Monkey Business


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Published: May 8th 2018
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Sir William Gray Sir William Gray Sir William Gray

....first Mayor of West Hartlepool
It was a glorious day. A sharp contrast to my last foray around the North East coast, which turned out rather damp. The forecast predicted the warmest early May Bank Holiday on record. I looked out the windows to double check. On a good day, visibility stretches as far as Sunderland from the mother in law's lofty perch. The view confirmed the weather people were on course to get it right today. I found myself on Thornaby railway station waiting for a connection towards Hartlepool. The Travelblog world is full of records of trips to magical places, but the blog that brought you Shildon, Bishop Auckland and Tow Law was on the way to County Durham once more. The York drinking circus would be busy today. A few had decided to best the rush and get the earlier train. The "Bride Tribe" were among them, although one missed the step on to the train and nearly became the first victim of the day. Meanwhile, the alternative day out to Newcastle was in full swing on my train. The train passed through Stockton, Billingham. ... strangely announced as Billingham on Tees, (presumably to distinguish it from other places aspiring to become Billinghams elsewhere) and Seaton Carew. Seaton Carew. .... the Costa del Hartlepool - is the gateway to the world. Well, Latin America at least. A few years back a guy faked his death. He was last seen paddling out to sea in his canoe. He turned up 5 years later, having become a bit too confident that he had totally disappeared. House hunting in Panama with the ill-gotten insurance gains proved a step too far. I alighted at Pools, as it is often referred to locally. There are two distinct Hartlepools. Old Hartlepool headland has been around a very long time and the more modern Victorian metropolis of West Hartlepool. The railway station is beside Church Street, the old finance and commercial centre of West Hartlepool. It was closed to traffic, as part of some multi million pound regeneration scheme and largely deserted. The majority of the businesses were closed. I was the only customer in Ladbrokes, as I studied my fixed odds football coupon for inspiration. Church Street originally housed banks and shipping offices and the buildings are suitably grand. The banks however have long since departed to York Road, leaving an assortment of businesses occupying the premises.



West Hartlepool was the vision of Ralph Ward Jackson. He was the big cheese in the Stockton & Hartlepool Railway Company, which opened up the port area to more than the Durham coalfields. A statue of the man stood marooned in the modern day construction works, surveying what he achieved. Jackson developed the new port area and his optimism was well placed. In the mid-1800s, the port was ranked only behind London and Liverpool in importance. It was handling 3 times more cargo than all other North East ports - Newcastle, North & South Shields, Sunderland, Stockton and Middlesbrough - combined! In 1900, the docks were still in the top 4 and the population of West Hartlepool was over 60,000. I walked into Church Square. Christ Church looked fine in the morning sun, guarded by a statue of William Gray who was the 1st Mayor of West Hartlepool. We'll come back to more recent Mayors later. The Hartlepool Art Gallery and Tourist Information Centre lie within the Church. I walked along past the new Hartlepool College. An old Jet Provost training plane sits perched at the car park entrance. It is described as the "Gate Guardian". An interesting metal sculpture was guarding the main entrance. The Middleton Grange Shopping Centre was off to my right. I carried on towards the old Hartlepool Cooperative Building. It opened the doors in 1912, survived two World Wars and the depression of the 1930s. The decline of the old heavy industries finally brought it to its knees in the 1980s and after a spell as a nightclub, was converted into apartments. The ground floor is still technically retail space, albeit unoccupied retail space. It remains to many older residents - Central Stores - although the prospects of anything being from there in the future look bleak. The Cameron Brewery next door has seen it all and survived. The brewery was established in 1865, but that on display today is largely the incarnation of the 1890s when North East domination was on the horizon as an aspiration. The Lion Brewery is neatly adorned with red lions mounted on the perimeter wall. When I was younger, the famous Cameron brand "Strongarm" - a strong ruby coloured ale - was much sought after by the serious drinkers. Today, much of production is "under licence" to satisfy the modern demand for continental lagers. The Jumbo Chinese restaurant
Ralph Ward JacksonRalph Ward JacksonRalph Ward Jackson

.....surveying Church Street
was preparing to open, as I walked up Park Street. It was certainly jumbo in size. I did some banking on York Road. The transformation from counter staff to machine was being rejected here in Hartlepool, as customers queued rather than embrace technology. I cut through to the Middleton Grange Shopping Centre to get to the War Memorial, which stands across from the District Council offices. When I first started working, our North East regional office was based in Hartlepool and were frequently dragged for meetings held at the Grand Hotel next to the Council Offices. The old British Railway hotel was stuck in something of a time warp, but has survived. The Grand here can't make the same boasts as the namesake in my Scarborough blog, but remains a fine Victorian building now running under the Best Western banner. The same couldn't be said of the building next door on Victoria Road, crumbling behind some safety fencing. I retraced my steps down Church Street, where the Royal Hotel has been less fortunate than the Grand. The level crossing barriers dropped and my progress towards the old docks was thwarted.



