Portugal: Computer Says No

---

OMG, over 2 wks without an adventure update, I am slacking. I'm going to make this a double whammy to make up for it.

Last wk I went to the UK for a week, so let's discuss what went down before and then what's gone on after.

As you guys know from a previous post, I was having problems with my aircon boxes above the roof ... so the final week I was doing my best to not be in the apartment. I even joined the library. The last time I went to a library was 11 yrs back in Sheffield Uni, mainly to drag people out to go to the pub for a quick pint (times 10) prior to my home-gym 200 squat weight-lifting session. But it felt great joining, and I now have a library card so I'll be able to take out books to read ... and I felt all sophisticated and what not. What I did forget was to take a power adaptor converter for my laptop as its UK-based ... and the next time I went I made the same mistake again, aarrgghh.

One night I got so fed up in the apartment that I decided to get in my car and drive for a 5 minute break ... next thing I know Im in Spain ... defo couldn't hear any vibrations from there lols.

I've been making some friends as well, as I want to know more Portuguese people (mainly girls) .... I found the couchsurfing site to be a good way to find friends that live nearby, then meet up with them in my fav cafe, where I just walk up and they know what I went. It's a great way to learn the lingo as well as sometimes the other person doesn't speak English at all and it forces me to chitchat in Portuguese, even tell jokes.

Just prior to leaving for the UK, I went to Faro to deal with customs again for the car matriculation polava .... man I should write a sitcom about this some day. While I was there, I stopped off into my bank to pick up a credit card. I finally have a credit card. I need one because in Portugal you can't use debit cards for online shopping, doesn't exist. There is a way with some banks which is awesome, something called MB.Net (MB is MultiBanco, basically an ATM). With MB.Net you log online and create a fake credit card, and tell the system when you want it to expire, or how much you want to spend before it auto-expires, or whether it's a 1-time purchase. You are then given a fake credit card number and cvv code to use online, awesome system as its very secure.

Unfortunately my bank doesnt allow MB.Net so I need to go down the credit card route. I asked my bank manager at Lisbon but she wouldn't give me one (credit card). I don't have a valid credit history, I'm not employed and don't have regular monthly income hitting the account, so computer says no (she made me feel like a bum). What I had to do was give them the equivalent of the amount of credit I needed and they put that into a separate secure account as collateral, then they gave me a card. So basically if I want a 5k card, I gotta give them 5k first, so we are exchanging money for money ... nice.

I picked up my card from the branch and did the 1st thing you would do ... go to an ATM and change the default pin number. 1st ATM, no option to change it. Ok, no probs, next one, nope ... next one, nope. Basically I was walking down the high street in Faro inserting my card into every ATM ... if the cops were watching this was looking very very dodgy. But I thought, "there is a system glitch in Faro, I'll go home to Tavira and try it" ... unfortunately the glitch affected all 10 Tavira ATMs as well. I ended up emailing my bank manager and asked how to change the PIN number .... her response: "Oh u cant do that, u can only change the pin number of debit cards, not credit cards, use the one we gave you" ... bizarre.

On the way back to the car park in Faro I spotted something awesome. You know the reycling bins in public for glass, plastic, etc? Well there was one in the middle of the street for clothes (see the pic, green box) ... you just put ur unwanted items thru the hole ... I wonder what actually happens to them. I heard somebody sneezing as I walked past but there was nobody around me ... thought maybe there's a homeless dude inside the box dressing up as a transvestite golfer.

Oh, quickly want to mention that I've now started buying ready-made frozen cooking ingredients. For example, you can buy bags of peeled/chopped onions so when you want to make a cheesy-mashed-potato-microwaved-fish-finger-omelette, you can just pull out this bag and pour some diced onions into the pan ... easy peasy.

Right, so it was the night before my flight to the UK. That night these aircon noises really got me angry, so at 3am I pulled my duvet out and went outside to the lobby and slept on the small sofa .... well didn't really sleep, was cold too ... and at 6am onwards the guests were walking past me and I could hear peeps chatting in dutch and other languages ... no doubt saying the same thing, "what's that indian doing on the sofa?" ... AARRGGHH, IM NOT INDIAN MOFOS ... well thats what I was thinking because I was upset and tired. But I knew I had a wk break, so went to the airport and said goodbye. I knew straight away I was coming to the UK when in the queue this Manc girl came up F-ing this and F-ing that ... not attractive girlie. She was complaining that she went thru security with a full-sized suitcase and got to the RyanAir gate and they wouldn't let it thru .. and I mean a full-size 25kg suitcase ... how the feck is that going to fit in the trolley that says "If I fit, I can go ... If I don't, I will empty your bank account with extortionate fees" ... and they are, I asked the checkout chick ... £20 per kilo over weight limit they charge.

So I land into Manchester airport, go to Alamo to pick up my hire car, and the woman at the desk tells me "we need to do a security test to ensure you live in the UK as you have a UK license and some peeps give false details" ... well of course computer said no .... twice ... as I dont pay bills there nor am on the electoral roll. I asked her what the solution was .... "oh you need a Portuguese driving license then we'd give u the car .... but computer says no, we cant give u one" ... but she was helpful, she found Enterprise for me who dont do the security check ... and lovely Marie from Enterprise was equally as helpful and I ended up with a car, 50%!m(MISSING)ore cost but feck it ... I had a lot of driving to do ... oh and Marie was lovely.

Thu night, staight to see my sister in Manchester, and then go home to see ma/pa in Warrington, Fri down to Watford, Saturday St Albans, London in the evening, Sunday Cambridge, Monday back to Warrington, where on the road I saw somebody taking their house on the M6 in 2 parts ... check out the pic, awesomes. Man so many peeps I didn't have time to catch up with ... so my bad there. For those I did see, it was fantastic.

A few days ago I arrived back into Portugal ..... aaannnnd I will continue this in another post, as my friend Tanya tells me I write too much for her to read ... so Tan, for u I will stop right here x

---