The Great Scandinavian Adventure

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In December of 2011 one of the travel deal websites I follow advertised an SAS Airlines sale from DC to Copenhagen for $750 round trip. Having just paid almost $1400 for my flight to Oktoberfest this seemed like a great deal. And on top of that I had always wanted to go to Scandinavia. Something about it just piques my interest. When most people think of traveling to Europe they think of Italy and Spain and France. But not me. As much as I want to see those places as well I've always wanted to see the fjords in Norway. Or the Ice Hotel in Sweden. Or learn about the Vikings in Denmark. Scandinavia is an unheard of travel destination for most Americans. Maybe because it's so cold. But I've seen pictures of Norway. I know it's supposed to be awesome up there. So what if it's cold? I'm going to Scandinavia.

In the process of trying to find the best times to fly to Copenhagen I randomly find a flight to Stockholm for $578 round trip. I have to make a stop in Iceland on the way but still - less than 600 bucks for a flight to Europe? Where do I sign up? After booking my flight to Stockholm I decide to spend 2 days in each Scandinavian country and an extra day in Berlin. I only have one week, just enough time to soak up some culture in each country before heading back home. It's an ambitious itinerary but it can be done. To the land of the Vikings I go!

I'm flying out on Iceland Air on the last Saturday in March 2012. I've been in Chicago for work during the week so I fly back to Dulles Airport to catch the flight to Iceland. I sit at the bar next to the Iceland Air gate and have a few beers while watching the Elite 8 games. It's just over 5 hours to Reykjavik and I decide to watch Borat on the TV screens. I've seen the movie many times before but it's just too good not to watch again. Very nice.

When I arrive in Reykjavik it's not quite 7 AM. I have about 2 hours before my flight to Stockholm leaves so I decide to get some breakfast. I try some random Icelandic sandwich and a Viking Lite, only the finest of Iceland's beers. It's 5:00 somewhere. The second leg of the journey is considerably shorter and I arrive in Stockholm just after noon. Or shall I say I arrive to the airport, which is a whopping 40 kilometers from Stockholm. Is it even fair to call it the Stockholm Airport?

Even being so far from downtown, they still say you can get to the city in 20 minutes. That's because the Arlanda Express train travels at 200 km/hour and makes no stops till it gets to the Stockholm Central Train Station. That's awesome, right? Not so fast. A one way ticket to the city is 260 SEK. Type that conversion into Google. Yeah, $40 one way. You've got to be kidding me! Round trip saves you only $5 total, making the trip to the city and back to the airport $75. That's more than my flight to Norway tomorrow! It's about this point when I realize that Sweden is going to be very, very expensive.

I end up saving a few bucks after being told about the weekend return ticket discount. Since it's a Sunday you can get a round trip ticket for $50 each. I don't even want to think about how much a taxi costs for 40 km so I opt for the train. Down $50 already, I take my seat on the train and try to enjoy the ride as much as I can. Have to get my money's worth. There is wifi and electrical outlets. It's a very nice train. $2 per minute nice? I think not. It does move fast though. Before I know it I'm downtown.

It's the first day of April in Sweden and it's cold. Not too cold, but just above freezing. I knew this was coming though, so I'm prepared. My hotel isn't too far of a walk from the train station and I'm at the Scandic Sergal Plaza Hotel in no time. After checking in I decide that I don't need a nap and head out to hit the town. I only have one day and night here before heading off to other places and coming back on Saturday so I have a lot to see.

Having just read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I've mapped out a walking tour that takes me by various places from the book, including the bar where Lisbeth frequented in the stories and picked up lesbian lovers. There is an official guided tour called the Millennium Tour but it doesn't seem worth it so I do it myself. The Stockholm area is one big arpeggio, but the city is pretty small and easy to walk around. I stop at a little bar for my first Swedish beer on the Gamla stan island, which is the Stockholm old town and contains their royal palace as well as other historical buildings. I check out the palace before heading across another bridge to the Sodermalm island. On Sodermalm I step inside the Kvarnen bar and restaurant, Lisbeth's favorite hangout spot (http://www.kvarnen.com/en/intro/). It's quite dull on a Sunday afternoon but I have a beer anyways. There's a basement that is closed off. It looks pretty dark and creepy. That must be where Lisbeth picked up her lovers.

