Chapter 9: Bah Hamburg

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Sorry about the title. I couldn't think of anything good, so I went with a pun. I figured, if worst came to worst, I'd at least get a chuckle.

It has been a very long time since I updated. If I had to choose a reason, I'd probably say that I was focused on enjoying the rest of the trip as it started to wind down. You have to live in the moment, especially when you are traveling, so thats what I did. No regrets. But now I'm back and ready to tell you the secrets of Germany.

After a very relaxed last day in Amsterdam, we headed out the next morning for the train station. By this point, I was pretty done with trains. Let's be honest here: Trains are actually pretty awesome as far as modes of transportation go. They are fast, generally on time (better than planes), and the crash rate of trains is pretty low. As far as transportation went on this trip, I was most happy with training. But after taking trains everywhere, you start to get tired of it. Lay-overs and lack of seating on some trains can really make the 3 hour trip seem like so much longer.

But I digress. We went from Amsterdam to Amersfoot station, one of our many stops. We had to make a lay-over here as we waited for our connecting train to Osnabruck, and as we left the train car, we were hit with a wave of musical force. An orchestral overture was just starting up from somewhere as we stepped off the train, making our exit seem unusually epic. Seriously, try stepping off a train as an orchestra plays nearby and try not to feel like you are pretty important. We found roughly 25 person orchestra playing at the top of the stairs, apparently working on gathering money for a nearby children's foundation. I dropped them a 2 euro coin for making me feel like I was the lead role in a movie and moved on. Our train took about a half hour to get there, and we were off to Osnabruck. After another uneventful train ride, we got off at Osnabruck (no orchestra music this time) and caught our connecting train to Hamburg. A couple hours later, we were in Hamburg and hungry. First things first though, as we decided that finding our hostel would be the best first thing to take care of. We found a nearby tourist information booth and picked up a map, finding to our surprise that we were at a train station we didn't think we'd be docking at. However, it required just a slight change in plans, and before long, we had ridden the metro to our hostel. A nice place, the hostel was roomy and a nice change from the cold outside. We found our room, but only to be presently confused by our bed situation. We had booked 3 beds for our stay, but as far as we could tell, there was only one available bed in the room, with two more looking unmade and still in use. After multiple trips down to the front desk (they must have been sick of us at the end of this), we eventually found out that the two unmade beds were ours as well, so we settled in to our beds for a brief period of relaxation. However, the next mission needed to be addressed: we needed to eat.

Being about 4 blocks from a metro stop, we didn't have much trouble finding a place to eat. There was a McDonalds, a south african restaurant, and a bakery. We decided that the pizza in the bakeries' window was too much to pass up, so we headed in for a taste of german pizza. We ordered, between the three of us, a plate of pasta, a small pizza, and a large pizza, all of us taking one of these dishes for ourselves. When Jared went up to order his pizza, the woman behind the counter told him that they were out of what he wanted and that, instead of just picking a different one, they would give him another free small pizza in addition to the new pizza he picked. I guess they felt bad about it, though I had a sneaking suspicion that they were trying to get rid of stock before they closed in about 15 minutes. This was only further confirmed when, after slightly (excuse me, very slightly) burning my pizza, they offered me a free small pizza in addition to the large pizza I ordered. And dessert? Free of charge. Now, believe me when I say this was an exciting turn of events. The weary travelers with the ever decreasing bank accounts can't and won't turn down free food. I think we even decided to name Oct. 2nd as a new holiday. So, from now on, Oct 2nd is known as Shawn's Bakery day, named after the restaurant, Bakerie Schanze. Now, obviously, no human being could eat all the free pizza we had just obtained, so we boxed up what we couldn't finish and brought it back to the hostel for future meals (for nothing is quite as awesome as spending 6 euros and getting food for the next 3 days).

