Daughter's Lesson.

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The play started at 7 so everyone met at the school at 5 to get ready. My costume was Jamie's grey trousers, a white dress shirt and matching bow-tie, a bottle green butler's jacket and the valenki. My twenty minutes in make-up involved a man squeezing an entire tube of hair gel over my head, combing my hair into an 19th century centre parting and sticking some of my fringe to my forehead with glue. Then my sideburns came out of the box. They were big bushy ones that were also glued to my face - then ripped off and put in the right place. The sisters Fekla and Lukerya (Louise and Sarah) had white gowns and tall wigs, one with a ship on the top and one with a garden. Baron Vel'karya (Chris J) wore a grey wig and beard and the dancing girls - Bhav, Emma, Dawn, Precious and Sara - all wore silk dresses of different colours. As annoying as the experience was we all looked great at the end. The most nervous person in the dressing room was Natasha Safronova, speaking even faster than usual and throwing clothes at us!

I was on stage from the first scene, but for half an hour all Sidorka needed to do was sit on a bench and look posh. About 50 people came to the classroom and the front row was less than a metre from the 'stage'. In the audience were all of the Yartek teachers with partners, all of the students who didn't take part, some friends of Laura and Louise's from their institute and most of the casts' hozyaikas. Including Tamara Aleksandrovna in her best blouse and shawl, smiling at me from the third row. Her being there made me even more nervous. I didn't expect her to come; I only invited her in a mumble last night and she didn't mention the play all afternoon!

We started seriously but the atmosphere soon became really warm. The cast even broke into giggles a few times when things didn't go to plan: Dasha (Laura) was left holding her pony tail when her hair extensions came out soon after the start, then a minute later she threw an apple away in the middle of a dance - which bounced off the piano with a thump and rolled across the stage! The audience clapped along with our dances and laughed even when we didn't expect them to. They obviously enjoyed it even more for our mistakes and pauses.

What made it such a good night was the way all of the main parts brought the spektakl to life. Jamie played Semyon brilliantly, a young villager in love with Dasha who pretends to be a fancy French marquis to get some money for their wedding. Chris J was the perfect rich Russian landowner and strict father. He also sang twice and played a traditional folk song on the balalaika. His daughters Sarah and Louise were very entertaining spoiled rich girls who adore French society.

After the sexy babushka dance came my first line: "Petrovna, which one of us is the Frenchman who speaks Russian?" Then another dance where I vaulted over a bench to hide from the dancing girls, then my only monologue. I apologise to Fekla for speaking so rudely then hand the marquis his coat. I got my lines right but it seemed to take forever!

I left the stage then came back a while later. I needed a prompt for my next two lines, the first time because Dasha said hers so quietly I didn't hear my cue, the second when she re-phrased her speech so I didn't know it was my turn! I didn't act particularly well but no-one seemed to notice, and my dancing - even the Cossack leg kicks at the wedding party at the end - was ok.

Afterwards our teachers came to congratulate us. Olga was giggling even more than usual, still singing the valenki song to herself!

And so the Yartek class of 2005 become video number 25 on Natasha Safronova's shelf in her living room. I think she will enjoy watching it again.

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