After multiple hours of walking around Stockholm I decide it's time for dinner. I head back to the hotel and shower and change. Time to hit the ATM again. How much to take out is the magic question. I leave for Norway tomorrow and they have different money. Don't want to take out too much. But then again a decent meal and a few beers could easily be $100 in Stockholm. I decide to take out about $100 and head off to try to find somewhere affordable to dine. As I'm walking around I spot a TGI Friday's. Great. This place is everywhere. I can't go to a foreign country and not see a TGI Friday's. But Stockholm takes the cake. As I'm standing in front of TGI Friday's I can literally see another TGI Friday's down the road. Seriously!? Is this the end of the world? Because that's what it looks like. Why does TGI Friday's need two restaurants within 1000 meters of each other in frikin Sweden!? Walking by, though, the place is packed. Apparently the Swede's love their TGI Friday's. That's nice, but I didn't come 4000 miles to go to an American chain restaurant no matter how expensive things are here.

I end up finding a barn-looking restaurant with reasonable prices (around $20-$25 USD per plate). It even includes a salad bar with the meals and the beers aren't too bad either. This isn't a nice place, however. It's a budget restaurant. My menu has the word "SLUT" written on it in big black letters. Maybe it means something different here? I order Swedish meatballs (I mean I am in Sweden) and they are not bad. It's no gourmet meal but it hits the spot.

After dinner I head out to try to find some bars, see what goes on in Stockholm on a Sunday night. The answer is nothing. I find one place that has a jazz band playing but that's it. It's actually quite crowded so I hang out here for a while, trying not to do the conversions of the beer prices in MY head. Too late. The cheapest beer on the menu is $11 a glass. And down goes Melbourne as the most expensive place I've ever been to drink. The Swede's make a lot of beer but none of them are particularly amazing. I notice that they have Brooklyn Lager on tap. This strikes me as odd since the Brooklyn Brewery is a small craft brewery in Brooklyn, New York. I wouldn't think they would distribute internationally. And there are no other American beers here. Then I notice that all the bartenders are wearing Brooklyn Brewery shirts. I ask the bartender about this and he says Brooklyn Brewery owns the bar or something like that. Pretty cool, I think, and buy the most expensive Brooklyn Lager I've ever had.

by 11:00 I decide that it's not worth staying out and drinking any more 11 dollar beers. I throw in the towel to my first night in Stockholm and head back to the hotel. I have a relatively early flight tomorrow to Bergen, Norway so a decent night's sleep sounds good right about now. I'll be back in Stockholm on Saturday night and I expect that to be quite different. I pass out peacefully.

I'm blessed with a clear day on Monday and the flight to Bergen is beautiful. We fly over Oslo and endless glaciers and snow-capped mountains on our way to western Norway and the famous fjords. Bergen is a small city of about 270,000 residents on the rugged west coast of Norway. It is considered the gateway to the fjords and is the main start and/or end point for travelers wishing to see the fjords. Norway is famous for its fjords, which are long, narrow inlets from the sea banked by steep cliffs created by glacial erosion. Fjords are a relatively rare geological feature, only found around the same latitude north or south of the equator. Other than Norway, only a few countries have fjords. These include Iceland, Greenland, New Zealand, Chile, Canada, and the US up in Alaska. While all these are beautiful in their own right the Norwegian fjords are considered the most magnificent. I will soon find out why.

I am staying in a hostel in Bergen. I wanted to stay in a hotel, but the prices are just too high. Even the hostel is about $45/night. I thought Sweden was expensive. Maybe I should have come to Norway first.... I take a cable car up to the top of a small mountain that forms the boundary of the city. The whole city is visible from here. And it's a very beautiful place. I spend a decent amount of time up at the top and buy some things from the gift shop before heading back down the mountain by foot. I spend a few hours exploring the city on foot before heading back to the hostel. It's a very small city and very walkable. There are a lot of people out shopping for a Monday afternoon. Must be rich.

