On my 'bucket list' - Monte Carlo, Monaco

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Despite Monaco's lingering image as "a sunny place for shady people," in W. Somerset Maugham's famous phrase, present-day Monaco is really more of a conventioneer and package-tour destination. Only 4 percent of its state revenues comes from the storied casino, now mostly patronized by hard-bitten Russians, and just 10 percent comes from banking transactions. The biggest chunk of national revenue, about two-thirds, comes from a value-added tax on goods and services sold in Monaco, which the principality shares with France.

I would definitely recommend a trip to Monte Carlo, Monaco taking a chance to stroll the waterfront and get a glimpse of how some of the high society folks live. You will either leave Monte Carlo - just like me - in awe of all the amazing elegance and the high style living wondering where people get that kind of money or be completely depressed knowing you will never be living in their world.

I have never been in Monte Carlo, Monaco before. Or I ever wanted to visit it. But something just snapped inside me and we were going to Monte Carlo on March 28th, Sunday. The idea came to me last December, after recovering from a not so pleasant surgery. Suddenly I have felt that this is it, the end is closer than I have anticipated, so this is the time to do all the foolish things that I might ever wanted to do but I have never actually had the guts to do. You know, the ‘bucket list’............Here it is, we have a chance to go away for eight nights at end of March. Quite a few state and religious holidays are grouped together at that time and Paul needs a break too. To escape the long and grey winter from Canada......... Actually this winter wasn’t really long and cold only depressingly grey. What a wonderful thing is the Internet.......... You turn on your computer and ask the question: Where should I go?

Let me see.....the building I live in now is full of wise (over 65) people and most of them own some real estate in Florida. They go there most of the time and they seem to be happy there. Do I want to go to Florida? Do I want to spend my time between the beach and the mall? Well, I am not sure............ I personally only have been in Florida when our plane had a stopover before or after cruising or visited Disney World. Alright, let's go to Florida........ it is definitely warmer and sunnier then here. I have checked the airline ticket prices to Fort Myers (everyone is raving about it), and I have realized that with the tax they have added up to $600/ticket. This is high season for snowbirds in Florida. We still have to rent a car of course. You cannot go anywhere without a car in North America. New York being the only exception, I guess. I don’t mind the car, but when on vacation I prefer walking on the streets and taking public transportation. We could of course drive to Florida, but do we want to drive for two days when we are only spending 8 nights away? I don’t think so. And to be honest, I hate being in a car for two days in a row anyway. I am a short distance driver or passenger. Spending more than 6 hours in the car, and I get really cranky.

Do I really want to go to Florida? Again, I am not so sure......let's just look at some European destinations. After checking all the major airlines, I have realized that for the same amount of money, I can buy return tickets to Nice. So much for Florida. So the dart is thrown........... I have never been in Nice or anywhere in the French Riviera before. Now, let's just see what to do and where to stay. It is a wonder how much time you can actually waste at the front of your computer screen in winter time. After two weeks of tiresome searching, I have learned, that most of the hotels are old and expensive in Nice. Not to mention the pickpockets, panhandlers, homeless, petty crime, etc. It is a big, crowded city......but right in the heart of the French Riviera. I myself living in a big city, naturally seeking solitude when on a short holiday. Fine......so where should we stay?

Than one of the link on the screen was pointing to Monte Carlo, the Rock. It is in close proximity to Nice, clean and relative safe. Sounds heavenly. Guess what...........? Hotels are not more expensive than in Nice, and apparently you can just hop on a bus or train and be in Nice in 30 minutes. I did manage to find a four star boutique hotel right in Port Hercule, breakfast included and I have booked it right the way. Don’t think too long, just do it............. In Hotel Port Palace the rooms are spacious, spare and elegant. The common areas and halls display funky abstract art pieces and trendy photography. This feels something like the W with a more flair and a European sense of humour. The breakfast is scrumptious from bacon to smoked salmon with warm buttery croissants to die for.

Apparently you can walk alone on the streets 24/7 in Monte Carlo. No homeless, no panhandlers or shirtless tourists. Yes, this is funny, if you take your shirt off, the police apparently will fine you. Cameras are covering all over the place. Security for the riches, - you might say- but some tourists enjoy it too. Some not as much. Feeling safe, walking on the shampooed streets (really), everything seems picture perfect, everyone is well dressed, wearing all the designer clothes and accessories just like the Stepford wives. So what? This is a dreamland, and that is where I want to spend my vacation. Consider it as Disney World for adults with fancy cars and yachts to play with. Not to mention the real estate. Property for sale in this tiny principality on the Cote d'Azur is rare and worth a not-so-small fortune with even modest studios starting at around one million Euros - a small price to pay for those requiring a tax bolt-hole in a divine location. If it doesn’t bother you that you are not rich or famous, it is a very nice place to visit. Just don’t turn green with envy.........