After getting back, we decided it was time for a drink, so we hopped on over to the hostel bar for happy hour. As we were ordering drinks, we had an interesting experience, or rather, Jared did. An older looking man, probably late fifties or early sixties, came over to Jared's end of the bar and just started talking. Not quite striking up a conversation mind you, just more or less rambling in broken english. It took all of 5 seconds to tell he was rather drunk, and while me and Tori were ordering drinks, Jared was caught in one of those situations where he wanted to order, but didn't want to be impolite to an intoxicated german man. You never know what can happen if you are impolite to a drunk. The high point of Jared's transaction with drunk german guy was when he put his face within millimeters of Jared's face and loudly exclaimed "I was in Chicago for 2 YEARS!". Soon afterwards, manners totally put aside, he left us momentarily to our drinks. We might have mentioned wanting to play pool to him before we sat down, and he left the room. Seeing as we did want to play pool, I went to the front desk so I could check out the balls and the sticks. Now, it turns out our intoxicated friend figured to help us out by getting to the gear first, so as I waited patiently in line to request the equipment, the guy was shouting "Sticks!!" at the receptionist, all the while making a motion with his hands that was akin to someone imitating crab pincers. I can't imagine shouting sticks and making crab pincer hands was helpful to our cause, not even mentioning that it was rude. Eventually, he was ignored enough that he muttered obscenities under his breath and left us well alone the rest of the night. When I made it up to the desk and got the gear for pool, the receptionist mentioned that she could have sworn the bartender promised not to serve that guy a drink ever again. Promise broken I suppose. We shot pool for a while, with myself on top at the end of cutthroat but Jared the reigning champion of just regular pool (to my credit, I made it a best of 3 series and played to the last ball). We spent the rest of the night recuperating from the day's travels, and listening idly to the german guys watching Germany's Got Talent, or it's rough equivalent. In bed by 10, and asleep shortly afterwards.

We slept in the next day, citing the fact that we didn't know of anything to do in Hamburg and that after Amsterdam, we needed all the relaxation we could get (because, if you don't recall, all the pot smoking and chilling out we did in Amsterdam was pretty hard on all of us.....). A warm shower and some cold pizza started our day off, and we took the metro down to Reeperbahn, the Red Light District of Hamburg. We had been told by several people that the Reeperbahn women of the night could trounce Amsterdam's hookers any day, so we went to check it out. However, when one goes to a red light district in the day light, chances are that no women will be out. So, we walked up and down Reeperbahn. We did find a museum/exhibit dedicated to the Beatles (as the Beatles were pretty frequent visitors in Hamburg back in the day, and the people here haven't forgotten) called Beatlemania. Simply turning down something called Beatlemania was hard enough, so we went inside and took a peek. Among the many exhibits detailing the Beatles' rise to fame and their humble beginnings, there was a karaoke booth (at which I belted out the first few lines of 'Yesterday'), recreations of some of their more famous concert spots, a glass case filled with all sorts of tacky Beatles merchandise and memorabilia, the Sgt. Pepper uniforms, a goofy room made up to look like the Yellow Submarine (complete with a steering wheel that one can set for the Sea of Green), and finally the "YEAH" cafe at the end. A fun diversion centered on a famous band that the people of Hamburg still love and respect. We continued walking up and down the Reeperbahn, collecting some of the better sex toy and store names we found on our walk. If you are faint of heart, skip to the next paragraph, but otherwise, here is a list of the things we saw on Reeperbahn: The Funky Pussy Club (why on earth would anyone name something that?), The Butt Missile (check accompanying picture), I Love Hot Dogs (actually a hot dog, but what a name), and a place called the Paradise Point of Sex. I don't have pictures or names of all the crazy sex related things we saw there, but if you ever go to the Reeperbahn and can keep it together, go into a sex store there. It's a weird and wonderful street to walk.

We headed back to the hostel to find that our german friends had left the hostel, and in their place were Sarah and Jorick. Jorick, though only staying one night, was a fun guy to hang out. I believe he was from Holland, and spoke enough German to help us order food at McDonald's and grab beer at a nearby convenience store. And then there was Sarah, another fun australian we met on our travels. Chipper and with orange hair, she was a welcome addition to our group. We found out that her itinerary followed ours all the way through Berlin, so we decided to become best friends. Well, maybe not immediately but in the end it happened. We went back after a nourishing meal at McDonald's and, with beer in tow, decided to watch The Dark Knight in german. Despite not knowing any german, the Dark Knight was still a very entertaining movie. We went to bed earlier than normal, a good call considering what we were in store for the next couple nights.