I have two nights here in Bergen. Tomorrow I have to pick up a rental car from the airport at 9 AM and Wednesday I have a 9 AM flight to Copenhagen. So I decide tonight will be my night out in Bergen (I like to have at least one night out in each new city I'm in). I have a bottles of wine I bought from duty free in the airport so I bust that open and drink out of a coffee mug as I sit on the rooftop deck at the hostel. It's cold, but refreshing to be in the crisp Norwegian air. On my phone I Google places in Bergen that have any sort of drink or food specials on Monday nights. From walking around earlier it's clear to me that Norway is a step above Sweden in prices. I even walked inside a McDonald's to see the prices. A Big Mac (just the sandwich, not the meal) converted to over $16 USD. Yeah... gonna be a pricey couple of nights. Online I hear about a college bar right near the University of Bergen. If there's anywhere to get a cheap beer in Bergen it has to be the college bar. So as 6:00 rolls around I head out to the college bar right off campus.

There are a few people in the bar and a couple bartenders. They speak great English and ask me what the hell I'm doing in Bergen. They've never had an American in their bar before. I tell them I'm here to see the fjords. One of them has studied abroad in the US and starts asking me about football and my opinion on the upcoming elections. He says they have a special for Monday nights as well. "Horse Piss" beer is only about $7 per pint tonight. What a deal! They're typical beer is about $11-15 so this sounds good to me.

The "Horse Piss" beer tastes like Keystone or Natty, or any other budget light American beer. It's not good but it will have to do. After a few horse pisses I ask the bartender for some restaurant recommendations. He tells me to not waste my money - Norwegian food is not good. He says to go to the kebab place across the street, that I'll get a way better dinner there. I decide to trust his Norwegian wisdom and head off for a quick kebab before returning to the bar for more beer.

After a number of horse pisses I are pretty buzzed, enough to order a nice beer, which sets me back about $12, but it's so good compared to what I've been drinking up to this point. Eventually I decide to talk to the girls at the table next to me. I ask them (two of them) if they go to school here at the University. "No," they say. "We are in... how do you say... high school." Fuck me. Why does this always happen to me in Europe? Maybe it's because they all smoke and drink and look like they're 30. These girls are 18, though, in their final year at the local high school. So it's not quite as bad as the girl in Germany who told me she was 16....

The 18 year olds are friendly enough and even though I'm almost 10 years older than them it's either talk to them or continue sitting by myself. Before I know it it's almost midnight. Who knows how much money I have spent. The girls go to join some of their other friends on the other side of the bar and bid me farewell. I decide it's time for me to go too and head off. I have a lot of sightseeing to do tomorrow.

I've reserved a one-day rental car from AVIS at the Bergen airport for Tuesday morning for the staggering price of $230, making it the most expensive car I've ever rented by a factor of like 2.5. Even with the price tag, it's the cheapest way to explore the fjords. There are a ton of boat tours from Bergen, but they are all multiple hundreds of dollars. And I like the freedom of being able to choose my own route and schedule. My ultimate destination is Hardangerfjord, about 120 kilometers from Bergen. I've mapped out a road trip that covers about 350 kms in one day (just over 200 miles). It will take me across fjords on ferries, under tunnels through mountains, and along staggering cliffs above the water. It's a nice route that gives me plenty of time for stops and gets me back to Bergen by nightfall. I'll be passing by the Troll's Tongue (https://s3.amazonaws.com/vive_app/uploads/popular_goal/image/130/Trolls_tongue.jpg) but as much as I'd like to hike it (hope to one day...) it's about a 12 hour round trip hike so there's just no time.

