Hagglin' Amy and the Efficient Travelers

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I left Positano to meet up with Neil and Amy at the train station in Naples, which meant I got to take the crazy bus ride one more time. I've really gotten used to it though. The fact that the drivers don't slow down around blind corners seems natural enough now.

Daniel also left Positano at the same time. On the way to Naples I realised I forgot to pay for my hour of internet time, and Daniel realised he forgot to pay for his bed on the second night... I guess since they didn't ask they forgot too, right? Just to be safe, I better let a couple of years go by before going back.

When I met up with Neil and Amy at the train station we quickly swapped stories about how the last two days were "awesome", even though we did completely different things in completely different places... well, actually quite similar places and things I guess. But the point is, you really can't go wrong on the Amalfi coast.

They also told me of the rotting mountains of garbage they had to walk by between the ferry dock and the train station in Naples. There's a garbage crisis in southern Italy, and the story is that they used to ship all their garbage to Germany, but the landfills in Germany are filling up and are refusing to take it....

... but the real story is that the garbage was never shipped to Germany (or at least not nearly as much as was claimed) because the mafia runs the garbage collecting racket in the south and they like it to be profitable and don't like to follow environmental laws. So they were just shoving it in the ground anywhere they could find space and pocketing the profits. And now many ground water wells are contaminated, they've run out of places to dump the garbage, and the Italian government is trying to nationalise garbage collection, but the mafia doesn't want to let them, plus many of the garbage collectors have simply gone on strike... Pretty much a bunch of stuff that I wasn't really able to keep track of, but the sum total is that there are piles of garbage in the streets of Naples in some areas.

And the mafia is real.

When we arrived at our hostel in Florence, we were bombarded with signs advertising the Tooga party in the hostel bar that night.... No, I did not just mispell "Toga". They did.

We decided that a "Tooga", since it almost rhymes with touque, most be a toga for your head. So we thought about going down wearing our pillowcases on our heads, but we were pretty beat and planned to get up early to go see the David the next morning.

Instead we stayed in our room and chatted with our Kiwi roommate who's going to see the MotoGP race nearby. Sounds like a good reason to travel to me!

All I really have to say about our next day in Florence is that we are awesome at traveling.... too awesome. We're so efficient that we saw and did everything we wanted to see and do in Florence in six hours. We weren't really rushing ourselves, but I think after 5 days on the beach we were ready to go again. And Florence is pretty compact from a tourist's perspective.

We showed up at the Academia shortly after it opened, expecting to see a huge line, but we walked right in and saw Michelangelo's David in all its glory. It actually is mind-blowingly magnificent to see it in person, and we felt it was worth the entrance price, even though the rest of the museum is quite small. There is, however, a musical instuments wing that is interesting. I now know what a Hurdy Gurdy looks like, but would have no idea how to play it.

After that we headed over to the famous Duomo, waited ten minutes for it to open, and walked inside no problem. It's pretty big.

So by 10:30 in the morning we had effectively accomplished the two major things we wanted to do in Florence.

Where to now? The leather market for some cheap leather goods!

Wait, I should not have said "cheap", but that is what we were hoping to find. It seems that Italian leather is no cheaper in Italy. We even tried to batter with them, but couldn't get them to move. I guess they can just wait for the tourist that will pay their price. So my dad and my brother will not be receiving cheap Italian wallets for their birthdays. Unless I can find somebody who sells stolen ones... or fakes...

The most amusing thing that happened in the leather market was when one leather vendor noticed the Canadian flags on Neil and Amy's daypacks and said, "Oh Canadians! Where are you from? Van-city? T-dot? Montreal?" His excessive use of slang made me think that's probably all he knew of Canada and I replied "Calgary", since more people have heard of Calgary than Edmonton.

He comes back with, "Ohhhh Calgary! Very nice! This leather jacket would be perfect for the winter in Calgary, it's very warm! ..... 500 euros."

