There has been some discussion recently on the BBC website about whether or not they should knock St Pancras down as many see it as an eyesore. I think it’s quite magnificent and proof that even boring English brick can be made into an impressive structure. Okay, the Museum of Natural History also counts, as does theKeble College Oxford chapel, but that’s not the point. St Pancras is in a whole different basket.
We’ve learned, finally, that the Oxford Tube is a bad way to travel to London and it’s much much better to go on the Oxford Espress, since you don’t need to book and it’s cheaper! That’s Al’s Top Travel Tip of the day. Oh, and don’t try and get down Oxford Street to
Some things never change
Oxbridge is much of a muchness.... Marble Arch at 5pm on a Saturday. That’s just stupid.
Now, Cambridge. Ah, Cambridge. First off, a big thanks to Rachel and Nick for having us! They were both first class hosts and tour guides and Jen and I had a really good time. Secondly, can I strongly recommend that you never take the bus from Oxford to Cambridge. It’s three and a-half hours of sheer unending boredom. The scenery is like driving through the Waikato without the sheep and cows punctuated a half a dozen times by the Palmerston North town centre.
If you’re like me and have ever wondered why Cambridge is named the way it is then I’ll tell you. Oxford = Oxen Ford. Straightforward right? Cambridge = Cam Bridge. Yup, you got it, the river in Cambridge is bizarrely named the Cam. It’s one of many such waterways in the UK - the Don runs through Doncaster, the Leam through Leamington and the Chelt through Cheltenham. Original? No, but hey, Hutt River anyone?
Cambridge is a beautiful city. It’s like Oxford but not. It’s so much greener and spread out. The city centre is dominated by green space, large open squares and college
Newnham College
Proof that nice things CAN be built in brick! lawns you can’t walk on. It still has the narrow twisty back streets of Oxford, but they open out on to wide pedestrian walkways, rather than congested main roads or parking areas.
Mercifully Rachel and Nick were there to meet us at the bus stop as we were both fully disoriented by the time we got into the city. I have to say at this point, a hugh thanks to both of them for having us. They were great hosts and tour guides! Hopefully we'll be able to catch up again in Kappadokia in late September.
We kicked off our tour of Cambridge with a wander through the Backs. It was mostly an excuse to make fun of the tourists attempting, and roundly failing, to punt their way down the Cam and also to check out Newton's Bridge. Legend has it that Newton put the bridge up without bolts or nails and some graduate students pulled it apart to see how he did it. Problem is, they couldn't put it back together. So now it's nailed and bolted together and the story is much the funnier as a result.
Of course at this point, it bucketed. I
mean really bucketed. We were able to shelter for a bit under a convenient oak but that got quite ridiculous real quick. Rachel thankfully remembered a cafe in one of the buildings nearby to we dashed off through the walls of water and for the next few horus quietly steamed over our cups of coffee. Nick isa teacher and it was very interesting to hear his opinions of the school system here as it relates to the one at home. Ask me some time and I'll try and remember! 😊
With the weather vastly improved, we set off for Cambridge's most impressive school, Kings College. What a sight! Founded by Henry VI as a college for Eton graduates in 1441 (like I'm sure that was necessary!) and you'd scarely credit that the first non-Etonians didn't enter the college until 1865! It's chief building is the chapel and it's not so much a chapel as a dwarf cathedral! It's huge! The interior has the best vaulted cieling ever and is adorned by Tudor roses on every surface. This interior is thanks to Henry VIII, of course, who also gifted the magnificent dark oak organ housing and choir for the nave
of the church. It's simply beautiful and I've not seen anything quite like it! The centrepiece of the church is the enormous Adoration of the Magi, by Rubens, that stands behind the altar. The Neogothic Gatehouse and the Gibbs Building really just add to the whole picture of the college. It's a real gem and no mistake.
The Fitzwilliam Museum was our last stop for the day and if there's a way to make me like a museum really quickly, it's to put the armoury right next to the front door. It was a really nice little collection and the highlight had to be a German "Calendar Sword." A medieval pocket diary if you will. Somehow I can just picture a pair of grumpy Germans getting into a fight in a bar and one demanding the other face him in a duel. The second one draws his sword and then looks carefully at the blade before saying "is next Tuesday okay for you?" I know, I'm an idiot. The Fitzwilliam also has an incredible collection of Eastern and English china as well as a sizeable antiquarian exhibition, including some fabulous scarabs.
We spent much of our second day
Cows on the village green
Seriously. No, seriously. It's all legal and apparently common! in Cambridge wandering around and taking pictures of the many sights around the city. It was mostly a chance to get a bit of a feel for the city and for Jen, Rachel and I to discuss our respective ridiculous travel plans and I think we all walked away completely jealous. We whiled away much of the afternoon enjoying the sunshine in the best named park in the world - Jesus Pieces!
These past couple of weekends have been really quiet. We needed a break, more than anything, and with Michael and Laetitia in France we decided to have Mal and Bec over for a BBQ and a round or two of University Challenge. Now, bear in mind that among the four of us we have seven bachelors degrees, three honours degrees, an LLM and a candidate for an Oxford DPhil and we couldn’t answer a single one of the advanced questions. Even the so-called intermediate questions were a struggle. Slightly embarrassing. This weekend just gone has been another quiet one as we have had to sit down and plan out what little time we have left in the UK as well as work out the few remaining things
Don't lock your bicycles to the fence.
I kid you not. Much shaking of the head. to do so that we can hit the road ready to go. Booking flights, hostels and that sort of thing.
And so to July. Well, this month is Jen’s birthday and she said I don’t have to buy her anything. All I have to do is let her go shopping in London for a weekend and not complain about how much she spends. Can’t be too hard right?!
Finally, a word about Tim Henman. Now I will freely admit to being one of those people who has had a few laughs at Henman’s expense but having now watched the coverage of the first two days at Wimbledon I now understand why the English love him as much as they do - he’s like the Little Blue Engine that could, except he can’t. Problem is that he’s just so darned likeable. I watched last night as he was 5 - 4 up on Carlos Moya in the last set and fluffed four match points in a row. Then I watched the BBC live text commentary as he went game for game with Moya. I actually want him to win. I mean I really really am willing Tim Henman to finally pull his finger out and really get cracking.
So did he? Well, yes. 13-11 in the end. It’s almost like….the reverse of the semi final at the last Rugby World Cup. Palpable relief. And now, three days since I started writing this, he’s gone out in another 5 set epic to Lopez. Curse the English and their Tim Henman.
It’s really a little bit odd to think that the amount of time we have left in the UK is about half the time we’ll actually spend coming home. At the moment I’m trying not to think about how much this is all going to cost and why on earth we’re spending the deposit on a modest house on a holiday. I will, of course, forget all these things when I step off the plane in Cairo, but at the moment, it’s a strange pill to swallow. Perhaps it’s the Scots blood in me….?
Anyway, hope you’re all well and that your winter is better than our summer thus far.
Talk soon,
Al and Jen
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