If you didn't click on that link do yourself a favor and click on it now. That is why I am in Norway. Not just the Troll's Tongue, but for scenes like that. Turquoise blue water and cliffs rising from the sea into the clouds. The fjords are gorgeous. Each turn in the road leads to a new breathtaking scene. The peaks of the mountains are still covered in snow but the foothills are lush and green. Small towns dot the edges of the fjords. I can't help but think how awesome it must be to live there. I've come halfway around the world to see this scenery and these people wake up to it every day. I just hope they don't take it for granted.

Lunch consists of cold cut meet sandwiches from a grocery store in one of the small towns. That is about all I can afford after last night and this damn rental car. I take the ferry twice. Each journey is about $40. Damn. I keep passing toll's too. The car is equipped with a toll tag. Guess I'll have to wait and see the damage on those (turned out to be about $30 making the overall total of one day for the car about $400 with gas, tolls, and ferries, ugh). Most people in Norway speak great English, but some of the folks in the smaller towns speak no English at all. This proves difficult when trying to board and pay for a ferry. Language differences aside, I manage to board each ferry with no other problems. Riding across a Norwegian fjord on a ferry is an experience in itself. The boat chugs along as the mountains on one side get smaller and the mountains on the other side get bigger. I better stop taking so many pictures or I'm gonna be out of memory for the rest of the trip!

As the sun sets over Western Norway I arrive back in Bergen. The fjords have been incredible and I can only wish that I had more time to spend here. Back in Bergen I get a cheap dinner and explore the town a bit more after dark. I have an early flight to catch in the morning, though, so I can't stay out long. Plus $7 Horse Piss beers don't sound so good tonight. To bed it is.

Wednesday morning. It's time for my flight to Copenhagen, the capital of Denmark. After a short flight I arrive at the airport and take the train downtown. I am staying at a hotel near the central train station so it's quite convenient. I check in and head up to the room. After taking out some clothes I need to use the bathroom. I look around the room, then look again. No bathroom. What the hell? We're at a hotel right? I head down the hallway and eventually find communal bathrooms, like at a hostel. This is the first hotel I've ever stayed in a hotel with communal bathrooms. Maybe it's common in Copenhagen.

My first stop in Copenhagen is the Carlsburg Brewery. You've probably seen Carlsburg at bars in the US. It's the 4th largest brewing company in the world. (Do you know the top 3? Check it our here: http://www.top5ofanything.com/index.php?h=02e9e62c). So it gets around. They have breweries throughout the world but the main one is right here in Copenhagen. It's not too far from the hotel so I decide to walk. The campus is enormous, as you can imagine for a company the size of Carlsburg. There is no guided tour but I find a self-guided walking tour explaining the history of Carlsburg. After the short history lesson I head to the tasting bar. Unfortunately, unlike US breweries, they don't give you a free beer for coming by. I get a sampler of brews and wander the bar. Before I leave I purchase a reversible Carlsburg black and green beanie that will serve me for years to come.

On my way back to town I stop by a middle eastern buffet that has a special for only about $12. It's clear to me already that Denmark is cheaper than Sweden and Norway, but I assume once again that their food won't be anything special so opt for the buffet (though I wouldn't say Danish food is too great they do lay claim to the "Best Restaurant in the World" as determined by Restaurant Magazine with Noma (http://noma.dk/), but at about $300 per person and a 6 month waiting list for like 8 bites of food it's definitely not my kind of place). The buffet is good and fills me up to the point where I hopefully won't have to eat again, since it's already like 3 in the afternoon.

After eating I spend the rest of the day wandering around Copenhagen. The downtown area is very clean and attractive, with colorful buildings housing restaurants and bars where you can order beers to go. I head over to Kastellet, a star-shaped castle on the edge of downtown. Lots of people are running along the paths of the castle. It's a very popular spot. Near Kastellet is the Little Mermaid Statue. The popular fairly tale was written by Danish author Hans Christian Anderson and the statue was carved in 1913. It's a popular thing to see in Copenhagen, but doesn't warrant more than a minute to look at it and take a few pictures.

