London 1st - 5th August

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August 9th 2008

Published: August 11th 2008

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S and M

Big Ben

We'd booked a hotel in Earl's Court. Getting off the tube I expected to hear the jabber of Australians and New Zealanders in the perpetual throng around Earls Court station. How wrong those preconceptions are. The grand names given to London suburbs contrasts sharply with the ordinary streets filled with ordinary people. There didn't seem to be any Earls promenading round a court. There was one-way street clogged with Mini Cabs and Buses though. Our hotel was round the corner from the tube on a leafy, well to do street. London was the place I always wanted to go to but never made it. My childhood reverence for all things British was diminishing now that I was here.

The decline of the British Empire in my head had started around 2pm on the 1st of August as we entered terminal 4 at Heathrow from Amsterdam. Terminal 4 is a tatty old building which should be demolished unless the Home Office wants to discourage refugees from entering England. We got down the badly signposted escalator to the tube station to buy tickets smartly. I have no idea what seafood has to do with transport but the electronic 'Oyster' card is what

City of London

The deserted financial district on the weekend

you need to use the tubes. Also they'll work with buses and trains. Shortly they plan to have oyster cards working as debit cards too. Anyway, they're an excellent bit of technology. For a weeks travel (zone 1 & 2) it will cost you about 26 pounds.

We had booked a mid-range hotel for the week. It was a blessed relief after Amsterdam to have a large room with a couch. Still, the hotel was a bit run-down. London like Heathrow is a bit tatty around the edges. So the hotel didn't come as a suprise. In fact, my fevered imagination had predicted a narrow corridored Victorian hell hole with oil lamps casting light over shadowed, peeling wallpaper as Jack the Ripper stalked us. We got off lightly, the hotel was good value at 69 pounds a night. It was also made much nicer by having Michelle's parents and her brother Tony with us. Solidarity occurs in strange surroundings. Brian, Carol and I had our tour guides Michelle & Tony to look after us so anxieties were eased. Michelle had lived in London* and was happy to be back and show us round.

That night we all went

The Tube

to Picadilly Circus for The theatre. I normally don't do plays, but confronted with the choice of play or musical it was a no-brainer. Tony felt the same way so we saw 39 Steps (adaption of a Hitchcock movie). Adaption is probably the wrong word for it was more like a satire of a Hitchcock film. It was a very funny play. The actors were great and their improv & set effects were hilarious. Michelle & parents went to Les Miserables and loved it. We reunited back at the Eros statue in Picadilly Circus. The circus is a place where tourists, buskers, homeless and the happy-clappers converge; carefully jostling each other or trying to convert you as you wait for someone you know to show up. Picadilly Circus has the huge neon signs hawking corporations to keep you occupied while you wait.

An old friend Sean had moved out here and we caught up him in Bethnal Green. Sean hadn't done the tourist thing, we were tourists so we gave him the tour. The biggest difference between being a tourist and living in London is the shock of your wallet being drained buying 3 pound coffees (terrible coffee).
Perhaps

The London Eye

that's why more NZers live & work here than tour. When you earn pounds it doesn't seem to hurt, when you travel on pounds your own currency better be gold or diamonds not the NZD. We all headed to Regent Street for a spot of shopping and crowding. Sean explained that you can't get away from the crowds in London. Except in the financial district on the weekend we ambled through after we got lost trying to find the right bus stop.

The couple sitting behind us on the bus provided great eavesdropping. The conversation....WOMAN "I promise not to go into TopShop" MAN " Ha ha, yeah right" WOMAN "No honest, I promise" MAN "You know, there's a bunch of pissed-off men queued by the door hating the store, waiting for their wives in there. Muttering come on, hurry the F*** up! You can see it on their faces" WOMAN "No seriously, I won't go into TopShop"
Luckily Sean & I had Hamleys, the worlds coolest toystore. Michelle could TopShop all she liked, we had a whole floor of kitset models, trainsets and radio-controlled cars. You find graffiti in interesting places. The loo at Hamley's was pretty political for

Graffiti at Hamleys

a toy store. The graffiti was a suprise. After about an hour or so of man browsing (does not result in purchasing) we headed over to TopShop to find Michelle. Once you hack your way through the hordes of people into the shop you can join the huddle of pissed-off men waiting for their wives. They'd be wise to provide couches & playstations to appease the unhappy men desperate to go home. This lot looked ready to sack & burn the place.

Michelle & Carol went to Buckingham Palace. This time around Michelle saw the state banquet room laid-out ready to go. All the guys in the group had been looking forward to a whole lot of war. We were at the gates to the Imperial War Museum at the 10am opening time. If you imagine the Auckland War Memorial Museum x twenty & minus the boring civilian bits you get the picture. Britain's imperial past is toned-down in the building. I didn't see any displays about subdueing the Zulu or subjucating Coolies. The very name...Imperial War Musuem must qualify as an exhibit in it's own right. The exhibit space does take a whole day to get through. Most

Jade, Simon H, Aimee, Michelle

displays are tastefully maintained, although the London Blitz walkthrough was hopeless. The truly evil consequences of war are rammed home with the holocaust exhibit.
As the short film about genocide points out, the holocaust was not the first act of genocide. Neither will it be the last, you just hope that the precursors to it get identified and halted before it's too late.

