When in Rome...leave for Venice as soon as possible

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Overview:

1. Don´t mess with Michaelangelo. He always gets the last laugh. "Oh you don´t like how I painted that??? Well, guess what, now I´m going to paint a very big snake biting you in a very inappropriate spot on the most important ceiling in the world. How you like them apples?" (More down below....no pun intended).

2. Please write more emails and comments to Christina. I think she´s getting bored and restless with me. A few hints that she has dropped..."I can´t wait until my parents and your parents show up so we don´t have to talk to each other any more." Also, when we meet with other Americans i.e. like we did in Rome, she wouldn´t stop talking to them. I had to drag her away and she was saying "Don´t leave me with him". She´s not subtle, but effective.

3. BOLD STATEMENT/SPOILER ALERT: ROME IS SKIPPABLE!!! "Oh no you didn´t" you say. Well, I just did. Unless you´re a HUGE history fan or you want to make a pilgrimage to the Vatican, the trip is not worth it. Even if you ARE a huge history fan, like Christina and I are, it´s better to stay at home, order some Italian food, open a bottle of Chianti and watch the History Channel specials on Rome. In fact, Christina and I, both huge history fans, have both put it on our "I´m glad we did it, but I´m never going back there again, list". Seriously, the best thing about it was just saying " When in Rome..." and using that as our excuse for everything. If you´re not a history fan, save the time, money, and headache and go to Venice or the countryside of Tuscany.

4. In contrast to Rome and the rest of the major cities in Italy, Venice was awesome.

ROME
We arrived in Rome and spent the first day just going to the tourist information office to find out about tours. This doesnt sound like a very exciting day, but realize that it took us at least 2 hours just to walk from our metro stop to this office to buy tickets. Rome is a lot bigger than it looks on a map. We decided to call it quits on the walking after that and bought tickets for those open air buses where you ride on top of a double decker bus and see the sights from up high. we originally poo pooed this because it seemed too touristy, but after 2 hours of fighting the people, the mopeds, the trash, and the traffic, we decided that we needed to get off the streets of Rome and see it from afar. This was the best decision we have ever made by the way. we saw the city sans cityness and got to relax to a headset telling us what we were looking at. this is the best way to get an overview of rome for anyone going there, plus we did it at sunset which was awesome.

The next day we did a tour of the Vatican with a guided tour guide. this was great because the girl was from Chicago and was there studying italian art history, so we could totally follow here. The paintings by Michaelangelo in the Sistene Chapel were that more interesting with the back story...for example, in one of the paintings, he painted the devil, but gave the devil a familiar face--that of the bishop who told him he had to "cover up" all the nudes he had already spent 5 years painting. This and other anecdotes made this tour fascinating.
On this tour we also met a nice couple from Boston, so really we spent the whole time cracking jokes with them thinking, "thank goodness we found other people who speak our language!!!"

The last and final day in Rome we spent touring the Colusseum and the ancient city of rome. This was all very neat, but in all honesty, the History Channel does a better job. Sad but true. It was neat to see in person though.

VENICE
We have heard Venice is stinky or crowded or a disappointment, etc, so we werent expecting much. We arrived on a beautiful day just after a rain and it was beautiful. They say no one really lives in Venice, but that the whole area is set up just for tourists. Well, if this is the case, then I say bravo Italy!!! They should have more cities dedicated to foreign tourists. The main square was crowded as we expected, but with St. Marks looming magestically in the background and a random orchestra playing Canon in D on the Square, it really was a beautiful place to be that day. Even with all the pigeons that Matt wanted to drop kick. Anyway, we counted that nice moment as our one romantic moment for the trip (Canon in D is what Christina walked in to at the wedding) because one single gondola ride was 80 euros for 60 minutes. Matt and I like each other and all, but not that much!!!!

So Venice was great, we saw Indiana Jones boats, and palaces on water that looked they came straight from the Italian job--it was awesome. Definitely our favorite place in Italy. We also spent a little time on the Island of Murano, where all the Italian glass is made, but quickly realized things were over'priced and so we moved on.