As the sun sets I head inside a random bar. It's a Wednesday night, but it's the Easter holiday for Danish students so the bars are pretty busy. I enter a dark bar full of young people (the drinking age in Denmark is like 16 even though you're supposed to be 18 to get into bars and clubs). Who knows how old some of these kids are. I order a beer and sit at the bar. The bartender is no older than 18 but is wearing a Florida Gators hat. I'm pretty sure he has no idea what he's wearing, probably just like the cartoon alligator.

After a few beers a group of girls walk in. They look American, and judging by the South Dakota State hoodies they are rocking they are from South Dakota. They are students there and are on a European trip. After chatting with them for a while I head off to another bar to meet some locals. I end up in a bar where people are drinking some red drink from beer buckets (like the kind of bucket you get when you order a bucket of beer). I'm immediately intrigued by this and ask a group of girls at a table what the deal is with the big red drink bucket. They say it's the bar's specialty and they have no idea what is in it but it's good. They let me try some and I talk with them for a while. One is 19 and married. So young!

Eventually I are pretty drunk. It's about 1 AM and I decide to head back into the street and see where the crowds are going. I settle on a bar on the main road that looks pretty big and hopping. I enter and am greeted with something that has never happened to me before. There are 2 random girls that want to buy me drinks. They can tell I'm American and want to talk to me. Not one to turn down a free drink, I let the girls buy me a drink. The night becomes fuzzy from here on out.

I spend countless hours here with the two locals drinking Carlsburg and doing shots. Next thing I know it's 4:30 in the morning. Things don't close here. I tell the ladies I have to leave. I step outside and I'm shocked by the scene outside of the bar. It's 4:30 in the morning - on a Wednesday night - and there is a line to get in to the bar! Where the heck am I? Don't these people ever sleep? Apparently not in Copenhagen. We stumble back to the hotel and I pass out.

Thursday is rough. I don't get out of bed till about 1:30 in the afternoon. I don't feel too hungover, just exhausted. That was one hell of a night. "Wednesday," I say to myself as I decide Copenhagen is awesome and must be out of control on a weekend. My plan today is to take the train over to Roskilde to see the Viking Ship Museum (http://www.vikingeskibsmuseet.dk/en/). The museum has a collection of the remains from old Viking ships from over 1000 years ago, along with new replica ships built using the tools they believed the Vikings used to make the original ships. Along with the ship remains, the museum also teaches you a lot about Viking culture. They were not very nice people. That whole "raping and pillaging" business you here about the Vikings? Well, that's pretty much the truth. They just left out the murder and human sacrifices. But they were adventurous people and had quite the empire back in the day.

Eventually I'm satisfied with my trip to the Viking Museum and head back to Copenhagen. I decide that tonight I'll finally have a real dinner at a decent restaurant. But first I have to hit up Christiania. What is Christiania? Glad you asked. You can read more about it and why it is the way it is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freetown_Christiania but basically it's a small walled sector of Copenhagen that doesn't really have any rules. It's known for being a place to legally buy marijuana. And not from sketchy drug dealers - from booths set up on the street. It's like the DC 101 Chili Cookoff. But instead of chili, it's pot. There are tons of booths, everyone selling their own product. Even though it's legal, I still don't want to try it. But I walk around taking in the sites and sounds of Potville.

On top of weed, lots of the people in the village are high on something else. What? I don't know, but some people are definitely tripping. After a man asks me to watch his wheelbarrow I start to feel a bit uncomfortable and desire to get back to non-drug-filled Copenhagen. I wish I had some pictures of this place but taking photographs is strictly prohibited by the locals. When someone takes out their camera everyone yells at them and gets very defensive. If I were to take a picture it would look a little like this: http://womanseeksworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Christiania-Copenhagen-51.png. I decide not to push my luck.

After Christiania I head to Nyhvan, the street with all the restaurants right on the water. I randomly choose a place and sit inside, as it's starting to get cold. The food is nothing special but it's nice to have a local meal for once on this trip (other than my cheap Swedish meatballs). After dinner I hit up some of the bars on Nyhvan.

