The White Trousered Kebab House Tour

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having deliberated for some time, we have finally decided to name our short journey, the white trousered kebab house tour. i am not sure whether we have mentioned before but there is a definite association between european women and white trousers. whilst i would not say that women from the uk do not participate in this association, i would suggest the prevalance is much lower. perhaps some research into this phenomenon might be useful. also, i have counted at least 1 kebab house per european head...no but seriously, there is turkish over indulgence here. theyre not even that good.


right so enough about names. i want to tell you about warsaw. this opinion is entirely subjective and only based upon a days experience so i apologize if i have the wrong end of the stick, but in short, i can fully sympathise with the new population of polish immigrants in ealing broadway. poland, or at least warsaw is an incredibly depressing place.

there was always going to be a bit of melancholy to warsaw given its past but there is some degree of severe european misunderstanding here. everything seems very forced. the poles eat alfresco, but it is not quite paris. there has been rebuilding, but it is no berlin. there are parks, but no one in them. there is history, but we cant see it. and on and on. of the most depressing parts, what stood out for me was not the tragedy in the jewish cemeteries but the fraudulence of the old town. rebuilt post war, it is no more then a tourist zone. it is not lived in and there are no poles here. indeed you could be anywhere. the architecture is loud and unnecessary and at times, seems super imposed, if not painted onto the backdrop of buildings. the shops will sell you ice cream in 30 different flavours and nothing else. cheeky signs advertise free toilets along winding streets and eventually charge you 2 zloty. it is a tourist trap. the story is very different down along kpakowskie przedmiesche street into the main town, where there are actually people and functioning businesses. the university especially plays a considerable role in furnishing the large streets, filling it with the mix of people required for a town to function.

leading on from this, the people, who originally seemed friendly enough, are not so now. being asian, as we are, i was always aware that this was going to be an issue at some points and was content with this. however as today progressed several occurences which i could have otherwise shrugged off began to seem more and more malicious. obviously this is the product of imagination and most were not as bad as i suggest to myself. however the following incident with a policeman i have documented, to give an example of the above comments. it was, on the whole a laugh-off-able incident but easily the most frustrating encounter of the day. bearing our dissapointment in warsaw behind, it didnt serve to make matters any better.

in the early afternoon we made our way to the north western side of town, towards the large conglomeration of cemetaries. we stopped to cross a large main road, running opposing lines of traffic and two tram lines in the centre. opposite, were two police officers on the other side. we crossed and having got to the other side were beckoned to one side by one of the policeman. his colleague began to talk to us in polish which we obviously did not understand and stated as such and so he continued in remarkably good english. the policeman who had called us over stood beside us as if to block our escape. the english speaking policeman speaking policeman began by informing us we had broken the law. we were a bit nonplussed at this and begged to differ. he repeated the charge again and asked to see our papers. whilst handing over our passports he informed us that we had crossed the road whilst the light was red. i, very quickly confirmed that in fact we had not, and had crossed the road with a green light alonside another lady who had since walked off. she didnt seem to have broken any laws. we were asked what nationality we were. why were we in poland? travelling? are you sure? we were sure.

my brother felt that perhaps i need to save my attitude for another cause and looking back he was very right. this policeman was looking for a confrontation. having opened our passports he began to laugh heartliy at mine whilst referring the joke in polish to his colleague. upon asking what was so funny, we were told that apprarently we shared our name, hussain, with some man, a dictator perhaps. was it cuba? no no, afghanistan, iraq.. did we see the funny side? ah yes, good times.

we were let off and went on our way. the incident left a bad taste in both of our mouths and it was a sad reminder of how pathetic people can be. it certainly didnt help to make the day any better. warsaw is at times beautiful and truly splendid, but it only at times. besides that, it is filled with unnecessary military monuments, large buildings with unknown purposes and policeman finding new ways to kill the hours after their lunch break.

Adal

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