I have bought the airline tickets and booked the hotel, it seems that we are in business......this is pre-season in Monte Carlo, people are just recovering from the constant rain in January and February, so the restaurant prices should be moderate, and I can always have a baguette with cheese and red wine for picnic dinner. N'est pas? Actually you cannot go wrong by eating anywhere in Monaco. We have sampled the local food every day. Most restaurants serve very tasty three course tourist menus from 13-16 Euros. And I must say, the food tastes really good..........and even the one and only MacDonald in Fontevielle has a view. It is actually the one and only MacDonald in the whole world with an ocean view.

The question is what to see and do in Monte Carlo? There is a Monaco card for 60 Euro/person offered by the Monaco Tourism Board. It would give us unlimited access to all the museums, the palace, casino and provide a free helicopter ride from the airport to our hotel. I have never been on a helicopter. Mind you I hate rollercoaster rides. Does it matter? This sounds great, let's order the Monaco card.........I think that with old age I might be getting over my head. Spending the kid’s inheritance.......

So you are asking me, why brush shoulders with rich, snobbish people? Let’s just look at it as window shopping......... am I going to buy everything on display, or just looking at it? Do I eat everything from the menu, or I am just eating until I am full? I guess if I am not jealous of not having it all, I will be alright. Life is too short, so let’s have some fun now until it will be too late.........

What do I really know about Monaco? Monaco now has 32,000 residents, 7,100 of whom are citizens. Monaco is one of the most prestigious places to live and besides being a playground for the rich and famous, for those with less resources (like me), it can be a beautiful area to enjoy the Mediterranean Sea, one of the top man made beaches in the world and all the joys of this tiny principality. Under Prince Rainier III, Monaco runs like a state-of-the-art entertainment machine. Beside food and drink, gambling, 300 days of sun, and the Mediterranean, there is hardly a day that goes by without some planned attraction, festival, rally, holiday celebration, or fair.

If Monaco didn't exist, some impresario like Walt Disney or Bugsy Siegel would have had to invent it. This tiny principality (half the size of Central Park), occupying a steep, rocky coastline between the French Alps and the Mediterranean, has become the world's most elegant playground, a fantasy world that cunningly attracts all of society's strata and a lot of its cash. People play expensive games in the casinos' inner sanctums, stay in hotels that easily outshine the palaces of the real royals, and partake of food and entertainment that (at their best) rival most others on this planet.

We have arrived at Nice on Monday morning. The flight seemed even sweeter when we thought of how we bypassed the usual Paris madness to land at the far more civilized Nice-Cote d'Azur Airport. From there, a ten-minutes helicopter ride with Heli Air Monaco and another 5 minutes mini-bus ride brought us to the door of our destination, Hotel Port Palace, enviably located right in the heart of Port Hercule, with a view of the harbour with its rows of sparkling white yachts. To see the coast line the first time in your life from a helicopter is priceless. What an entrance, I might say........

The sun was shining, people were sitting in the harbour enjoying their sandwiches and drinking their cappuccino. This is Life (with a capital L) .......After a quick shower we have stepped out from our hotel to admire the yachts around the harbour and joined the lucky locals and tourists munching on their cheese or ham baguettes at the sidewalk cafes in the glorious sunshine. I can see myself spending all my winters here and be REALLY happy about it. The eye-popping Lamborghinis and Aston Martins lazing around Casino Square as well as the mega yachts moored in the turquoise bay are testament to the fact that the credit crunch hasn't affected everyone quite so badly.

Our plan was to take day trips on certain days, and do NOTHING on others.

Being such a tiny principality, the best way to get around is by the efficient bus system. Monaco also has the unique public transportation option of taking an elevator. That’s right; Monaco has seven public elevators which whisk visitors up and down the steep inclines of the area. The bus fare is 1 Euro for one ride, but you can purchase an unlimited daily pass on the bus from the driver. This Daily tourist pass is the best deal because it has no ride limits and it costs 3 Euros for 24 hours. Move over TTC.

A natural first stop from our hotel was the legendary Monte-Carlo Casino. To say it's the world's most elegant gambling hall is to beggar its historical importance and architectural accomplishment. The fact that an entire nation (small as it is) depends on the casino (not only for its worldly existence, but its whole raison d'etre) elevates it to mystical heights. It caters to the risk-takers and wannabes on several levels. By the way, the house ALWAYS wins...... There is a charge (10 Euros) to enter and use the salons. For us it was covered with the Monaco card, so we were regulars. The place is apparently buzzing during the weekends but since we have arrived on Monday, it was completely deserted. Don’t worry, they will make up for it on the coming up Easter weekend..........The rooms were dark and beside the croupiers, there was absolutely no buzzing around. The common folks (like me) can throw their Euros (dimes) into slots or play a bit more seriously at American Roulette, craps, and blackjack in the American Room (no admission charge), or simply walk around the huge lobby, grab a peep at the distinctive opera house which adjoins, use the equally impressive washroom, and bask in the myth. If you want to watch the rich in action, grab a cup of coffee in the Hotel de Paris. It costs you $20 Euros for a cappuccino and espresso. No dessert.......For some it is still a good deal compared to aimlessly feeding the slot machines. Whatever works for you.......