I'm in and out of bars until around 10:30 when I'm walking down the main entertainment street. All of a sudden four gorgeous blonde girls are in front of me, all dressed up. They are definitely going out somewhere. I don't have to think about this one for too long. I am going where they are going.

Eventually I am led to the line for a club off of one of the side streets. The 4 blondes jump the line and get right in. I head to the back and wait for the club to open up to non gorgeous women at 11:00. In line I meet Magnus, a 19 year old Jacksonville Jaguars fan who's never been to the States. Why the Jaguars? I ask. He wanted to pick a team that didn't have a lot of fans so naturally he chose Jacksonville. I tell him to go to Jacksonville and they'll be begging for fans. I talk with Magnus and his friend for about 30 minutes while we wait in line. Finally, just after 11:00 the line starts moving and we enter. It's about a $20 cover. Not bad, considering you'll pay more to go to a club in Vegas.

Inside, the place is small. But it's packed. And not just packed - packed with gorgeous women. Some random dude says it's some sort of Abercrombie model party. This is not hard to believe. I've entered some sort of Danish gold mine of women. They are all thin. They are all blonde. And they are all hot. And young, they're young too. I am definitely the oldest one in the bar. Whatever. Places like this only exist in my mind in the States. I have an early flight the next morning but I can't pass up the opportunity to party with the Abercrombie models. Eventually I tire and make my way back to the hotel. Surely the younger folks party till sunrise. But sunrise for me means heading to the airport for my flight to Berlin.

I've been to Germany before (see "Oktoberfest!"), but never made it out of Bavaria. Berlin is a totally different place. As you (should) know, it was basically the center of the Cold War. The Berlin Wall split East and West Germany until 1989 when it was torn down, leading to the unification of Germany a year later. If you don't know the history behind the Berlin Wall I encourage you to read about it. It's quite fascinating.

It's also quite fascinating that some portions of the wall still exist in Berlin. This is one of the main reasons I have chosen to venture out of Scandinavia for a day and see Berlin. I arrive early on Friday morning. It's Good Friday, a holiday in Germany, so a lot of things will be closed. Hopefully this won't be a problem. I check into my hotel early and they have a room ready for me. Around 10 AM I venture out to explore Berlin. I check out some massive cathedrals and museums before heading over to the Berlin TV Tower (http://www.tv-turm.de/en/index.php), one of the tallest structures in Europe. I'm looking forward to going up to the top and getting a birds eye view of Berlin. Then I see the line. How many hundreds of people are in this line I can't even venture a guess. With only one day in Berlin I decide I can't waste two or three hours waiting in this line. I check out some gift shops nearby where I buy a piece of the Berlin Wall. You can buy actual small chunks of concrete from the wall at a lot of places in town. Not a bad souvenir.

I stop for lunch at a small cafe near the tower and order some beers and water. Water does not come free at restaurants in Germany. When you ask for water at a restaurant you get a big glass bottle of water. At this restaurant the water costs 4 Euros. The beer? 3.50. Yes, beer is cheaper than water in Berlin. No wonder the Germans drink so much. After lunch I walk around some more then head back to the hotel. I've picked out a beer garden to go to dinner at in old East Berlin. Near the beer garden is one of the places you can see the original wall still in tact. It's near the Friedrich Ludwig Jahn Sportspark and it's my next destination.

The Berlin wall is covered in graffiti literally an inch thick. It's been here over 50 years and has been spray painted quite a few times. You can't see over the wall. It's high, but not too high to climb, I decide. I imagine myself being an East German resident wanting to escape to West Germany. The wall would be tough to climb, though, for other reasons. Even if you manage to get on top of it, one of the armed officers in the watch towers is likely to spot - and shoot you - before you get over. It's a chilling thought. Today, this remaining portion of the wall stands solely as a reminder of the Soviet rule in East Germany. I soak it in for a while before heading back towards the city.

