Barcelona

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We arrived in Barcelona at 3pm Friday afternoon. The weather much like Madrid was really
nice, about 75 degrees sunny. After getting off the eurail, our first mission was getting to our hostel.
Using the map and getting directions from locals we found it with relative ease.

After getting into our room we dropped our stuff and planning for the 3 days we were there got
underway. Once we got a rough idea of what we were doing the next few days we headed to George
Orwell plaza for some cheap yet satisfying food recommended to us by our receptionist.

On the way to George Orwell, not knowing any better, we decided to walk down a street
infamous for prostitution. A local recognized that we were “Indian” and attempted to talk to me in
Hindi. I, thinking she was a friendly local, stopped to converse with her. When I told her I was heading
to George Orwell plaza for food, she asked me if I wanted to fuck first! And when I refused this kind
gesture she asked if I preferred a blow job instead. Refusing all sexual favors from this woman, she
became flustered and called me a “ghandu benchod” as I walked away. At this point I realized that she
was actually a not so friendly prostitute

A little bit more wary of the street we were on, we finally reached George Orwell where we ran
into a couple of hoboes (gender ambiguous) that were duking it out for territorial rights. Fortunately
no one was hurt as the fight was broken up. We found a cheap falafel place, grabbed our dinner and
headed back home to take a quick nap before our night out.

Our nap, not so quick after all, had us running late. The last train to our “cloob” of choice, jk it
was a club called Otto Zutz, stopped running at 2am. Waking up at 1:45am we suited up and sprinted to
the train station arriving just as one of the employees was closing the gate to the station. Hearing our
train arrive as we entered the station, Nabeel began to panic! Dictating that he did not have enough
time to figure out how to open the station gates, he decided to sneak in behind a rando. He was not
successful. The gates shut on Nabeel when he was only half way through. He squirmed trying to slip
through much like a fish that is out of water. However, he half redeemed himself as he snuck in behind
me on his 2nd attempt.

Our destination, Otto Zutz, was very unique in the sense that it had 3 floors each with a different
brand of music and a tranny. The first floor was hip-hop, r&b, and reggaeton (our favorite floor and
the one occupied by the tranny – not correlated), the 2nd was 80s and 90s music, and the 3rd floor was
house.

Note: Wooing foreign girls is infinitely more difficult when you cannot speak their language.

We ended up leaving the club at 5am but our night did not end here. The next phase of
our night was the birth of “cub on ground.” Lopey, emulating Madrid’s “bear on tree” (the national
symbol previously defiled by me), attempted to scale an innocent tree on a sidewalk. To his dismay he
unsuccessfully tumbled to the ground, hence the name “cub on ground.” This was a very important
event as it would mark the origin of our bear motif throughout our trip.

Following up our previous success, we hopped the train station gates again on our way home and went

to bed around 6 am.

Consequently Day 2 of Barcelona began at 4pm. Saturday was our scooter tour, in other words
we drove around on a couple of scooters looking at cool shit. On arrival of the scooters to our hostel,
the owner asked us if we had ever ridden scooters before. Not having done so, we obviously lied
(except Simran who has had experience) despite the dangers of riding a scooter in a city we have never
been to, traffic signs in espaniol, odd looking roundabouts, and optional traffic lanes. Astonished that
someone would lend us their scooters an entire day for just 8 euros a scooter (we rented 2), we hit
the streets. Starting off by practicing for about 10 minutes in small alleyways, we progressed to roads
with other cars, and eventually got to the highways (not on purpose). Some of us were naturally more
comfortable on the scooters than others, actually all of us were for the most part except Lopey. His idea
of sitting second fiddle was straddling the driver and clenching at every turn and acceleration. Our first
stop was a remote area after a turnabout. It was a breathtaking view of the city which we took multiple
moments to appreciate. We carried on our adventure by storming onto the highways with a grand
entrance of 30 km/hr! That was how fast Lopey was going as he attempted to merge with oncoming
traffic that was going 70 km/hr. Stuck behind him on the ramp, Sammy and I furiously honked the horn
trying to encourage Lopey to speed up in fear of being trampled by much larger vehicles. Fortunately,
we somewhat blended in with traffic though there were a few disgruntled drivers and it was obvious we
were noobs.

Eager to get off the highway, we took the next exit and ended up in a remote fenced off
graveyard city. Not knowing we were in a deserted town with a bunch of graves, we decided to slip
through an open crease in the fence. What we found was intense biblical architecture and shelves of
coffins (see pictures). The more and more we explored, the eerier the place seemed so we decided to
bounce. We hit the road again and made our way to Barcelona’s beach. As we took a stroll along the
beach we found a few locals playing futbol. This was fairly common in the Spanish cities we visited,
except that there was one dude playing in a mankini (the same that Sasha Baren Cohen sports as Borat)!
And if you care to know he had not shaved his pubes (see video and pictures). After we were done
enjoying the game 😉 we walked onto a pier and enjoyed the view that it had to offer.

