US Speeding Ticket: Swiss Response

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My host father got a speeding ticket in NY on a visit in 1998. He sent this letter with his payment. I found it amusing...

Donald Smith
Justice, Loggerstown, NY

Hello Donny,

On 5/25/98, while spending my vacation in the United States, some bozo cop from your little town caught me speeding. I am now ready to pay the ticket. First I thought to myself that you could just as well kiss my ass, but then again you probably need the money to buy a new street light for your shitty little town and feed the homeless on your streets.

Furthermore, you were not exactly very lucky. When I was caught, I was actually travelling very slow compared to the rest of my trip (I had to slow down because of the traffic). Only two minutes before that cop caught up with me, I was still testing the top speed of the Cadillac, which came out to approximately 125 mph. That was fun! The average speed travelled that day was about 105 mph. I also carried about 50 lbs of dope in my trunk, and was still completely drunk from the party earlier that morning. See now why I don't mind paying your crappy little fine?

If you or anyone else, for that matter, does not like when Swiss people take their God-given right to drive as fast as they want in your country, then come to Switzerland so I can wupp your ass. Next time I visit the the U.S. I will speed even more, and there is nothing anybody can do about it.

Included are the postal money order and a copy of the ticket. Sorry I'm late. But I just don't care!

Sincerely,
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Okay, okay, the letter was actually not included with the payment...hope no one finds this (too) offensive

DISCLAIMER: views reflected herein do not reflect the views of my host family, myself, or www.travelblog.org

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