Whiskey in the Jar

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So, incarceration successfully avoided. If that is your criteria for a successful evening, then you are living life wrong. But I did avoid assaulting someone on foreign soil, which is always a good thing.

So, at the crack of dawn we get up and hit the road, I’ve been told today is Sunday, but I have no idea and am just going to take it on good faith that this is true. In any case, we are now off to Kilarney, Ireland and will be arriving on 1) Canada Day (For some reason they think they deserve a day for something they did. Honestly, we let them have their own flag and “parliament” shouldn’t that be enough?), which means that a few members of our group are in very high spirits, and 2) on the day of a regional (Cork v. Kerry) Celtic Football match (which allows players to use their hands and has different scoring values assigned to different areas of scoring, really it makes no sense, I think they just like watching people move and applaud at random times), which means that the locals will be in high spirits as well.

Before dinner we took a spin around the ring of Kerry (which entailed me going over the Cork and Kerry mountains, yet sadly, no Captain Farrell was to be found), which was amazing. I now know what green REALLY looks like. The views were unreal and I was allowed to see the spot where drunken Irishmen thought they saw leprechauns, nice country. I was also able to see a “smart car” which is in reality a rather stupid, tiny shit sled that I can almost reach from one end to the other of. Many people slept, but for the most part we were too busy taking all of it in, outstanding time.

Much high times and laughter at the pub in the hotel with some locals celebrating their team’s victory, not sure who won, but it appeared to be the ones in green and yellow. We got good and tuned up before heading to a place called “Cube” where my lesson in cider began (that lesson being, though it tastes like candy, it has a huge kick and one would be advised not to drink as many of them as they would beer, I however chose to drink more, which is why I don’t remember part of the evening).

Cube was OK at best. Some interesting people, some fun group sing alongs, but it was nothing too special. Then the night got interesting. We went to a bar, name unknown to me at present, and saw one of the most amazing bands I have ever seen. Hard rock with a penny whistle. I was in heaven, drunk as hell (but feck it, I’m in Ireland).

Hot, sweaty and drunk, the night proceeded back to the pub in the hotel, where I somehow (from what I was told) ended up with a double burger and chips from a Kebab place (by the way, Kebab places kick ass), and almost passed out at the bar.

From there we retired to the lobby, where, apparently, I insulted a local with a statement I made and as he was calling me out with a “You don’t know what you’re talking about!” I simply pointed at him and said, in a forceful teachers voice, “Go to bed! Go to bed NOW!!!” and he just vanished.

From what I am told, it was a wonderful night, I wish I could remember it, but FECK IT, I’m in Ireland.

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