Portugal - Obrigado To Oporto

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It was clear as soon as we entered Portugal that, even by European standards, their drivers are complete lunatics. Every car journey seems to be treated as if it’s a Formula One GP and the fact that we’re travelling on a British plate makes us a target for “special treatment”. Some of the manoeuvres we’ve seen have been outrageous and speed limits appear to be of as much use as a trophy cabinet to Manchester City. Thankfully though, both us and Bella (Angela’s pet name for her car - no idea why...................) are still in one piece and going strong.

As we made our over the border from Spain and headed south through Portugal it soon became obvious this is another country with many areas of extraordinary beauty. First stop was in Ponte de Lima, a charming place named after the low Roman stone bridge that spans its wide but shallow river. A bustling market town, the streets and squares were so quaint they looked like they could have been created as the set for a Disney movie. Next up was a flying visit to Guimaraes, birthplace of Portugal’s first King, Afonso Henriques in 1110 and once the nation’s capital. After a stroll uphill along its cobbled alleys you eventually reach the imposing Castillo (castle) which watches over the town from on high. Built in the 10th century, its purpose was to protect the monastery it contains from marauding Moors and Normans and provided a fascinating insight into what life was like back then.

After an overnight stay in the functional but uninspiring seaside resort of Viana do Castelo, it was off to the main destination of this leg, namely Oporto. Neither of us really knew what to expect from Portugal’s second city and it was a pleasant surprise when we arrived. Built along the Rio Douro (River of Gold), it’s a place that oozes charm and atmosphere from the narrow alleys that scramble up its rocky north bank. Whichever city we go to, walking is always our preferred method of transport as not only do you get great exercise, you also see a lot more too. In truth though, you don’t walk Oporto, you climb it. Elsewhere we ridden funiculars that were built as tourist attractions but here they’re a necessary mode of transport. Cramped calf muscles become par for the course -we recently had five days in San Francisco and that seems as flat as Holland by comparison.

As previously noted, we find another great way to explore a city is to take the open top bus tour, allowing you to see where best to visit later in your stay. Little did we know that the tour we were to do in Oporto would provide not only great value for money but some interesting entertainment too................. Bear with me on this one - I know it sounds like the sequel to “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” but I can assure you all that follows is true.

Things started innocently enough as we wandered from our hotel to one of the stops on the tour bus route. It turned out we’d just missed one but this was of no concern as we had plenty of time. As we waited, an elderly Austrian couple approached and started to interrogate me with countless in depth questions about ticket prices, length of the journey etc. I thought this a little strange but I’d read the tour brochure so did my best to help them; it was only when they tottered off that Angela figured out my “non league football manager’s” coat was in the bus company’s corporate colours and they must have thought I was an employee - cheeky blighters!! (Incidentally, these coats were bought for ten quid each off a market in Carmel, California the day before we went to the freezing Yosemite National Park. The plan was to ditch them for this leg but it’s a good job we didn’t as we’ve been having some distinctly unEuropean weather...........).

The next bus arrived but wasn’t an open top one so we let it go; not a good decision with hindsight but we wanted to feel the wind in our hair.................... When the next one drew up it appeared to have been chartered by a Portuguese Borstal as the top deck was crammed with screaming kids - we let it go past. Everything appeared to be coming together when the next service approached and we congratulated ourselves on the patience we’d shown. Within seconds we’d be on a peaceful, open top bus to tour the 2001 European City of Culture, even if it had taken its time coming. Imagine our horror then when the bloody thing turned down a different street just before it got to us, never to be seen again!!

This was getting ridiculous now; we’d been out for nearly two hours and still hadn’t lost sight of our hotel. We decided not to waste any more time waiting so set off for Stop 1 itself, a twenty minute walk into the city centre. There, we would be able to get on the tour at the very beginning and would encounter no further problems................ how wrong can you be?