A sign broadcasts the message, "Hartlepool. A Marina & Much More". The old West docks are now a combination of marina, modern apartment blocks, museums and shopping. The old harbour masters house greets you. Sailing lessons were ongoing in the harbour basin. I wandered across towards Jackson Dock and the Royal Navy Museum of the North, which describes itself as the "North's Premier Maritime Attraction". A naval gun and a mine adorn the entrance. The two permanent big ships housed there are the HMS Trincamolee and the Wingfield Castle. Trincamolee is the oldest British warship still afloat. It was built in 1817 - ironically not in the shipbuilding North East - but in Bombay! Trincamolee masts are visible behind the museum buildings. Wingfield Castle is openly visible at the side of the museum. She was built in 1934 and served as the Humber Estuary ferry. Surplus to requirements after the bridge opened, she was destined to be a floating restaurant in Swansea Marina until it was discovered to be too large to fit through the entrance gates! The floodlights of Victoria Park towered over the retail park that faces the dock, but there was no time to take a look. Hartlepool United have had a miserable season, struggled with their new non-league status and survived financial disaster by the skin of their teeth. A new optimism abounds with a takeover and the appointment of Matthew Bates as Manager. I had a refuelling stop in Asda and set off for the Headland. The lunchtime sun was baking and I can testify to the scale of the docks built by Ward Jackson. You are effectively skirting the perimeter. I arrived at Throston Engine. Throston Engine was a static steam powered and used to draw coal wagons up the incline to the yards here. The use of the engine added costs to the expiry of coal and the new West Docks allowed wagons to directly access the port facilities.



I passed the sign for the Headland - the ancient borough of Hartlepool. The town crest featuring the stag adorned the stone plinth. The grand building in the distance turned out to be the old library from 1904 - a gift from billionaire Andrew Carnegie. The sign at the entrance to the Marina in West was buoyant and showed optimism. The next sign I passed on a mobile advertising trailer was the opposite. It offered cash for houses
Hartlepool FC v Hebburn Town ReservesHartlepool FC v Hebburn Town ReservesHartlepool FC v Hebburn Town Reserves