Dinner is at Prater Garten (http://www.pratergarten.de/e/index.php), one of the most famous beer gardens in Berlin. The outdoor beer garden is enormous but there is no one outside - it's far too cold. In the beer garden stands an old watch tower, another reminder of the past. I head inside and order some beers and food. At the table next to me there are a couple American students studying abroad. I ask them for some bar recommendations and he suggests we go to a place called "Pong," where they are going to meet up with some people later. With no other ideas I head there after dinner. It's also in old East Berlin and as I walk further into East Berlin I begin to see why the East Germans wanted to escape to West Germany....

The buildings are old and all look the same, just dark concrete boxes with few windows. Although it's been part of unified Germany for over 20 years I figure it must have looked very similar, if not the same, during Soviet rule. The part of town I'm in is fairly depressing. I am definitely in a poorer part of Berlin. I'm excited and a bit nervous to check out this bar. Here goes nothing....

I find the bar. It's just an old wooden door that says "Pong" on top. There are no windows and the wall looks like it hasn't been washed since... ever. This should be interesting. I enter and immediately step back into the past. This is what bars in East Germany must have looked like during Soviet rule. There are no windows. The walls are thick, solid concrete with graffiti scattered around. There is one ping pong table where some dudes are playing a very serious game. There is one small bar, no longer than 10 feet, with one bartender working. It's dark and cold and smells of communism. Good ole East Germany.

I order a beer and take a seat by the ping pong table. But this isn't just any beer. It's "Bier" beer, a bottle of beer with a plain white label that literally just says "BIER." This is the equivalent to ordering a beer at a bar in the US and getting a plain white can that just says "beer" on it. I've never seen anything like this before. This must be some decedent of Soviet Government issued beer from the '80s. Maybe not, but I like to think that.

These guys playing ping pong are pretty good. I get in one game but my skills are embarrassing compared to these pros. The American kids from dinner eventually show up, but they are in a big group and not eager to hang out with my old ass. After about an hour at Pong I head off back towards downtown and walk into a hookah bar. I don't try the hookah but get some fancy drinks. Here I meet Sebastian, a 19 year old local who knows a whole lot about American politics. We chat for a while and become Facebook friends before I head off.

Sebastian has recommended a bar on the other side of the river where the beer prices change every minute. It's called the Beer Market, and it is operated like the stock market. Beers that are not as popular are cheaper to buy. But once people start buying those beers they will increase in price as demand increases. Then other beers will fall in price. The lowest price is set at 1.60 Euros and there is no upper limit. It's a neat concept and it always allows you to order something cheap. I stay here for a while playing the beer market then head off just before midnight. I have an 8 AM flight back to Stockholm tomorrow so I can't stay out too late.

As I'm about to walk into the hotel I notice an odd bar across the street. It looks like something from the 1920s. I go in and basically step into a Great Gatsby party. The whole bar is decorated like it was the roaring '20s all over again. Berlin certainly has some eclectic drinking establishments. From a famous German beer garden I've hit an old East German Soviet looking bar, a hookah lounge, a stock market themed bar, and now a 1920s themed bar. I kind of want to keep this night going to see what's next, but it's getting late and my flight is not too far in the future. I head back to the room and pass out. Only one more day and it's back to reality for me.

It's an early Saturday morning as I catch the train to the airport. It's a quick flight over to Stockholm and I'm there by 9 AM. I fork up the absurd amount of money for the Arlanda Express train again and I'm downtown in no time. This time around, I am staying at the Nordic Sea Hotel, which is famous mainly for one thing: it has the original Ice Bar (https://www.nordicchoicehotels.com/nordic-resort/nordic-sea/featured-amenities/icebar/). You might have seen ads for -5, the Ice Bar in Las Vegas. It's in Mandalay Bay. There's one in Orlando now as well, and ice bars are popping up all around the world. But this is the original. The concept is simple: it's below freezing and everything is made of ice. The bar is ice, the decorations are ice, even the glasses are ice. As you can imagine, they can't serve beer at this bar, being that it's kept at a constant -5 degrees Celsius. The only thing you can drink is vodka. They have a limited menu of vodka drinks the choose from. But they don't have to have the best drinks ever. It's a gimmick bar. People come here to drink from cups of ice while freezing their asses off, not to have craft beers.

