Just another ramble

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My life here is settled, and again I am to uproot everything. Ahhhh the excitement of uncertainty. Having no job, minimal funds, and heading off with no clear expectations, just the glint of adventure in your eye.

Matas and I am leaving our cosy and secure life and heading to Andorra for the ski season. I will be there for 5 weeks and he, 4 months. I admit the thought of packing our lives, driving across 3 countries and shacking up in a studio apartment is incredibly romantic to me, that is until his entourage arrives early February, which conveniently is the time I leave.

What to do then? Notions of travelling back through Paris and The Netherlands enthral me. But in actual fact, I will most likely head back to London so I can work like a slave and live like a pauper. Pinch every penny so that the nest egg grows to a substantial amount that weekend trips with not be required, I will grab my much loved (and lately unused) backpack and hit the road for not weeks, but months, perhaps years. Through Europe, across to Africa, South America, Canada and finally on my way home, India. In my dreams I want this to be a reality, however we all know my plans change with each breath, but so far this one sounds really good.

I think I really need to put this all on motion, begin to map out routes and suggested dates. My departure date from the UK, and more emotionally difficult, Matas, needs to acknowledged and planned.

We had a much needed open discussion regarding the direction of our relationship. Neither of us are willing to settle in a continent other that of our birth. As a result following the difficult conversation (and a few tears on my behalf) we both agreed that August 2012, will not only signify the end of my visa, but then end of 'us'. Although at first I was broken hearted, then angry and upset, this is a logic decision. I still question the plan to stay together during our separated months when I leave Andorra (his persuasion), but I am willing to see how we both fare. I cant deny I love the man. I cant deny he makes me very happy. I cant deny that my feelings for him are hurtfully unreciprocated. I also cant deny that at this stage in his life he is the wrong man to want to love for the rest of my life, but for right now, he is perfect.

I had a close friend make a very interesting observation last night, 'You are a strong independent traveller, but you have a even stronger maternal instinct that comes out whenever you drop your guard'

Interesting... thoughts?

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Photos

'us'