The next stop on our scooters was FC Barcelona’s futbol stadium. Located a little farther from
our hostel, the stadium was a little more difficult to find. Driving around for a bit we ended up in Piazza
Espania (particularly beautiful at night) at which point we decided to take a break and get some dinner.
Not having any paella (an authentic Spanish dish with rice, steamed vegetables, and seasoning) yet, we
stopped at a small restaurant within our budget to get some. The meal was very filling and we topped
it off with catalan crème, a custard like crème glazed with a layer of hardened smoky sugar (Lopey did
not want to go home). Our hunger satisfied, we returned to our scooters to find the elusive futbol
stadium. Confused by the one way streets leading to and from the plaza, we took an easier but illegal
approach by driving on the sidewalks. Locals were not very happy, but we were We finally made it to
our destination only to realize we were not permitted into the premises. No matter, we drove around
to get a look of the outside of the stadium and saw what seemed to be a few of Barcelona’s players
walking into the building (one of them looked like Iniesta).

As it started to rain we hurriedly mounted our scooters and tried to head back to our hostel
which was located on the other side of Barcelona. As the rain picked up, it became increasingly difficult
to control the scooter. I even ended up in the middle of an intersection as the scooter’s tires gave out at
a stoplight. Fortunately I managed to reverse back before cars at the other stoplight began crossing the
intersection. Eventually we made it home. Tired from the adventure-packed day we did not go out and
headed to our room as we were greeted by a slow drawn out fart from one of the girls sleeping in our 8
bedroom dorm. We concluded our night with a good laugh.

Day 3 began with the Gaudi Tour. We woke up to our usual breakfast in Barcelona (toast, jam
nutella, butter, orange juice, whole milk, frosted flakes, and Lopey’s favorite sugarless cocoa pebbles),
threw on some clothes, brushed our teeth, and joined our Gaudi Tour group in the hostel lobby where
we walked to Plaza Reial to meet our cute tour guide from Prague. She started off by pointing out some
elaborate lamp posts in the plaza which marked the beginning of Gaudi’s architectural career and gave
us a brief history of his childhood and early career. Basically he was a genius talent that was somewhat
of a rebel and quirk. Next we headed to the train station. Experts in Barcelona’s metro system now,
we hopped the gates and avoided paying unlike the rest of the tour group. The first major building we
saw was Palace Guell, which was made for a very wealthy businessman named Eusebi Guell. The palace
was known for the iron-work which looked like seaweed and its arches. The second building we saw
was Casa Batillo’. I have never seen a building like this. The pillars on this building looked like human
bones, the roof like the scales of a dragons back (to commemorate the legend of Batillo’ who apparently
slayed a dragon), and the balconies like human skulls! Also the insides of this structure were so trippy
that mothers covered their children’s eyes when walking by the building to prevent them from seeing
it, a testament to Gaudi’s revolutionary designs (reminds me of watching Titanic with mummy). The 3rd
building we saw was one that looked like a huge melting cake. This structure has no edges and has a
bird hidden in the metalwork of the 3rd floor balcony to symbolize a bird shitting on the inhabitant of
the 2nd floor room (Gaudi’s revenge on a woman who disapproved of his architectural designs). The
last stop on the Gaudi Tour was Sagrada Familia. This building encompasses the term “manana” in its
entirety; the term the Spanish are infamous for due to their tendency to procrastinate. The Sagrada
Familia, not to be completed till 2026, will have taken 200 years to finish. 200 years may be a bit
unnecessary, but the intricate and elaborate designs on the building make it apparent why it might
take such a long time. The Sagrada Familia was the work that defined Gaudi’s career. The scale of the
project was too large for it to be completed in Gaudi’s lifetime, but Gaudi did leave models and sketches
for other architects to follow and eventually complete his greatest masterpiece. In the end Gaudi got hit
by a trolley and died, ironic because he had an odd phobia of trolleys his whole life. He never rode one
for this very reason.

After taking a breather in a nice park next to the Sagrada Familia, we headed to Barcelona’s
Picasso Museum. Packed with a long line, we headed to a popular shopping area for some souvenirs.
Nabeel and Sammy got themselves shotglasses, Lopey an Espania shirt for his brother, and I a Messi
jersey for mine. We headed back to the Picasso Museum and were greeted by a much shorter line. The
museum was very easy to follow. Picasso’s works were in chronological order, the transformation of
his work over the years was made apparent, and captions revealed relevant historical information. We

had the priviledge of seeing “Aunt Pepe,” which was his frist large oil painting submitted at the college
he attended. Picasso’s beginning with landscape art, his study of the human body, portraits, the blue/
green period, the cubism/divisionism phase, and lastly his work with clay were all on display for us to
see.

Our last stop of the day was the Magic Fountain, a combination of lights, water, and music in
the form of a show (see video). This is a great place to take a date if you’re in Barcelona 😉. The only
downside is the guaranteed crowd there; you and your date will not be alone. Enjoying the show and
lounging by the fountain for a couple hours, we at falafel for dinner, of course, and headed back to our
hostel.

Next stop: Roma.
Zunail

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