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Published: February 18th 2013
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Leaving Home in April
This is the morning I left home. Slightly apprehensive and not really sure what Im doing!! 3 months sounded like such a long time back then. Well this time Im leaving my African home and the volunteers who instantly became my family, its almost harder than when I left England all those months ago, Im gunna miss these guys!
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Im currently writing this final entry sat on the plane from South Africa back to England. What a journey. Wow. Too many thoughts and feelings are going through my head right now for me to properly put it all into words!
I simply cant believe im going home. Im devastated. This morning when I left Bloemfontein I felt sick with nerves at the realisation that my travelling was over and Id have to settle into home life again. For the past few weeks Ive been so excited to see my family again and to be able to give them all hugs for the first time in so long, to have my own bedroom and belongings back, to be able to see my friends, to have my hair dryer and GHDs, to be able to go to the gym, to see all of my animals again and give them cuddles... the list was endless. However, now those dreams have become imminent, they dont seem so important
Whitsunday Island boat people
Everyone including the crew from the sailing boat when we sailed around the Whitsunday Islands for 3 days and 2 nights. Absolutely beautiful place! anymore. I could wait longer for it all if it meant I could travel for longer. Granted it will be amazing to be home, and to see everyone again will be so so good, but when whats on the other side of the world is as incredible as Ive found, I cant help but be a little upset to be leaving it all behind and going home.
The people I met along my travels became my family, the hostels and volunteer house were my home, the animals at cheetah experience were my pets, the few items in my rucksack were all the belongings I really needed, rather than a gym I had a hammer or a spade or a paintbrush or a sea to swim in, and my natural hair and face felt like the true me. Priorities changed. Travelling does change you. Its all going to sound a little cheesy and possibly even predictable, but its the truth.
So how have I changed and what have I learnt about myself?... Well... firstly I will never make a very good hairdresser (sorry Andrew lol), I cant cook (I already knew that one, but it only got worse, sorry
Everyone in Thailand :)
MISS THIS GROUP! met so many amazing people while I was away. if I nearly killed you all guys!), I lack many inhibitions (especially it would seem when it comes to running around in underwear/skinny dipping/certain other scenarios not appropriate for here haha), my voice goes very high pitched when Im nervous (I thought you were all exaggerating when you described my first tour, but I watched my sky dive and wow i see the mickey mouse resemblance now hah)...Im joking, well thats all true, but in all seriousness I have learnt a lot and I have changed! Im coming home stronger, more independent, older and more mature, more determined, more outgoing, a stone heavier haha (i drank and ate way too much, but i dont regret a second of it, would be nice if I could fit into my clothes now Im home tho haha, the diet has already begun), a free spirit, but most importantly,
Im happier!: Travelling removed all of the stresses and problems and I feel like I can overcome anything. I still dont know what my future has in store for me, but I know how Im going to go about it, and Im ready for anything that comes my way. A very influential person I met
Going back home in July
This is when I was leaving South Africa and flying back to England. I have no idea why I ever left! Worst feeling in the world. 3 months had flown by and I could happily have carried on travelling forever. along the way told me "to always chace my dreams and do whatever makes me happy. Life is too short not to do what makes you happy!" Those were definitely his wisest words, especially since most of the time he joked that I should "get on my knees" and do some work. Hah!
Its been the people Ive met along the way whom will be what I remember most from the past few months. People are what make a place. The countries have been spectacular of course, but without certain people being a part of my life, I wouldnt have gained the memories or experiences Im taking home with me. Ive been so far and seen so much with all of my new friends, it feels like Ive been to the moon and back. I was with an absolutely amazing group of people in Thailand, I couldnt have asked for a better crowd! Im certain we will all stay in touch and continue to meet up in the future 😊 Then theres everyone I travelled with and met in Australia, so many people and all of them were awesome, it was certianly an adventure with lots of stories from it! Everytime we entered a new hostel, the people there became our friends immediately and most of them will be for life now. And then theres all of the volunteers from Africa, such great people! We had so much fun and were all very close I miss these people a lot! (Especially Jay and our spooning when we got lonely ha). Man I am going to miss everyone I met so so much its crazy, in a way I now resent how close we all got and how well I got on with them all, its only making home harder!
So yes I am indeed how now while I write this up. It sucks, to put it as politely as possible. Im bored. Im lonely. Im depressed. Im heartbroken to have said goodbye to the people and even the animals at Cheetah Experience. Im homesick, since everywhere I stayed became home instantly. This house Im in now is just where I
used to live, and I feel like Ive moved on so much from here and everything it represents and all of the memories, that the last thing I want to do is settle in and allow myself to get sucked back into everythig I hated. I refuse to let go of everything Ive done, seen, learnt, become etc, which is making it pretty difficult to really accept that Im home and that I have to live here now, for the time being anyway. Its going to be a struggle to stay happy now Im here, its a horrible shame because while travelling I was the happiest Ive ever been in my life, and I dont want to have to walk away from that. It will stay with me forever, its just going to be a difficult transition. Its harder to be home than it ever was to leave and go travelling on my own! England is just so friggin dull!
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