But it would be a decided mistake to think of Monaco solely as a gaming capital. It is an unending surprise to see how so much has been squeezed into so little. The principality is divided into several sections. Monaco Town is located on a small peninsula that juts into the sea encompassing the famous Port. Here are located the narrow alleys, shops, and cafes of Old Town. Places worth seeing are the Oceanographic Museum and its Aquarium-- spotlighting the work of Jacques Cousteau, the Museum of Monaco, the Museum of Napoleonic Souvenirs and, best of all, the Prince's Palace. While you can't go into the state apartments, much is open to the public-- including the Throne Room, in use since the 16th century.

The seasonal opening of Oceanographic Museum and its Aquarium was on Friday, so we have scheduled our visit accordingly. Thursday evening strolling through the palace area (after finishing our delicious cappuccino at the famous chocolatier around 6 p.m.) we have heard people coming up behind us. We have turned around and guess what, the prince was WALKING behind us with his very expensive looking young girlfriend and bodyguards. Wow, you might think that it would be impossible to be passed by a real prince on the street anywhere in the world, but in Monaco Ville this is apparently normal. He seemed much taller than in the pictures. Apparently he is very much aware that much of Monaco's continuing attraction lies in maintaining the precarious fantasy of royalty in a modern age without turning himself into the central character of a very expensive theme park. He has made one change since stepping forward: tradition long held that the flag flying from the staff on the tower above his office be hoisted when the prince was in Monaco. But Prince Albert flies the flag regardless of whether he is in town or not, preferring to keep his whereabouts, like so much else in his life, out of public view. The prince lives alone in the palace, in the family's private wing that juts out from the main building and overlooks the principality's newest neighbourhood, Fontevielle, built on reclaimed land. This time he was walking from his palace to the official opening of the museum. You can enjoy your breakfast or lunch in his palace area, but no dinner. After six the place is deserted, the restaurants are closed, no loud tourists, no nothing. Silence. The guy knows how to enjoy his privacy.

You can explore unusual terrestrial flora and fauna in La Condamine and Fontvielle. Monaco's famous zoological garden is operated in accordance with today's new thinking (please don't call it a zoo!) where work is done to save numerous endangered species. There is a friendly lonely hippo and all kind of other animals. Fontvielle Park provides a haven of calm greenery and a freshwater pond with ducks and swans. Nearby is the Princess Grace Rose Garden, another serene hideaway fragrant with the scent of more than 3,500 rose trees. In this, as in all specialized endeavours of the Prince, experts from around the world were called in for guidance.

Perhaps the most unusual area is the Exotic Gardens and Observatory Cave. The gardens are laid out along the mountain side (really a cliff), and contain more than 7,000 varieties of succulent plants from all over the world. The view is spectacular, and if this weren't enough, stairs from the gardens lead 200 feet down to a prehistoric cave complete with world-class stalagmites, stalactites, and limestone concretions. It was Paul’s idea to visit the caves, and after walking down on the treacherously slippery stairs (did I say 200 feet down?) and finally reaching the ground, he was actually looking for an elevator in vain to take him back upstairs. At that point we had a choice to stay there forever or climb back 200 feet upstairs. Actually at the end we have realized that it was much more slippery and difficult walking downstairs compared to climbing back up. But until the guide said ‘Good luck to climb back 250 stairs’, it didn’t seemed that many to step on. This visit we will always remember but definitely not cherish. After finally managing to climb back upstairs we actually had to sit down for a half an hour just to come back to life and regain our breath. We were completely soaking wet. Make sure that you are physically fit to visit the caves.

Also nearby (isn't everything in Monaco?) the Museum of Prehistoric Anthropology traces the history of the human race with exciting finds, generally local.

Finally there is the casino area itself, with its beautifully kept gardens leading to the shopping area. As you would expect, this is the place for cosmopolitan shopping with a French accent. The boutiques and shops here are second to none for fashions, accessories, just about anything from the luxurious to the sublime. But you will find no more original gift than the Monegasque handicrafts sold at the boutiques operated by the Princess Grace Foundation.