Everybody in NZ must know someone in the UK. Aimee, Simon and Jade (family friends of mine) had set up shop in Clapham & Angel Islington and insisted on us all going to dinner together. We found you don't have to choose between the cliched pub meal & cost if you know the city. Simon took us all out to Le Mercury, a French restaurant. The food was delicious, it was original and it was good value. It really does make a difference having a local show you round. The tourist London was wearing a bit thin. An oppressive anxiety was starting to set in on me. As Sean had pointed out London toughens you up. I wasn't at the toughened stage yet. So enjoying dinner with Simon, Aimee and Jade really lifted me up. Thanks

Clapham chimneys

guys!

The tourism wasn't over yet. Brian and I set off for Westminster Abbey, Tower Bridge, The Cabinet War Rooms and the Tower of London. Along the way we saw Big Ben & Parliament. Westminster Abbey will cost you 12 pounds a visit unless you're worshipping. I don't know if this was a clever ploy by the Church of England to get the flock back, I mean who wants to pay 12 pounds?! We skipped the church and went to the Cabinet War Rooms instead. During the London Blitz in 1940, Winston Churchill's war cabinet frequently met in the underground bunker below the treasury. The tour includes a Winston Churchill exhibit which documents his extraordinary life & accomplishments. The war rooms is well worth it and gives you a sense of how close the Nazis came to extinguishing the last light in Europe to paraphrase Churchill.

Home of the Crown Jewels, the Tower of London gives you a timeline of sorts all the way back to the Romans. On the site there has always been a fort filled with men fighting-off invaders. The central keep known as the 'White Tower' is filled to the brim with arms. In

Imperial War Musuem

the good old days displaying all your pikes, swords, cannon and spears was a big deal. Men in red frocks emblazoned with the royal coat of arms known as Beef Eaters guide you around with a proud fervour. They have 6 ravens (+ 2 in reserve) living at the tower. These shiny black birds are well looked after because if legend is true the tower will crumble if they ever leave. To be doubly sure their wings are clipped.
The heart of the British Army has always been the Regiment. The Royal Fusiliers currently guard the tower in wearing the famous Bearskin hats have a tour were you can view their bloody history. Like most line regiments in WW1 they suffered horrendous casualties.
Queing an hour to see the possibly fake Crown Jewels was out of the question. Footsore by now it was time for home. Just as well because by now all the travelling was running Michelle & I down. We really needed to rest. Michelle was bed-ridden and I could feel my throat heralding the arrival of the flu.

London has an extensive subway system. We found that any combination of tubes will get you close to

WWI Trench experience

At the Imperial War Musuem

where you want to go. Thanks to the brilliantly designed subway maps it's hard to get lost. Unlike the New York subway there is no air-conditioning, instead the carriages are rendered useless for conversation by having windows at each end open for ventilation. This doesn't matter because no one wants to talk to you on the tube anyway. The trains & tunnels are narrower than NYC and it feels like you're being squeezed down a toothpaste tube. However they do have escalators and the stations are fairly cool. There's a stark difference between different lines. On the newest like the Jubilee you'll find smart, bright caverns which jar with the grubbier older stations such as the Circle Line.

TV shows can reinvigorate an era. Hampton Court Palace must have benefited from 'The Tudors' TV series greatly. A clear sign was how engaged usually disinterested teenagers were touring the grounds.
Henry the 8th held his court here, they gorged their way through vast amounts of meat and wine in the great dining hall. The guided tours give you a feel for the mechanics of royal rule, how a monarchy controlled the lives of people and what was expected in return.

Mustang

One of about 6 aircraft hanging above the atrium at the Imperial War Musuem

Successive Kings & Queens up to the Georgians made this place their residence away from the fetid filth of summertime London. The gardens are something special, artfully laid-out. The worlds largest grapevine is here amongst the splendour. It's only half an hour by train from the city. I was lucky to catch a glimpse of a fox sauntering along the tracks on the trip back which although brief remained a highlight of the trip.

We had come to London to see the city with Brian & Carol (Michelle's parents) before going to Leeds for Tony (Michelle's Brother) & Vicky's wedding. Goals were achieved, places revisited and friends called on.
We'd see London again in a matter of days. At KingS Cross station we boarded a train for Leeds.
Michelle could live here again, it has a busy charm. But as Simon H had pointed out there is an indifference as with other big cities that I feel uncomfortable with. Agrophobia is not as much a fear of wide-open spaces but of unfamiliar enviroments as I found out for myself. Moving here alone, in my early twenties could have been a cold. hard shock and I'm glad I came here