The next day, we did nothing at all. Truthfully. Most of the day was spent planning to do things, and then just being too tired or indecisive to really go out and do anything. We did go to the grocery store and pick up groceries as well as stuff to make the night's dinner with. We ended up having a red sauce pasta (or pesto pasta if you are me), with eggplant, mushrooms, and chicken. With all the old pizza and ready made meals we had consumed on this trip, it was nice to cook for ourselves and eat a good meal. To give credit where credit is due, Jared and Tori were the main architects of the meal, while I helped clean up. During our meal, I ran into Dean and Katharina, a duo from Dusseldorf I had met earlier that day having cold pizza in the kitchen. We all sat down together and just hung out as one does in a hostel setting. We were eating, being merry, and having a great time.....then Alex showed up. Now, let me just prepare you for this. None of us really liked Alex off the bat, but because we didn't end up discussing this until the next morning, he ended up coming out with us that night. Alex was, for lack of a better word, exceptionally australian. This means that he went beyond the machismo culture of australian males (truthfully, something that normally doesn't bother me that much) to a level I didn't think could be reached. The first thing I ever heard about him, from Sarah, was that he had just come from Octoberfest and, with his friends, had gone 5 days without eating any food or drinking any water, opting simply for only beer during his whole stay. Now, if thats true, it's absolutely stupid. I'm all for partying a little out of control now and then, but after that, your foot is already in the AA door. But thats only if it is true, which I'm skeptical of. Anyway, one entered into a conversation, Alex took to taking over our conversation topics and steering them right back to his second favorite subject matter after beer, himself. I remember at one point mentioning that we hadn't really gone out drinking much in Hamburg which was met with a loud and insulting retort of "Why the fuck not? You're traveling! You should be getting super drunk every night!", something that is not quite in line with my travel philosophy. I quietly seethed as the conversation went on. Tori had bought a case of beer at the store earlier and we had been drinking it and playing card games as the night was progressing. Eventually, Alex suggested that we go out to the Reeperbahn and make a night of it. After initially saying no, I ended up going to keep an eye on Tori, who was pretty up to going out on the town. One of those moments where I made a choice based on the fact that I wasn't exactly comfortable with a member of our team going out with this Alex fellow.

So, in the end, the party patrol ended up being me, Tori, Alex, some other australians (much more personable and well mannered) by the names of Jacob and Dave, Dean, and Katharina. We had to check in the rest of our case of beer with the front desk for some reason. I don't think they trusted us with it up in our rooms, so we followed protocol and left the beer with them. We metro'd to Reeperbahn and found a nearby bar with a good amount of people and decent music so we all stopped in. Now, we were out until pretty late just drinking and having a good time. We danced quite a bit (I remember briefly being on someone's shoulder, in the style of a chicken fight.....not sure how we didn't get kicked out), and I myself spent a good portion of the night dancing with the lovely lady Katharina. I like to think it was dancing anyway, though after enough beer, my dance moves become morbidly hilarious to watch, like someone crashing a clown car. But the two of us really hit it off as we danced our asses off to terrible american club tracks and everyone had a good night drinking and dancing until the stars themselves went to bed. I ended up heading home just slightly ahead of the group with Katharina and Dean. Tori came in about 10 minutes after me, frustrated by how she had to basically carry a very drunk Alex back to the hostel, so he wouldn't end up in a gutter the next morning. She also made note of how, like the class act we had come to expect, he had made a pass at every girl within a 5 foot radius of himself that evening, Tori included. In the end, I was glad that I had gone out, as I made some new friends in Dean, Katharina, Jacob and Dave. Just a shame that Alex was the burden of the evening. We were in bed by 3:30am, and asleep shortly afterwards.

The next day, we started late again. It's one of those vicious cycles you know? Go out the night before, then just try getting up in time to utilize your morning. Harder than it sounds, I swear. Despite that fact, we got up with enough time to make a day trip to Lubeck before our last night in Hamburg, a much touted event. We took the train to Lubeck, which was about 45 minutes in transit before we reached our destination. Lubeck had been suggested to us by our friend Angi, and after we got there, we realized what a good call it was. The city, while small looking at first, opened up (much like a pop-up book) into a great big maze of markets and cathedrals. One of the many towns bombed during the second world war, it was brimming with history. We started with lunch, as food has become one of the many staples of our trip and whenever we get somewhere new, we always seemed to be hungry. We decided on a place called the Block House, a chain of upscale steak places where the meat is prepared on site with a whole slew of house made sides. We sat down, were treated to a great steak meal with a baked potato (jacket potato if you are in Europe) with home made sour cream and some shaved horseradish and some garlic bread as well. I can say nothing bad about the food we had except that I ate so much that walking around afterwards became something of a task. The service however, was not fantastic. We had a grand total of 5 hours in Lubeck before we had planned to be back in Hamburg, and we spent 2 hours of it in the Block House, waiting for food or the check or anything conducive to an enjoyable eating experience. We couldn't have been higher than the 4th or 5th total table in the place. Even with one waitress (and they had two), we could have got more attention than we did. Small blemish on an otherwise fantastic meal.

