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Published: October 7th 2007
I met a young French couple (24 years old) yesterday just by leaving the door open in my auberge (hostel) while I was in the room. I had been out walking all day since we can’t be in the hostel between 10 and 4 anyway, so by the evening I was sort of burnt out on walking around alone. Since I didn’t really have anything else to do, I was just going to read some and try to go to bed (it was somewhere between 9 and 10 at that point). However, the couple stopped by and wondered if I wanted to join them for a walk and a drink somewhere. And I did. And it was great. We talked a lot about cultural differences, and how we thought each culture became what it is today.
DISCLAIMER:
I realize that the following section is a grand, sweeping generalization. I know that there are several people to whom this does not apply at all.
CULTURAL DIFFERENCE ONE: FRENCH MEN
POINT ONE: ATTITUDE TOWARDS WOMEN
Gross. They think they’re hot. They think they’re it, they’ve got it, and you want it - can’t do without it, even. Macho and chauvinist, they talk about women in a terribly demeaning way. French women, however, don’t see things this way. For them, this is just normal and expected behavior, provoking no reaction either way. Someone reacting to it the way I do would be seen as overly sensitive and maybe even feminist (and I’m usually not, really…).
Where an American guy might come up to a girl he didn’t know, introduce himself, and make small talk, casually working in there somehow the fact that she had caught his eye from across the way, a French guy would come up to her, ask if you’re from around here, put his arm around you, and spit out about five generic, insincere compliments in rapid-fire succession. But don’t feel too special, either, if you’re singled out; I’ve seen them try it, get rejected, walk ahead 50 feet, try it on someone else, get rejected again, continue 50 more feet…
But in their defense…
POINT TWO: FASHION SENSE WITHOUT IMPLICATIONS
LOVE LOVE LOVE French style, period. No sweats and baggy tees and flip-flops. But looking specifically at the guys, though, there is a HUGE difference. What many Americans consider to be “gay” or “metro” style (in quotes because - well, duh. These are awful adjectives - and what do they even mean, anyway?) is just the normal dress here. Men wear clothes that fit and hug the body. Since most of them are so thin, it is generally quite flattering. They are also not afraid of pink, purple, or any other color, and they care what they look like as much as the girls do. All that with ZERO implications about their sexuality; it’s just normal.
CULTURAL DIFFERENCE TWO: LIFE VS WORK
Here again, I recognize that this is a huge, sweeping generalization.
“Les Américains vivent pour travailler, et les Français travaillent pour vivre.”
“Americans live to work, and the French work to live.”
It’s something the French often chide Americans about, but there is some truth in it. It is not uncommon to work 40-50 hours a week in the States, especially if your job is particularly demanding. For the French, it is 35 hours at most, no matter how crazy your job… with an hour and a half or two hours for lunch every day no matter what. Businesses close for the same two hour break, with the attitude, “A proper lunch with family and/or good friends is way more important to me than my job is, as should be the case for you.”
When I was explaining to the couple I was out with that in order to be happy, I personally need to have a job someday that is challenging and about which I am quite passionate, I got quite strange looks, especially when I mentioned (they asked) that I would rather have that first before starting a family because that was more important for my personal happiness. Grégory and Lara maintain that while it is always nice to have a job that you do not hate, it shouldn’t really matter either way, as long as you have a good family and home life, and a job too demanding should be sacrificed for family.
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Beau
non-member comment
I love these people.
Thinking about my previous comment about how these businesses simply do what they want, I think i spoke a little too soon. I LOVE the fact that that entire country believes that a job is JUST a job and not a life commitment, and that they make extra time to spend with family. As far as the gender generalizations, it sounds like I would be way too frustrated if i dwelled on it, which i probably would, if i were there. I absolutely agree that guys should care about how they look just as much as girls, but i wonder how it got to be that guys there think they're something special, and what gets me, how the women are ok with that and don't seem to mind being seen that way? Crazy. Thoughts?