Alan Hood Trophy Final, 5th May 2018.
- any condition, any situation. The town might have turned a corner in recent years, but there are those still keen to make from the misfortune of others. The initial section of the Headland needs a lot of love and attention, but beyond lies an area of historical importance and listed buildings. If you mention the town to many, they think of industrial decline. Here on the Headland, I suspect they would be pleasantly surprised at pleasant surroundings. It was on Fisherman's Sands that Hartlepool became associated with an animal other than that on the town badge. Rumour has it that a group of local townsfolk chanced on a monkey washed up on the shore. The country at the time was looking cautiously out to sea waiting for Napoleon to invade. A French ship was wrecked offshore and the only survivor was a monkey dressed in a French uniform. The locals, having never seen either a Frenchman or a monkey, held an impromptu trial. The monkey was questioned, but remained oblivious and wasn't likely to respond in English. The primate was presumed to be a French spy and promptly strung up. True or not? Who knows? However today, mention Hartlepool to many and a probable response is "Monkey Hanger". The folk song by Ned Corvan relaying the tale surfaced many years later, although many think it was a corruption of a similar tale about another unlucky monkey up Aberdeen way. There is a fine, modern twist on the original by Boothby Graffoe - part of his Songs From The Shed phase. I am never really sure whether the locals see the Monkey Hanger stereotype as a badge of honour or an insult. However, the Hartlepool United fanzine used to be (and possibly still is) Monkey Business and the mascot is called H’angus the Monkey. Indeed, one of the incarnations of the mascot stood for Mayor of the Hartlepool Borough in 2002 as H’Angus and romped home on a platform of free bananas for school children. This could have been seen as a protest vote and 2 fingers to the established politicians, except Stuart Drummond aka H’Angus managed to defend the post in 2 successive election contest before the role was disbanded. In view of the previous demonstration of disillusionment with the mainstream of politics, it therefore shouldn’t have come as an enormous surprise that in the Brexit debate Hartlepool registered one of the highest “Out” votes in the whole UK. The locals have had a few run ins with the continentals over the years, starting with the French and the monkey incident and then they took a pounding from the German Navy in World War 1. As described in my recent Scarborough blog, the town has bombarded from the sea by over 1000 shells in a hit and run encounter down the North East coast. 100 + people were killed. Private Theo Jones , who was probably quite relieved with his posting in manning the Heugh Battery on the Headland rather than being in the trenches of Flanders, was recorded as the first British soldier killed in action on home soil during World War 1. The Heugh Battery is now a museum and the sign outside describes it as the only World War 1 battlefield. The next sign advises that it is a World War 1 battlefield that welcomes friendly dogs and cyclists. A monument to the bombardment stands outside the Battery, alongside a lighthouse and a Crimean War cannon retrieved from Sebastopol. I walked back down to the Andy Capp Statue randomly following the information boards topped with a monkey and passing the Headland War Memorial. The statue has stood since 2007 next to the Pot House pub and commemorates the iconic cartoon series that has run in the Mirror newspapers since 1957. The creator, Reg Smythe, died in 1998, but the series continues detailing the daily struggles working class character. The park by Town Square was full of folk enjoying the sun and eating their fish and chips. A serious queue snaked out of the door of Verrills. The seagulls hovered overhead, awaiting fresh leftovers. I noted that the pavements and car paint work of the Headland were liberally splattered with their droppings, so seagull population must be finding life good. I did a circuit of St Hildas Churchyard and marvelled at Borough Hall. Borough Hall was opened in 1866 and originally housed the public offices for the town, as well as the Police Station. Today, it is an entertainment function space. The architecture on Middlegate was a mix of styles, all of which had been beautifully restored to their former glory. I left the residents of the Headland sunbathing in their gardens and went in search of some football.



I checked on the ever helpful maps.me that I was on track for the Grayfields Enclosure and cut off Raby Road. The hunt for a football ground can be so much complicated without the aid of floodlights. It was by chance that I stumbled on a small new housing development all named after Hartlepool United footballers. Brian Honour. Richie Humphreys. There are 7 roads in total, including a Joe Allon Close. After being cast out by Newcastle as a teenager, he found his mojo in two spells for Pools. I messaged a mate who is in his "Return to Meadow Lane" phase and asked him to speculate on my geographical whereabouts. He was spot on with his assumption that a monkey was rumoured to have an unfortunate end in the locality. I later reminded the Other Half when I got back how she had seen his debut for those in black and white stripes and she looked at me blankly. She was probably too busy concentrating on the skills of wee Pat (Nevin) and wondering when the old Main Stand at St James' was about to fall on our head. The goals never flowed for Joe in his unlucky spell with the SW6 gang. Joe was a little hard done to I felt, being a bit of an afterthought as a "leading to Joe Allon Close" from the road named after Wattie Moore. However as they would say about others such as "Big" John Hickton down the road, anyone can be classed as a great footballer but to be a local hero takes so much more! I bought a lottery ticket from a "new" lucky shop and crossed the road to the Grayfields ground. It never won by the way, so the shop is crossed off the list going forward!



The Alan Hood Charity Trophy is an impressive cup at any level of the game. I had chosen this game to attend, largely on the basis of the silverware. I could have nipped down to Mount Pleasant to see the climax of their Northern League Mission Impossible. Alan Hood was a local player and ref in Wearside League circles, who was killed in a car accident. He was honoured for his contribution to local football with this competition in his memory. The merit of how the man was viewed is reflected in the trophy on offer. Ally McCoist - formerly of the Roker Park parish - is said to have auctioned hid first ever Scotland international cap to boost the funding The cup was perched on a table by the entrance by way of trying to entice a few extra inside. I seized my photo opportunity. The trophy is a replica of the old European Cup, the one where you had to actually had to win a league before you could enter (as opposed to the Champions League, where you just need to be minted and mates with other clubs with similar funding). I messaged another friend and pointed out that if the Trees couldn't aspire to the "3rd Star", there was a trophy in Wearside League circles which would fit the cabinet just nicely. I am not sure the message was well received.



