Lemons, Mutant Lemons, Lemon Merchandise and, in a Moment of Madness, a Lemon Drink

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Oh how different it was today to our last international flights (see Keeping up Appearances)!

"Excuse me, but where is the Business Class Lounge? Why are you laughing?"

"You do realise that this is Luton Airport don't you? You can get a pastry from Pret if you like."

"Where's my complementary whisky cocktail as I'm getting comfortable in my seat? And why are you laughing?"

"You do realise that this is EasyJet don't you? You can have small tin of Diet Coke for £20 if you like."

The bag-drop at Luton and at Heathrow are the same though, with that annoying self-service machine and the worry as to whether I had done it right and whether we would ever see the bag again. There was then the absolutely humongous queue to get through security. To be fair, though, it did move pretty quickly and looked a lot worse than it actually was.

Luton Airport seemed to had changed yet again since we were last here (see Travel Snobbery But 25 Years of Extensions Have Made Luton Worse), although it seems to be by constantly extending what's already there. The security area is clearly still a building site and as we walked to our stand, it was like travelling back through the history of the airport, right back to the early part of the terminal that I used to use when I was going on business trips to Paris in the early 2000s. Our flight was leaving from Stand 3, which we thought it would be just a short walk, so we relaxed with those pastries from Pret and a cup of tea each. Sadly, Stand 3 was actually one of the furthest, so we needed to rush so as not to be those passengers who arrive late and keep everyone else waiting.

Note to self - there's another Pret near Stand 7, which has shorter queues, more empty tables and is a lot closer to the far away stands.

As it was so early in the morning and we had only had about three hours sleep, we slept for a while on the plane - missing out on the opulent breakfast that they were not serving. We woke up to some stunning views over the Alps, which put the views during my flights to and from Scotland to shame (see Sheep on The Runway Would Not be a Surprise). A few minutes later we started to land in Naples, so, clearly, it wasn't the Alps.

There was a huge queue for immigration, although all the Italians and anyone else from the EU were being ushered almost straight through. But then that is, of course, the Brexit that we all voted for (sorry, I can't resist!)

After some negotiation on the cost, we agreed on €120, for a taxi to Sorrento, where we were staying. His driving was psychotic, but then it wasn't much different from everyone else's. Road-markings - don't worry about them. Queues - definitely don't worry about them. Using your phone whilst driving - no problem (in fact, that partly explained the lack of adherence to the road-markings, given that he wasn't even looking, and wandering between lanes was inevitable).

We got to the hotel in one piece after about an hour and were then told that the meter said €140, so the previous negotiation pretty much counted for nothing.

The hot news is that Naples (or Napoli as it's called here) had just won the Italian football league, so there were banners and posters everywhere. Apparently, there's going to be a massive celebration tomorrow evening. Our trip had also coincided with the UK Coronation of King Charles (we're still having to get used to not calling him Prince Charles) and we were a bit sad that we'd be missing it. Now we find that we're still going to be celebrating, just that it's going to be Naples / Napoli winning the Italian football league instead. We're always up for a celebration!

Our hotel rooms would not be ready for another hour, so we went to the bar on the roof of the hotel to have a couple of drinks and wait. A hour later, it would still be another 10 minutes. And 10 minutes after that, it would be another 10. We're in Southern Europe now so chill out.

Eventually, once we'd got into our rooms and had a bit of time in our rooms to freshen and up get sorted, we headed out for a walk to stretch our legs and check out what Sorrento had to offer. We were actually travelling with two of our friends and the last time we travelled with them was to Seville (see Travel Snobbery But 25 Years of Extensions Have Made Luton Worse). Whereas Seville is famous for oranges, it appears that Sorrento is famous for its lemons. You name it, if it's lemon themed then it's here - lemon liqueurs, lemon sweets, lemon biscuits, lemon crisps, lemon soap, lemon plates, lemon cups, lemon clothes, lemon tea-towels, the list goes on.

I wonder if we'll get freshly squeezed lemon juice for breakfast?

There is, in fact, a lemon-grove right opposite the hotel, so we went there for a quick walk around. There were some of the biggest lemons we have ever seen, in fact we went as far as to call them "Mutant Lemons". We then saw where they have been grafting lemon branches on to orange trees (or maybe it was orange branches onto lemon trees), but we weren't really sure why. Maybe that was the cause of the Mutant Lemons, or perhaps it meant two crops from one tree, or perhaps some sort of new "lemange" Frankenstein hybrid.

We then went for our walk around Sorrento itself, which meant braving the roads, which are a slightly toned-down version of those in Vietnam, with lawless mopeds coming from every direction (see On Hanoi Roads, He Who Dares Wins). We eventually managed to find some moped-free, but very narrow, shopping streets. Of course, they're dominated by the lemon-themed shops. We got some lemon sweets and a lemon themed bowl.

We stopped for another drink and to enjoy the atmosphere. In a moment of weakness, I decided to have a lemon drink. I was soon very envious of my friend's "large beer", which we were expecting to be one pint, but was probably nearer to two.

The hotel was also near a great view-point for the sunset, so I walked there to get some photographs before we headed out for our evening meal. There is also a restaurant there and they very kindly let me onto their balcony for the best, unobstructed views. I don't think they were expecting me to get a tripod out though. This would definitely be somewhere to come back for a meal and to watch the sunset.

We walked back to a place that we had seen earlier in the day, which stood out as a great place to eat as it was set amongst a number of lemon trees. I had a seafood risotto for my meal, which was excellent, although I was not expecting the seafood to arrive still in the shells. Whilst we enjoyed the food, the service was beyond slow and would even give that restaurant in Portmeirion a run for its money for slow service (see I'm Sure it Never Rained in "The Village"). Remember, chill out, it's Southern Europe.

It was also starting to get surprisingly cold, so we were sat there freezing and waiting for our food. Not what I meant by "chill out". Note to self - bring a jacket when we go out tomorrow.

We finished with a short walk around the gardens that surrounded the restaurant.

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Photos

Mutant Lemons
It's hard to tell from the picture just how big these are.

Pret Breakfast
Something to eat at Luton Airport.

Not The Alps
Some mountains just outside Naples, which I thought were the Alps.

Hotel Pool
Whilst having a drink and waiting for our rooms to be ready.

Lemon Tat
You name it, you can get a lemon themed version of it!

Napoli Victory
The nearby Naples team has won the Italian league and everyone is celebrating.

Cannabis Shop
There was enough of this in New York but at least there wasn't the constant smell here (but they do seem to stereotype cannabis users).

Police Car
Now that's a cool police car, I just bet they don't want to get allocated one of the Fiats that are parked there as well.

Beer Envy
But I still enjoyed my lemon drink.

Sorrento Sunset
Sunset over the harbour from the restaurant near our hotel.

Sea Food Risotto
I wasn't expecting the shells.

Lemon Gardens
A walk around after our meal.