Crying out to God

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Lately I feel like I’ve been just crying out to God more often than usual. It is not that I am sad or afraid or anything, I just want more of Him. I am not content with my walk or with how little I really know God. I am not seeking an answer to anything in particular but as I was telling Him, I just want to know Him more. Not through second hand knowledge of another but from Him, I want to hear Him.

Last Sunday I went to a different church with some of the girls from my team and a few minutes into the praise and worship, I was praying to myself, because the songs were in Norwegian, when I started thinking about my walk with God. I left the group and walked to the back where no one was and just started “crying out to God.” As I was sitting in the back of the balcony section of the sanctuary, telling God I just wanted to hear from Him, anything at all, a thought came to my head. I say, “a thought came to my head” but others may say God told me (I am still struggling to know when it is Him and when it is just me). The thought was something like “your knees are healed.” Then it was followed by a suggestion to get on my knees and see. For a while now I have been having problems with my knees. I think it is from dancing so much. My team had prayed for me at one time and then for a week or so they were completely fine but then the pain slowly came back. I hadn’t asked anyone to pray for them since then, until right before a ‘run-through’ a week and a half ago. One of the girls was asking if anyone needed prayer and I said I did. Until that moment at the back of the church (which was about 4 days after the prayer) I had not even realized it but the pain in my knees had left. After I got down on my knees and got up again without pain I proceeded to try different positions. I felt as if God was showing me how that it is so easy for us to want things when we are pain and seek Him in those moments, yet so easily we miss when He answers us and the pain is gone. At that moment fresh tears poured out but these where ones of thanksgiving.

I am still crying out to God, even this morning. I want more of Him because we are about to go out and I know I can only give out as much as He has given me. I told Him that I am His vessel and I want Him to teach me how to truly surrender to Him. Even though I may be confused at times in my walk, for instance, when it is that I hear Him but I will still give what I do have. Deep down inside I know that I know Him but He is such a huge God, so I will continue crying out to Him, for more of Him. I know it is He who has put that desire in my heart.

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Comments

[anonymous]

Thanks for that story!! It is also where I am -- -wanting more of God. I pray that God will continue to fill you with more of him.

[SANDRA GREEN CARTER]

secret place
you just keep being hungry for god. you are at an awesome level.