I plan on coming back to the Ice Bar tonight, but it's still morning and I have the whole day ahead of me. The main attraction for today is the Vasa Museum. This is a unique museum since it is basically just a structure built around an old warship from the 1600s. You know how you see a ship in a bottle and wonder how it got in there? Those are built inside the bottle using hand tools. This is the opposite. The ship was put there and then the building was built around it. As a structural engineer I find this pretty cool. The building isn't supposed to be the main attraction though, it's the ship.

The Vasa warship sunk on it's maiden journey, just like the Titanic. But it didn't make it quite as far. It sunk less than a mile away from where it set sail. It was under Stockholm harbor for hundreds of years until 1961 when the last remaining pieces were salvaged (http://www.vasamuseet.se/en/The-Ship/Important-dates/). It's quite the impressive ship and is in remarkable condition today, having been preserved underwater for so many years. I explore every inch of the museum and end up spending a few hours inside.

Back outside, it's getting colder and I am pretty exhausted from the week so I go back to the hotel to rest and nap. After getting a quick dinner it's time for the Ice Bar. The cover is about $30, which includes one drink. Once you pay the cover you are given a thick coat and gloves because you know, it's cold in there. Even with the coat they encourage you to not stay in the bar for more than 30 minutes at a time. There is a warm "screening area" where you are allowed to exit to without really leaving. Once in the screening area you can go back into the bar whenever you want. The screening area also has a bar.

Once my coat is on I are ready for the ice. I enter and immediately I'm greeted by fancy ice sculptures and friendly bartenders. I get a red vodka drink and start sipping from my ice cup. I've never drank from a cup made of ice before so this is pretty cool. Good thing I have my gloves. The bar itself is small. The room is no bigger than 40 feet by 40 feet. But you can imagine the cost of keeping that room so cold so I don't blame them for not making it bigger. I check out all the sculptures and take more pictures than I really need to. This place is a novelty, a gimmick. But it's cool to be in the original Ice Bar. In 2 years of living in Vegas I never once went to the Ice Bar in Mandalay Bay (clearly I knew I would one day be coming to Stockholm and go to the original) but I'm glad I'm here now. Next I guess I'll have to stay in the Ice Hotel (http://www.icehotel.com/about-icehotel/). That's in northern Sweden above the arctic circle!

After about a 45 minutes at Ice Bar I am ready to go. It's cold and I want to hit a giant bar I walked by today that looks pretty awesome. When I arrive there is a decent sized line. But that's okay it seems to be moving pretty fast. I pay the cover and enter what appears to be some old mansion turned into a bar. This place is enormous. There are 3 levels, bars left and right, dance floors, sitting areas, balconies and patios. Looks like we chose the right place to go.

Over the next few hours we explore every nook and cranny of the bar, making friends with one of the outdoor bartenders along the way. As the night wares on I've gotten pretty buzzed. I make friends with some local girls and spend the rest of the night with them. At 3 AM I'm finally ready to go home but stop by McDonald's on the way home for a late night burger, because apparently that's what everyone does in Stockholm. McDonald's is full of gorgeous, thin, blonde women. I wonder how they stay so thin when they get drunk and eat McDonald's. Must be those Scandinavian genes.

The next morning I'm pleased to see that I have survived Scandinavia. As I head back to the airport to fly home I can't help but think that people are missing out by not visiting this part of the world. Yes, it's cold. But if you come in the summer it is fine and it's light almost all night. Even in April it wasn't so cold that I couldn't deal with it. The Scandinavians are warm and friendly people and love to show off their country, whether that be Sweden, Norway or Denmark (technically Finland is not part of Scandinavia). And the women. I'm sure the dudes are just as pretty, I just don't take notice to that. Especially since there is a herd of hot blonde girls right over there. Scandinavia is a beautiful part of the world and if it's in your budget it's definitely worth a visit. And if you're in Germany Berlin is a must-see destination. If you end up at that sketchy Soviet era ping pong bar drink a "BIER" for me. Enjoy!

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