No question that Monaco is one of the planet's most interesting man-formed pieces of real estate. It is a crossroads for pleasure-seekers of every conceivable (socially acceptable) taste. Whether it's a high-stakes game of chemin de fer, a one-euro one-armed bandit, elegant churches, natural history museums, food, shopping, sports, or an evening of spectacular entertainment, it all can be found 365 days a year in that 2-square kilometre piece of fantasy called Monaco.

On Wednesday morning after breakfast we have taken the coastal bus to the fascinating medieval village of Eze, perched up high with its craft shops and breathtaking views. Eze is situated about half way between Nice and Monte Carlo. The village sits like an eagle's nest on a large rock 400 meters above the sea. We have started our bus ride right after breakfast, and this early arrival meant we missed the crowds that plague the tiny village later each day. The path from the parking area up into the village is quite strenuous. We have climbed up slowly along the narrow stony paths up to the garden (Jardin Exotique) at the top of the rock. All paths going uphill will eventually lead you to the top where the panoramic garden is located. We have taken our time and wandered along the small streets, finding a nice coffee house on the top of the hill. While walking the paths of Eze, you can easily see that it was once surrounded a 12th century fortified castle. The castle was torn down in 1706, but the village remains, and forms a circular pattern around the base of the castle. I thought the villagers had done an excellent job of restoring the old buildings. Many of the residents are now artisans, and shoppers can spend a lot of time wandering in and out of the cave-like shops. There are also some perfumeries, and a wonderful aromatic selection of spices for sale. The coastal bus service is outstanding, it costs one Euro to pop on it and the scenery of the Upper Corniche is to die for.

At noon we have catched the same bus backwards passing Monte Carlo to Menton. Nicknamed the Pearl of France, Menton is the last town before the Italian border. Thanks to its subtropical microclimate, this Four Flower Town has an exceptional natural heritage, with many gardens, parks, and green spaces, not to mention all kinds of beautiful beaches. With the mildest climate in France, Menton is worth a visit during any month of the year. This is a good place to eat fresh seafood and so that is what we did.

On Thursday we took the train to San Remo. San Remo, located south and west of Torino and Milan, has fewer tourists and in many ways offers a more authentic Italian experience. We had to change trains at Ventemiglia and there was some waiting of 15 minutes. The whole journey had only taken around 50 minutes, including connection time. Located 50 km east of Nice and even closer to Monte Carlo, San Remo is an easily reachable city much closer then Genova and is rich in heritage and culture. San Remo is a beautiful seaside city and famous along the Italian Riveria. The Old Town is full of history and character. We walked around the city and have spent most of the day sightseeing. The most eventful part of the day was stopping for cappuccino for a couple times. The city is littered with charming cafes and restaurants throughout as well as along the seaside. I must say, that nobody makes coffee like the Italians. And it was dirt cheap too.

Sunday morning we took an other coastal bus to Nice. It was a gorgeous drive along the spectacular coastline of the Lower Corniche between Monaco and Nice, past tranquil villages, modern marinas and the bay and Citadel of Villefranche. Nice was surprisingly far larger and busier than we have anticipated. It took us some time to get used to the noise and amount of people in the narrow streets. Once you get used to the crowds it's quite a nice atmosphere, everywhere is lively and you have to line up for everything. We have boarded a sightseeing bus with 11 stops and discovered Nice. It has stops at the English Promenade, Cimiez Monastery, Mont Boron, Matisse Museum and the Chagall Museum. We have enjoyed the fantastic views from the open-top hop-on/off platform. It started and ended at the Promenade des Anglais. Nice is a wonderful city - with a charm and attitude like no other. But I was glad that we have chosen Monte Carlo as our base. The Promenade des Anglais is the key to the whole city - you can walk along it to get pretty much anywhere (as the population is spread out in a narrow strip along the water). The promenade is always bustling with joggers or people having a nice stroll along or people heading down to the beach. We have had a nice lunch in the Old Town, before returning to the calm and much quieter Monte Carlo.

Monday we have spent our last day in Monte Carlo, checking out the world's most priceless vintage car collections, owned and cherished by the Prince and displayed for public viewing within its very own museum. Monaco is perfect for those that enjoy the outdoors, yachting and sunny skies. For those that like to lay on the beach, Monaco has built a man made beach that is extremely clean and comfortable. Had lunch with the best view you can imagine and strolled on the beach, admiring the locals dipping into the ice cold water and watching them sun tanning topless. I mean topless, regardless of their age, but some of them - I must admit - are in great shape.

I must admit I do like the French way of thinking......... 'Look, you idiot, the reason they think they can behave however they like is because people like you never tell them they can't. So, in fact, they can.' Most people lucky enough to enjoy Monte Carlo's lifestyle do everything they are not supposed to: suntan, smoke, drink and eat lots of fatty food. And guess what? They do seem to be enjoying their life to the fullest..........

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