10k's World Cup Preview - Part II

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Well, the first round is over and I am officially Deutschland'd OUT. The atmosphere was unparalleled, and 2 of my 3 teams advanced to the knockout rounds, but in the end, the crowds, mayhem and hot weather wore me down. Thankfully, I am now in Stockholm (where the exchange rate puts me over 100kJuan) staying with family and waiting for my Nobel Prize (tourism, duh).

As I finish my World Cup blogs (thank you TravelBlog for having your servers down during peak blog time THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW), I felt it was prudent to post my 2nd-round predictions before you call me out for predicting the winners AFTER the games were played (Note: this is basically the case anyway with only 2 games left before the quarters, but whatever, it's my blog and I make the rules).

Having already used women as the determining factor (and predicting 13 out of 16 qualifiers), I think we'll go the same route for the "knockout" round, but with a little more of a personal touch. No more stereotypes, we're breaking down the individual players this time (that's right, I am practically BEGGING for user comments at this point... thanks for the emails and messages though). That being said, this is an excellent time to respond to all the fan inquiries concerning 10kGal since her ill-conceived visit during World Tour I last year. The 10kGal Log was never completed and I'm back in Europe sans Gal, so what gives?

Well, 10kGal is basically no more (which is really sad, cause I won't get to use my mail-order bride joke anymore when I introduce her to strangers). No, I didn't trade her to an Italian guy for my Ecuador/Costa Rica ticket like I told the Univision reporter, but she IS in Italy and no longer an active groupie. In the end, I think it came down to THREE things:

1) She was consistently later than me (which if you ask any of my former bosses, defies the laws of physics)

2) She was Americanized (i.e. didn't like to cook/clean/iron)

3) She didn't go bi-sexual

Okay fine, those weren't REALLY the determining factors, but they would've definitely helped the cause (ask my PRIOR ex).

The bottom line is there is an opening for the next 10kGal which will be filled at a much later date. In the meantime, in order to increase efficiency and earnings, her responsibilities will instead be handled by interns, co-workers and temps (just like my former employer would do... rhymes with Franklin Templeton).

Now, without further ado, here are the BEST OF THE BEST, knockouts from EACH COUNTRY (and I repeat, from my OWN experience) slated HEAD-TO-HEAD, each responsible for their nation's fate, unbeknownst to them (until NOW, that is):

ENGLAND vs. ECUADOR
There's Nina, the brains behind the English attack, responsible for the now-infamous "I've been JUAN'd" shirt.

Pia, the aggressive midfielder who didn't kick me out of bed and admittedly said "we totally should've done it in the laundromat", and Katherine, the joyous striker who kept me on my toes all night before our early morning practice session in the Parque de Buen Retiro in Madrid. All in all, a strong English attack.

As for Ecuador, who better to spearhead the offense than the former 10kGal herself? Full of energy and always eager to risk big in order to score, the Gal can hold her own with the world's best on the pitch.

Her supporting cast is a collection of underrated athletes who, similar to Brazilian stars, need but one name. Curly. Luz. Cielo. True, each of the names are indeed FAKE (and translate to Curly, Light and Sky, respectively), but make no mistake, their skills are REAL.

In the end, this close matchup comes down to one thing: Motivation. The Ecuadorians are content to have gotten this far and know they peaked early, whereas the English have been here before. Many times. I mean LOTS. They can taste it. They WANT to taste it. They want more. And they'll do ANYTHING to make sure the result is the one they desire (remember, "change to Baker Street" is an ENGLISH expression).

Winner: ENGLAND


GERMANY vs. SWEDEN
Having stayed with 4 different hosts during my World Cup tear, I have to repeat that it is VERY difficult to deny the host nation in a tournament of this caliber. With talent of all ages (as I found out in Cologne), and home-field advantage, Deutschland will be tough to stop. As for specific players, I am prohibited on commenting on one in specific due to contractual agreements, but just know that she plays forward and is very unselfish both on and off the field.

As for Sverige, it's difficult to say based on the fact that the only player I encountered was during Midsummers Night on Friday. To spoil my unreleased blog a bit, the matchup lacked team chemistry and communication on the pitch, resulting in a failed scoring chance for the Swedes, and an early exit in the knockout rounds.