I paid my £2 entry and bought a programme. I have not bought many recently, as I usually get accused of cluttering up a minimalist property on my return armed with a prize possession. The subject of programmes has been much in debate this week. Football League rules were being tested in a vote, after many lower league clubs were concerned that the cost of production were outweighing the profit to them. Football programmes were my version of stamp collecting (if we can discount the fanzines, of which I have hundreds). Memories fade, but all can be rekindled by dusting down the oldies and thumbing through the details within. The youth of today are by all accounts happy to settle for an internet page to satisfy their check on results or stats, in the same way that they are happy with a digital download rather than a piece of vinyl and an album cover. I secured the programme in my bag, safe in the knowledge that it will be a collector’s item in Hartlepool or Hebburn in many years to come. If not, I can skip through the pages to remind me where I was on warm sunny afternoon in 2018. It will also help the Wearside League defray their costs to ensure they produce a programme for others to treasure in the future years.



The Cup Final itself was a competitive affair, but slowed down by the unseasonably warm conditions. A healthy crowd was on hand. A bar and BBQ was available from noon with the 2.30 pm kick off and many were taking full advantage. The No Alcohol Outside signs didn’t have much effect on the majority. Hebburn were arguably the better team, but fell behind to a goalkeeping shocker. I later found out that both their keepers were injured, so the unfortunate villain of the piece was actually the centre forward. Hebburn recovered from the setback in the 2nd half with 2 well worked goals and looked set to claim the trophy. Hartlepool launched a final flurry and after hitting the bar twice in the same attack, scrambled an equaliser to scenes of jubilation among the majority. A glorious chance 1 on 1 on the keeper was fluffed at the death, sending us to penalties. The momentum was with Hartlepool, so it wasn’t a surprise that they ran out 5-4 winners from the spot kicks. They lifted the “European Cup” skyward, so history will show that John McGovern is not the only Hartlepool lad to have had his hands on the cup with big ears!



Appendix 1

Totalsport Alan Hood Trophy Final

Hartlepool FC 2 Hebburn Town Reserves 2

Hartlepool FC Won 5-4 on Penalties

Date: Saturday 5th May 2018 @ 1430 Hours

Venue : Grayfields Enclosure, Jesmond Gardens, Hartlepool, County Durham

Attendance : Est 250

Hartlepool FC: Coils, Mulvey (Snowdon), Moss, Cope, Campbell, Osbourne (Clark), Naylor, Blackburn, Tumilty, Jones (Gardner)

Hebburn Town Reserves: Houghton, McCullough, H Simpson, E Simpson, Nelson, Bolam (Wilson), Birch (Nesbitt), Richardson, Clarke, Lawson (Sinclair)

Scorers : Cook & Tumilty (Hartlepool FC), Richardson & Lawson (Hebburn Town Reserves)







Additional photos below
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Christ ChurchChrist Church
Christ Church

.....doubles as the Tourist Information Centre and the Hartlepool Art Gallery


8th May 2018
Hartlepool FC v Hebburn Town Reserves

And you even get to touch the trophy
Fascinating meander through Hartlepool introducing many of us to a town so pivotal to port and war history of NE England. Your vivid descriptions make it seem like the must see tourist mecca for the uninformed masses. And as usual you attended a lower tier game of football as if you carry your boots and shorts wherever you travel in case they need you to fill in. By the way as football seems to be a passion of yours from your many blogs, what is your football pedigree?
9th May 2018
Hartlepool FC v Hebburn Town Reserves

Monkey Business Blog
Thanks for the kind comments. As you will have noticed, I can't resist visiting any football ground. The blog is just the tip of the iceberg of games I actually attend. Where would we be, if hadn't spent all our money on beer and football? ....muses the Other Half. Alas, my footballing pedigree never reached the great heights and stayed in the enthusiastic participant bracket. I put it down to the penalty miss at the old Ayresome Park in the Middlesbrough Evening Gazette Schools Penalty Prize competition all those years ago. What might have been?
8th May 2018
Town Square, Headland, Hartlepool

Town Square
Evokes all kinds of enquiries. Great pic.
12th May 2018

Thanks for sharing!

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