We'd already walked by at this point, since none of us were interested in leather jackets, but I'm sure he did hear me laugh out loud, which I did for a number of reasons:

1) He's obviously never been to Canada
2) He's obviously never been in Canada during the winter
3) If I wore that leather coat I would freeze to death in -40 C
4) 500 euros? Did we not look like students to this guy?
5) I was still laughing a bit from when he said "T-Dot".

Oh those crazy Italians! You gotta love 'em!

Ok, back to sightseeing. We walked across the famous Ponte Vecchio on the way to Piazza Michelangelo. Ponte Vechhio is covered in buildings, merchants, and tourists. It's very beautiful, so it's nice that it didn't get destroyed in the war... Piazza Michelangelo offered us great views of Florence, and it also gave Amy a chance to do some shady souvenir shopping...

There are street vendors carrying blue garbage bags selling purses everywhere in Florence. It must be only semi-illegal, because they walk around with these garbage bags in plain sight, but they sure take a good look around for cops before they will sell you one. These bags have another plus in that they are fake and therefore cheaper than the real thing (costs are kept low thanks in part to the fact that the vendors presumably operate without business licenses).

Amy wished to purchase a number of these bags as souvenirs and gifts for family. We all came on this trip with zero first hand knowledge of battering, but Amy quickly became a master.

I think the first bag she bought was in Rome, and the three of us had a strategy meeting to share all of the battering techniques that we remembered from T.V. and movies. Then we sent in Amy to get the job done, and she quickly developed a style all her own that she now commanded in Florence.

It goes like this: She would see a bag she liked, ask "How much for this one?" The vendor would look around and reply "60 euros" or some other price of equal or greater outrageousness. She would then say something like "I don't know", or "um" and he'd come back with another offer like "40 euros". So with an unconscious mild hesitation or uncertainty on the part of Amy, the price has already dropped 20 euros. Amy sees she's got the power, and doesn't let it go. She makes a counteroffer, "Well, how about 10 euros".

It begins.

He comes back with another offer, "30 euros"

No dice. "I only have 10 euros to spend." Very cunning strategy by Amy.

But the vendor doesn't believe it. "20 euros"

Then Amy pulls out the lone 10 euro note in her pocket that she pre-stashed in there and repeats, "10 euros".

He's getting close, and he knows it when he says, "15 euros."

Most people would break at this point, and accept the deal. Not Amy. She waves the 10 euro note one more time saying, "But I only have 10 euros."

The vendor knows he's defeated, but tries to hide it by saying, "Ok, but I'm giving you a really really good deal at 10 euros."

Then, Neil and I would resist the urge to jump out and yell, "You've just been Amy'd!", and Amy would walk away with her super cheap knock-off designer bag. A true champion. She named her price right off the start and stuck to it, never compromising. If someone wouldn't give her her price (and it only happened once), she'd walk away knowing that there are dozens of other street vendors who would.

So if you need something negotiated, call Amy. Tough as nails, that one is. Neil and I were mostly in awe of her skill and never dared try to match it... except, of course, at the leather market, where we failed miserably.

And by 2:30 in the afternoon we were all done in Florence.... so I went back to the hostel to do some laundry while Neil and Amy went to use the internet. We followed up this excitement by making ourselves a large and inexpensive pasta dinner. Since we have one more night in Florence, we're planning a day trip for tomorrow. It looks like Neil and Amy will go to Pisa while I think I'll head to Siena, or San Gimignano, or both. But we've heard tale of a rail strike...

By the way, we've decided to form a band named "Hagglin' Amy and the Efficient Travelers". Our debut album is set to drop in November. The CD release party will be at the Starlite Room. Hopefully we learn how to play some instruments by then. I'm pretty sure "Hagglin' Amy" will be singing, playing drums and fencing stolen merchandise at the same time. Anybody wanna buy a Rolex?

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Photos

Florence
This pretty much sums up Florence. Great view.

The leather market
Not a bargain to be found.

David! No wait, it's a fake.
One of two outdoor replicas of David in Florence. The real one is much better, and worth seeing.

The seguay tour continues...
And continues to baffle me.

Vending Machine Pasta?
No thanks.