Ok, now for the juicy stuff, we have a lot to say about the Italians. Because Matt is better with the honesty than I am, and more entertaining (otherwise Harlan gets restless) I will turn it over to him.

With all apologies to all of you reading this whose last name ends with a vowel...the following ancedote from our experience at an Italian gas station sums up our experience in Italy (sans Venice and the Tuscan countryside).

Christina and I pull into the Self Serve side of the gas pump and a guy comes over to pump our gas. "No thanks. We got it" Then he starts to go for our windows. "No thanks. We just had our car washed no need". But, of course, he keeps going and then comes up to me afterward and demands a tip. Fine, I give it to him. I walk into the bathroom, which I have to pay for, because somebody mans the toilets and there´s a guy graffitiing the stall. Makes sense, I think. When I stop to go the bathroom at a rest stop, I feel the need to mark my territory with ink. The strange thing is the guy I just paid 50 cents to is watching this whole thing and not stopping it. Next, Christina and I go stand in line for food. We leave a whole foot between us and the next person in line (personal space sort of thing). So, the next old lady that wants food runs right in between us without any recognition and pushes her way to the front. We have to tap her on the shoulder and tell her we were there. She just shrugs and doesn´t move. So we pull the "When in Rome do as the Roman" trick and move in front of her. This is followed by what I´m sure were Italian swears, but at least she understands what we meant. I move onto the coffee line and order a double-expresso that comes to 1.70. I hand over a 20 and the lady punches in 10. I just stare at her the whole time. She reaches into her drawer and gives me 8.30 back. I continue to stare at her, she stares back at me, I stare at her and finally I saw, "I gave you a twenty". She rolls her eyes and hands over the last 10 euros that I´m sure was on the way to her pocket. Lastly, we make our escape to our car and we see a guy throw his trash on the pavement even though a trash can was not more than 10 feet away. "I´m so glad we´re moving onto France" I say to Christina and she agrees.

Thank you Matt, that was very well addressed. This seriously reflects what the Italians are like to us. They throw their trash on the ground, graffiti every thing in site (even the Colusseum), are pushy, and try to but in front of you all the time. We were expecting a lot more from this country and were really disappointed. All the great things you hear about Italians--they are so fun and out going and welcoming, etc--we found in Italians OUTSIDE of Italy. For example, the random Italian we met in Berlin. We would much rather spend a night with the Faraones or the Zappias or Catherine Casalino than we would the Italians that live in the big Italian cities. Sad but true. But this doesnt mean you should skip the countryside!

More from Provence.

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Comments

[Jon Lim]

You're not the only one...
My sister was there for a business trip and felt the same way. She didn't tolerate the massive crowds or the attitude very well. Overall, she prefers trains that run on time, people who obey traffic laws, people with a reservedly quiet demeanor, and orderly queues. Basically, Germany or Japan. :p So, the further away from Rome or the more rural area, the more enjoyable the experience. Thanks for the scouting report!

[Tim]

Wow, finally someone else agrees with me
I was completely underwhelmed by italy when I went. Yet every time I talk to someone and even hint at the fact that Italy is anything less than paradise on earth, people treat me like i´ve just issued the gravest insult about their mother. But yeah, Italy, totally skippable. There are WAY more interesting things in Europe (ie Croatia as you now know). Though there was one thing that I did in Rome that was cool. I did a pub crawl. It was totally a thing set up for tourists, but on the first night, i joined a group of people newly arrived in Rome, and we got a nice walking overview of the city and a nice healthy buzz as well. I should also mention that I met a nice girl from New Zealand that night. That probably skewed my perspective a bit. After that, I felt pretty much Rome had nothing else to offer. Also The Vatican was so full of tourists, I feel like I was underwhelmed by it. Also, I should mention that I´m writing this comment from Buenos Aires. There is equally as good italian food here as there was in Italy, only the people are fucking fantastic! So no one can argue that the food in italy is any better than elsewhere. Now I feel like I´m ranting so I´m going to stop.