True, we did get on an open top bus at stop 1. True, it set off exactly on time and took us out along the Douro to the very extreme of this enormous city. .....................And then it broke down. I’m not making any of this up and we were beginning to feel there was some kind of plot against us. (That said, we were doing the same thing in New York a few years ago whilst sitting on the back seat downstairs. Smoke started to pour out from the engine beneath us and the bus burst into flames. Maybe it’s us). Thankfully, we were eventually rescued and the rest of the tour passed of uneventfully - for that day at least...............

Oporto, also known as The City of Bridges, has a fascinating history inevitably dominated by its maritime links (Bristol is a twin town). Imposing castles that once guarded the port from pillaging enemies abound and its centre by the Douro was designated as a World Heritage Site by UNESCO in 1996. The oldest of its architectural gems go back to 1324 but historical records date life here as far back as the 4th century. Its impossible steepness just adds to the character of the place and many of the antiquated shops look like they’ve been in business for ever. The Porto people (known as tripeinos as they used to give their brave sailors all the best quality food and ate mainly tripe themselves) are really friendly and are always delighted to help. This is especially the case if you thank them with an “Obrigado” NOT “gracias” - they are rightly proud of their identity and don’t like being confused with the Spanish.

A couple of other less formal observations about Oporto. Firstly, it has the world’s most stupid pigeons, or at least the most stupid pigeons of all the places we’ve been to. These birds are a different kind of thick and I’m sure they deliberately try and trip you up. They think you’re following them all the time and then suddenly fly up in your face causing a volley of expletives and much annoyance. I’m not sure what age kids stop chasing them but it should be made compulsory until they’re ten at least, or no Playstation. Secondly, everyone hawks up loudly and spits in the street -and I mean everyone. Mothers, fathers, sons, daughters - even Grandmothers. Angela soon caught onto this and I just hope I can stop her doing it before we get back home.........................

After the events of the previous day, we were looking forward to a more peaceful time using the remaining part of our 48 hour tour tickets. These had already proved tremendous value at only 17 Euros each and we still had a boat trip and port tasting in a port cave to come (actually, this turned out to be two port tastings as they didn’t stamp our tickets first time - not sure I should be admitting that.........?). The boat trips ran every hour and promised fantastic views of the harbour and up into the city itself from the Douro. After a long relaxing lunch and walk along the river, we duly made our way to the starting pier in plenty of time.

At that point, we came across numerous limousines, riot vans and police out riders on motor cycles. It was when we saw the snipers on a boat in the centre of the river that we realised something was afoot. It transpired the previous sailing of our vessel had been exclusively for the King of Norway (the undemocratically appointed one, not the true Norwegian King, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer) and the rest of the days trips were abandoned to allow his safe exit.

Not being much of a royalist and determined we were going to get our sailing, I collared the Cruise Manager. Although reluctant at first, he managed to find us two places on a boat which had been privately commissioned for a company jolly (cue lots of strange looks from the “real” employees and whispered comments like “Who are they? Do they work in Accounts?”). We were absolutely unfazed by this, especially as, being a corporate event, trays of port were brought round for one and all. There was one last minor incident when, much to her chagrin, I mistakenly took a whole plate of crisps off a waitress’s tray instead of just one. An eventful end to an incident packed tour of a wonderful city. Obrigado Oporto!!

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Photos

"What Did The Romans Ever Do For Us?"
The stone bridge at Ponte de Lima is just one example of the amazing work the Romans left behind.

King Of The Castle
Guimaraes was once Portugal's capital and its first King was born there in the 12th century. It's a beautiful place where many of the buildings don't seem to have changed in all that time.

Rock Climbing In Oporto
The steep streets of Oporto gave us some great excersize and made San Francisco seem flat.

The Curse Of The Open Top Bus
Angela by the bus that got us as far away from the city centre as its route goes .................................and then broke down. Just one of the incidents that occurred on an eventful and enjoyable tour of Oporto.

Jewels In The City
Oporto is steeped in character and history with countless ancient and interesting buildings.

City Of Bridges
The Douro pretty much splits the city in half so its six bridges are vital connections.

Port In Oporto
We acquired quite a taste for the drink the city is named after.

Out On The River
A boat trip on the Douro was a great way to finish off our eventful tour of Oporto - once we'd got rid of the King of Norway.