We spent the rest of the day walking around Lubeck. We went inside St. Marien's Cathedral, a church that had been bombed during WWII, and with donations had been faithfully reconstructed to look like it's predecessor. It was one of those places where, when you walk around, you get a sense that it was rebuilt. The floors and the ceiling looked like they were from different eras, but even then, the cathedral as a whole was breathtaking. You go to all the big churches in Europe, but try going to smaller, unheard of churches and you will constantly be surprised with what you find. St. Marien's had some intense testaments to famous deaths and severe moments in history. I'd look up on the wall to see the marbled busts of what looked like cherubs, only to find that instead of angel or baby faces, there were skulls. On every one of these wall mounts. It's unsettling to be honest. You get so used to seeing the servants of God, and then BAM....everything has skulls. I loved it though. Such cool wall ornaments (cuz I have no idea what their proper names are). Also, there was an awesome Zodiac Clock on display there. See the pictures, because truthfully, it was one of the more amazing displays I saw while in a church. It was amazingly well crafted and it was operating, and just to see a piece of art working that well was something else entirely. We left St. Marien's and walked past St. Jacobi's Cathedral, though it appeared closed to the public. As we walked around Lubeck with our remaining hour, we saw some amazing old architecture and some really old school brick buildings. It was a beautiful city, and our time there was absolutely too short, but we caught our train and made it back to the hostel by 7, like we promised. Now, a positive and a negative. The negative first. Me and Sarah went back to the front desk to "un check-out" the beer we had left behind the counter the night before. We went up to the desk and asked them about it, only to be told that a 'scraggly bearded, australian guy had come by and taken the rest of the beer'. Alex had left for Copenhagen that morning, but not without leaving his mark. Douche of the trip award goes to him. We were bummed. But, while waiting in line, we saw a guy who had just made it Hamburg that night. A guy by the name of Andrew from DC had literally gotten in line ahead of us. The kid was a junior in college, and had been studying in Berlin for about 2 months if I recall correctly. Me and Sarah struck up a conversation with him, and before leaving, we found he was staying in our room. Before he was even unpacked, we invited him out on the town with us. You can't say we aren't the coolest people ever.

So, the night had begun. With Dean and Katharina meeting us up at the train station, Jared, me, Andrew and Sarah were playing cards until we left. In case anyone wanted to hear how cards went, I killed and Jared got beaten a lot. Twas a rough night for him, though I believe it was because Sarah was picking on him! Who knows. We meet up with Dean, Katharina, Jacob, and Dave at the train station, and we started on our last night in Hamburg. Truthfully, as the night progressed from one bar to the next, I lost track of what was happening. Here are the facts I recall. People peeled off as it got later, and it was only me, Jacob. Dave, Katharina and new friend Ashley at the 5th and final bar. I remember that we all had a great time. I remember it was 3:30am when I decided to walk home alone. And I remember how it happened. I was dancing with Katharina, and I asked her to come outside with me. I brought her outside, and we had a....fond farewell. Throughout the night, though it's hard to put into words here, we had made a definite connection. Again, I lack the words to describe it well enough, but know that, as I was walking away from her, I looked back and thought "What an amazing girl". We both know the impact we made on the other, and I'll leave it at that. Drunk and very disoriented, I tried to find my way back to the hostel at 3:30am. The major problem was that I had no idea where we had traveled during the evening, and with no idea where I was, it took a very long time to find our hostel. I did eventually find my way back there (and to be fair, every cab I tried to hail didn't seem to want me, as I tried ferociously to grab a cab home), and I crawled into bed at 6:30am. With our train at 9:30am, I slept only two hours before we were up and moving again, on our way to Berlin.

I realize that, at the end of the day, the choices I made on my last night might seem dumb. Staying out late? Trying to find my way home alone? Yeah. I don't disagree. But, if you were to ask me if it were worth it, I would say yes every time. Besides having a phenomenal night with all of the new friends we made in Hamburg, the time I spent with Katharina is something I will not forget anytime soon. She is something else, for lack of a better word, I hope to find her again someday. Truly.

But until then, we are off to Berlin, and to see our friend Angi, a reunion we have all been looking forward to greatly. And thats where this chapter will end. Look for my Berlin entry soon!

Signing off from Portland, OR,

Ben

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Photos

Piggy
Not sure what was up here, but it was on Reeperbahn. Go figure

The Butt Missile
About the size of my arm. Not to be trifled with