Winner: GERMANY


ARGENTINA vs. MEXICO
Well, there's my stepsister's cousins and sisters-in-law, all of which I call my future ex-wives, and then there's the whacky Argentinian girl who invited me and one of my hosts back to her and her roomie's place only to intoxicate us with well vodka and put us to sleep. Actually, let's knock her out of the starting lineup altogether and focus on the future ex-wives.

South of the border, the versatile Estie leads the way for the determined Mexicans. Well-travelled and full of heart, her wild play creates matchup problems for most comers, as she is difficult to contain. Still, there is only so much ONE player can do in futbol, and unfortunately, the Mexicans have been unable to produce any other playmakers. The Che's advance on depth with a difficult matchup ahead against the host nation's squad.

Winner: ARGENTINA


NETHERLANDS vs. PORTUGAL
Maybe we should've used food or something.

Despite my 2-week romp through Portugal, my exposure to the local talent was limited, and the only striker I came across in the Netherlands was known simply as MaryJane. As a result, I'll have to once again use motivation as the determining factor, and with the Netherlands', err, laid-back mentality, Portugal should come one step closer to their dream showdown with Brazil.

Winner: PORTUGAL


ITALY vs. AUSTRALIA
Constantly complaining to the officials and prone to cheat, the Italian captain (let's call her Miss Guido, if you will) is relentless in her pursuit for victory, stopping at nothing to move to the next round. While her ultra-tight defense can frustrate opponents and teammates alike, you'll be hard-pressed to find someone who puts forth more effort on the pitch than 10k's former lady.

As for the Socceroos, there's plenty of no-namers (I can't remember them, really) capable of making an impact. The Ibiza pension-mate, for example, who waited patiently for her guy friends to pass out before her corner kick attempt, a perfect example of the Aussie aggressiveness that makes them competitive in any encounter.

In the end, expect the Italians to lie, cheat, steal and do anything else they can to secure the quarterfinal spot. The Aussies just aren't used to playing this dirty outside of the rugby grounds.

Winner: ITALY


UKRAINE vs. SWITZERLAND
Once again, perhaps food or beer would've been better.

With zero exposure to Switzerland talent aside from the lovely nurse in Interlaken who applied my eyedrops, this matchup will be decided by the lone Ukrainian I've defended against. I met the whacky pharmaceutical sales rep (no clue what her name was either) at the Grove in Miami and I have to admit, despite the language barrier, her front line was massive, a tough tackle for any defender. Unfortunately, the match was stopped early due to a teammate of hers being red-carded from the bar for unsportsmanlike conduct. Still, with neutral Switzerland looking for penalty kicks, expect Ukraine to represent Eastern Europe well (until Estonia can qualify) and advance to the quarters.

Winner: UKRAINE


BRAZIL vs. GHANA
In other words: Second-round bye.

Winner: BRAZIL


SPAIN vs. FRANCE
Toughest matchup of the round of 16 in my book.

Spain is lead by the likes of Marta, the eccentric striker I met in Cork during World Tour I, and my lovely San Sebastian guide whose name I've also forgotten. Honorable mention to the reserves from Malaga who were part of the opposing race team in my "Sandwiched in Madrid" blog entry. Also, the bikini-clad cutie I got into a personal grudge match with at "La Tomatina" last year. Good times.

France contributed a groupie promo to the site last year, but most French contributors were born elsewhere and came over temporarily for some playtime. This being the World Cup though, they are ineligible, leaving way too many spots to fill against a hungry, unified Spanish powerhouse. For added effect, the reserves come straight from my family's hometown of Santander, where the family-owned puti-bar is constantly developing fast-scoring prospects for the waning minutes of the night.

Winner: SPAIN


That's all for Round 2. As for the quarters, here are my picks:

GERMANY over Argentina
ITALY over Ukraine
BRAZIL over Spain
ENGLAND over Portugal

The winner of the Germany/Argentina showdown takes the Cup.

Enjoy the action. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some Swedes to console.

10kJuan

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Photos

Making friends at the World Cup
Priceless.

England's Captain
Nina (in Barcelona during WT I)

Ecuador's Captain
10kGal (Halloween night, '05 in Miami)

German defender
Kickin' it with 10k in Hamburg

Scouting out Portugal
I came. I saw. I see them advancing.