I Want To Quit

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I don't think I can take this school for another seven months. I hate this job so much, it's like destroying my soul.

I've never been treated with such disrespect in all my life. I've never felt so powerless. I feel like a loser, but I have to get out of here. And I don't ever want to teach again. I just want to curl up in a ball in my mommy's bed, completely hidden under the covers, and stay there for like three months.

I call my mother and tell her I'm coming home. "Oh, thank God!" she says. "I thought, what's it gonna take!" Problem is that I have no money to buy a plane ticket home. I used it all up during my Christmas break, plus I didn't get paid for that two weeks that we were off school. I'll need to work for another two weeks or so to save up the money. I call my dad and tell him not to worry about picking up my stuff from Rebekah's house; I'm coming home in a couple of weeks anyway. He tries to talk me out of quitting, saying that lots of people have jobs they hate, but you just get on with it.

Those people can do whatever they want. I'm not them. Besides, this isn't just merely hating my job, like how I hated waiting tables. This job is killing me from the inside out. I have to get out of here. I'm destined for greater things than this.

But even when I do have the money to leave, what am I gonna do at home? I have nowhere to live, no job, and no car.

I'm stuck here.

Maybe if I were spiritually stronger, I could take this. Maybe this is my spiritual practice.

God, help me.

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