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Published: July 23rd 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
** Ancient Adult Content Photos to Follow **
Three Hours to Naples I love the fast trains. The second class tickets are so comfortable, and the train is really clean. As we sped through Tuscany, I saw crumbled buildings next to modern, new homes. The rolling hills were carpeted with fields of yellow sunflowers, which was beautiful. Castle ruins sat on the sharper hills with little villages at their feet. It would be worth renting a car and driving from little town to little town for a few days.
Is this Naples, or L.A.? The Naples train station was decent, and I found my way to the information booth and tobacchi to get my subway tickets. The subway crowd looked like the skeezy people portrayed in Hollywood films. Happily, the museum was at the next stop and was just a five minute walk from the metro station. With the palm trees, traffic and graffiti, I felt like I had been magically transported to a bad neighborhood in L.A.
Archaeological Museum The museum was worth the walk through the (average?) Naples neighborhood. I wanted to see the collection of artifacts from Pompeii before going
Pompeii artifacts
All paintings of dirty deeds. to the actual site. The craftsmanship of the mosaics was impressive. I could easily imagine a whole city richly decorated with mosaics and frescoes. And then I went to the Secret Room. In the distant past, the adult content art of Pompeii was hidden away for special viewing only. Now, it’s free porn for everyone. The paintings were not extremely detailed, but you could definitely tell what was going on. The statues, on the other hand, were extremely detailed and I got a 360 degree view of people bumping uglies. Also the mythical god Pan bumping uglies with animals. Everybody has a hobby.
There is one myth that I find interesting, where Zeus turns himself into a swan to seduce the lady Leela. In the Correr museum in Venice there was a statue of a woman and swan humping, and through the various other museums I have seen paintings depicting this scene also. I think maybe this story was made up to explain bestiality in ancient times.
The upper floor had many rooms of various artifacts from Pompeii, though it was difficult to photograph them. My guidebook forewarned that this museum doesn’t keep the displays in perfect order,
made evident by the cobwebs, dusty cases and poorly positioned displays. The one room I liked on the second floor was a grand ballroom of sorts. There was not a single crucifix or Virgin Mary or anything Christian. The paintings celebrated real people or ancient myths in vivid colors. It was so refreshing.
The ground floor housed a ton of statues, several of them were way larger than life. I loved looking at them and comparing them to the Renaissance statues in Florence. There wasn’t much of a difference, the workmanship was fantastic. It’s moments like these that I rather loathe the destruction of the “pagan” sciences after the fall of Rome, because it took over a thousand years for people to again achieve such amazing art.
About My Sample of Naples I was never so happy to leave Naples. I actually caught myself thinking, “I miss Milan.” The walk through the park to and from the museum was short but a little jarring. Every other park I’ve been to has had little gelato carts on standby and kids playing in the fountain and old couple sitting on the benches. In Naples, most of the benches were occupied
by sleeping bums. The fountain had no running water and was the meeting point for neighborhood hoodlums, and the park itself was sad. There was no lawn, just brown hard dirt. It was also a sign when the playground was empty on a Saturday afternoon. I really wanted to take photos to capture my perspective, but I didn’t think pulling out my camera would have been a good choice. Nothing about this quick view of Naples made me want to further explore the city.
In Which I Become Canadian The local train service connects Naples to Sorrento. The trains are decorated in colorful graffiti and run mostly on schedule. The ride to Sorrento was supposed to take 70 minutes, but it ended up taking 90. For half the journey, I sat on my suitcase due to the lack of seats available. When some seats did open up, I ended up sitting next to two men who were obviously talking about me. One got off at a stop, and his friend, still sitting next to me, turned and said, “So you only speak English?” Oh dear.
I forgot about the fact that men in the south are more forward
than men in the north. When he asked if I was American, I replied, “No, Canadian.” And that was the end of the conversation. I guess Canadian women are prudes or this man didn’t know anything about the country to continue conversation further. Either way, I was fine with his new found silence.
Arrival in Sorrento My hostel is a good ten minutes’ walk from the train station, which was enough to satisfy me that I would like this town. It was a beach town, with casually dressed people strolling up and down the streets. The main road was lined with snack shops and clothing stores. The “hostel” is actually a hotel which converted some of its rooms into dormitories. My room had three bunk beds (six beds total). It was a little cramped, especially when I walked in to find two of my roommates hanging their wash on a string across the room. Whatever, it was cheap.
Dinner with Old People My guide book said that the Foreigners Club had a good night life and live music, so I headed out to find it. When I arrived, I found that I was the youngest person there. The
live music consisted of two musicians trying their hardest to play Frank Sinatra classics. Oh well, I was there, and I was hungry, so I asked for a table. As I looked around, I did see some younger couples. This restaurant was also a good date spot, because the terrace overlooked the sea for sunset.
Dinner was a creamy soup of caramelized onion, smoked salmon and croutons to start, with cannelloni as my main course. The soup was fantastic. The cannelloni – I like my Mom’s better! As I ate, I watched the people dancing in front of the “band.” It was so comical to see the musicians try to sing “YMCA,” while the locals just waved their hands in the air, not forming any letter in particular. All the American couples got up to dance to “How Deep Is Your Love,” which is the ultimate Sad FM song. The little girls broke free from their parents and spun each other around the dance floor. I could tell they were all princesses – it’s in the twirl of the dress.
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